Waiting for the Dawn
by GateSeeker2
Summary: Cassie tries to cope with the loss of her mother, but Cassie finds that living with Sam brings many surprises. Can resolution come within 48 hours.
1. Default Chapter

**Title:** "Waiting for the Dawn"  
  
**Copyright:** © 2004  
  
**Author:** "GateSeeker2"  
  
**E-mail:** gateseeker2 "at" netzero "dot" com (For some reason this website isn't acknowledging my e-mail address. The ampersand key or isn't working - go figure.)  
  
**Status:** Complete – but will be posted in parts  
  
**Sequel/Series:** Twelve parts total. If there's enough response, there may be a sequel.  
  
**Summary:** As dawn always brings the promise of something new, Cassie tries to cope with the loss of her mother, but Cassie finds that living with Sam brings many surprises. Sometimes what you want in life and what you get are two very different things. Who will Sam choose?  
  
**Season:** Seven  
  
**Classification:** Missing Scene – occurs between two Episodes: "Heroes Part II" and "Resurrection."  
  
**Spoilers:** LOTS but mainly just vague references - Stargate the Movie, Children of the Gods, Broca Divide, First Commandment, Singularity, Into the Fire, Fire and Water, Seth, Divide and Conquer, Beneath the Surface, Rite of Passage, Ascension, Entity, Meridian, Redemption Part II, Smoke and Mirrors, Fallen, Full Circle, Fragile Balance, Grace, Evolution Parts I & II, Chimera, Death Knell, Heroes Parts I & II  
  
**Category:** General/Angst/Romance  
  
**Characters:** Jack O'Neill, Sam Carter, Pete Shanahan, and Cassandra Fraiser  
  
**Pairing:** Sam/Pete and Sam/Jack – sort of  
  
**Rating:** PG  
  
**Legend:** Ellipses (...) - indicates a pausing or a hesitation in a person's speech as well as indicating unfinished sentences. Words in ALL CAPITALS indicates words that the character is attempting to emphasize.  
  
**Warnings:** None.  
  
**File Size:** 292 KB as a Microsoft Word Document  
  
**Archive:** Reproducing or posting on other sites is not permitted.  
  
**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters and places are the property of MGM, World Gekko Corp and Double Secret productions. This piece of fan fiction was created for entertainment not monetary purposes and no infringement on copyrights or trademarks was intended. Previously unrecognized characters and places, and this story, are copyrighted to the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead is coincidental and not intended by the author.  
  
**Author's Notes:** "Heroes" took place several weeks or months after "Chimera" and since the scene with Sam and Pete, in "Chimera," walking through the park appeared to take place in the late summer, I am setting this story in the early fall, possibly around October 2003 and the beginning of the professional hockey season. I assume Cassie is seventeen years old and a senior in High School. This story begins on the Saturday morning after Doctor Fraiser was killed in "Heroes." I kept wondering what happened to Cassie and how she felt having to cope with losing a second mother to the Goa'uld. And, in the episode "Resurrection," I questioned Sam's verbal hesitation and slight physical flinching to Agent Malcolm Barrett when she declined his invitation to dinner and said, "It's just that I'm seeing someone right now." She didn't seem too enthused with the idea of having a boyfriend (i.e. Pete). This is my attempt to answer several questions and frustrations that were running through my mind between the episodes "Heroes Part II" and "Resurrection."  
  
**Other Stories:** If you like this story, check out my others posted to this website: "Worth It," "I Love My Life," and "Biggest Decision." Let me know what you think. Thanks, and enjoy!

**"Waiting for the Dawn" - Part 1**  
  
Dawn had broken across the black sky. The early morning sun rays began to creep their way through the guest bedroom window of Sam Carter's house. As the room was slowly becoming flooded with the bright light, the morning was forcefully removing all shadows and any darkness that was attempting to hide within the room.  
  
All during the night, Cassandra Fraiser had been anxiously waiting for the light to come and drive away the gloom not only from the night and her new room but from her heart. She was so grateful to stay with Sam now that her mother was dead, but she still felt alone, especially during the night. Cassie never liked feeling alone, or being in the dark - alone. In some ways, that was why this rambunctious teenager loved slumber parties with her friends so much. There was safety and comfort in numbers. Growing up on the planet Hanka, it was customary for families to sleep in one large common room. She would often be lulled to sleep by the snores of her father and the rhythmic breathing of her mother. Cassie hated sleeping by herself. She longed for the reassurance of knowing that someone was nearby in the darkness. She remembered when she had first arrived on this planet all those years ago and how desperately she had clung to Sam's arm because she did not want to be left by herself. Cassie was afraid to be unaccompanied, but she knew even then that being alone was something that she might now have to become accustomed - and she dreaded it.  
  
Having actually awoken a long time ago while the night was still surrounding her, Cassie had briefly gotten out of bed and completely raised the mini-blinds of the large window facing east. Then she quickly jumped back into the warm bed. As Cassie laid in bed anticipating the dawn of a new day to arrive, she thought, and remembered, and cried.  
  
She was lying on the bed and tightly snuggled into the pillow while her eyes were mesmerized by the light now streaming uninhibited through the window. The sky turned from a gloomy black that threatened loneliness to the most incredible shades of pastels and finally vibrant oranges and blues that promised hope. Now that dawn was in full bloom, she wanted to cry some more, but she couldn't. Her eyes had dried sometime ago. But inside, her heart was still aching, hurting, longing to be held by her mother – her adoptive mother. Oh, she missed her so much, especially in the morning.  
  
Cassie had never been an early riser – even as a small child on Hanka. However, Janet Fraiser thrived on the morning and would enjoy every moment. Often Janet would take her coffee out on the front porch and watch the sun rise over the distant mountains. Janet would sing to herself while listening to the radio that she kept on the porch and read the morning paper as she relished in the opportunities that another day would bring.  
  
This morning, Cassie continued to lie in bed and think of all the times and various ways that Janet would come into her room and awaken her. It was a morning ritual with Janet, one that Cassie wouldn't always welcome. After all, what teenager likes to be awakened at dawn by the most cheerful perkiest person in the world? As Cassie remembered several of Janet's antics and her persistent yet very effective ways of awakening her, she soon found herself smiling. Gosh, it had been days since Cassie had smiled.  
  
At first Janet's sunrise antics had surprised Cassie. She had never experienced such morning habits. All Cassie could remember about waking on Hanka was hearing her birth mother saying in a loving yet calm voice, "Rise child, the day has begun." The personality differences between her adoptive mother and her biological mother were stark. Cassie thought of several of the ways that her mother, Janet, would come to wake her up. Some days, she would be so crazy. Janet seemed to especially prefer one specific type of morning greeting. Cassie giggled as she finally realized that Janet would use this method especially if Cassie had been in a bad mood the night before or was grounded. Janet would slowly and quietly enter Cassie's room and kneel over Cassie's head. Then, Janet would sing in the most off key operatic and loud voice, "Wake up, wake up little rose bud. Wake up."1 Janet tried to explain how it was from an old cartoon, but since Cassie hadn't ever seen it, Cassie just found it annoying. Now, what she wouldn't give to hear that warm loving greeting instead of a harsh cold alarm clock.  
  
Cassie had been taught how to use an alarm clock quite early upon arriving on Earth and moving in with Dr. Fraiser. Yet, Cassie also quickly learned that the snooze mode was perhaps the best feature of an alarm clock. However, even with two alarms in her room, Cassie still managed to oversleep most of the time. Some times when Cassie was running late for school, Janet would knock incessantly and loudly on Cassie's door until Cassie had no choice but to get out of bed and forcefully open the door yelling, "WHAT?!" Janet would just smile sweetly and say oh so cheerily in an amused angelic tone, "Oh, I'm sorry. Did I wake you?" This sarcastic approach really infuriated Cassie, but thinking back she realized that most of the time she had deserved it.  
  
As Cassie was continuing to mull over her memories, she thought of how one of her favorite ways to be awakened by her mom was really pretty silly. Janet would come into Cassie's room before the alarm was scheduled to ring and sit on the edge of her bed. Then Janet would gently begin to rock the bed up and down until it got more vigorous then she would say in this really strange old woman toothless sounding country accent, "Come on Missy. Hee hee. You're burnin' day light. Get a move on Missy. Yee Haw!! It's time to hit the trail." Then Janet would proceed to tickle Cassie until they both were giggling and lying in the bed snuggled together under the covers until the alarm sounded. But, that hadn't happened in a long time though. Janet mainly did that when Cassie was younger and had first come to live with her. Now that Cassie had grown up and gotten this "I'm a teenager so I know more than you do" attitude, Janet hadn't used that good morning greeting in quite some time. Oh how Cassie missed those early morning greetings.  
  
Janet was definitely creative. Of course, Cassie would have hated to have admitted to her mom then how much she actually liked the way she was awakened, but now Cassie would give anything to have Janet wake her up just one more time so that she could thank her mom for everything that she had given her and meant to her. Cassie vowed to be sure to continue the Fraiser family tradition of early morning greetings with her own children.  
  
Pulling her pillow closer to her and hugging it as tightly as she could, Cassie sighed and spoke quietly to the picture of Janet placed on the night stand near the bed, "Mom. I miss you so much. I hope you know how much I loved you – do love you – will always love you. You are and forever will be my mom." Cassie found tears once again were streaming down her cheeks. Her voice was strangled and tight from frustration, fear, loneliness, and deep sorrow. "I know that you were doing what you had to do, and you wouldn't have ever wanted to leave me, but you did...and you're gone...and I'm alone...again." She didn't even try to wipe away the tears as she now sobbed heavily. "OK, I have Sam, but I don't have you! I love Sam so much too, but she's not you Mom." Cassie was so upset, the odds of Janet dying off world were not very high, but the chance was always there. Sam traveled through the gate several times a week and faced numerous dangerous situations. The odds of loosing Sam were even greater, but Cassie refused to think about that now. She strained to see the picture clearly through her tears. "I want to be just like you, you taught me so much, Mom. I just wish I could have said good-bye...or just hugged you one more time...or just have you wake me up...one more time." Cassie cried for a few moments more then added. "But, know; I'll never forget you...and neither will your grandchildren...I hope to give my children the same type of wonderful memories that you gave me." She sniffed a few more times then closed her eyes as she hugged her pillow one more time imagining that it was her mother, "I love you Mom, thank you for everything."  
  
Cassie had continued lying in bed until there were no more traces of dawn. The early morning had clearly given way to the full brunt of the day. She heard the shower running in Sam's master bedroom/bath and knew that Sam was now awake. Sam's shower was just on the other side of the wall to which Cassie's bed and back were touching. Every morning this week, Cassie would already be awake and waiting to hear the now familiar sound of water running.  
  
Sam was an early riser but not necessarily a true "morning person" like Janet. Cassie loved Sam, but Sam wasn't her mom. Sam was her aunt – honorary aunt – big sister and friend. Giving that Cassie wasn't attending school this week since Sam picked her up on Monday afternoon due to Janet's death and subsequent memorial, Sam would simply allow Cassie to wake and progress through the day's activities at her own pace. However, in the few short days that Cassie had stayed with Sam since her mother's death, Cassie had already learned of Sam's morning routine: shower, coffee, paper, quick breakfast, check her e-mails, more coffee, and then an awkward attempt at conversation. Both of them were missing Janet so much that neither was really able to talk about it with one another yet. But today was Saturday, maybe the two of them could go to the park, or mall or just do something so that they could spend some time together. Perhaps, they could even play a couple games of chess.  
  
Just then Cassie was brought out of her thoughts when she heard whistling. "That's strange," Cassie said to herself. Sam's shower was still flowing strong, but there was definitely whistling coming from the kitchen. And now, the smell of coffee, and what was that...bacon and eggs? Cassie was very curious and proceeded to get out of bed.  
  
She opened her door slowly and stepped hesitantly into the hallway heading toward the kitchen and the insipid whistling. Cassie stopped just before rounding the corner that would take her into the kitchen when she heard the whistling stop and a man's voice beginning to sing with the radio that was now playing. This was definitely strange to Cassie. 'Who is that?' Cassie thought to herself. 'What is a man doing in Sam's kitchen? A burglar wouldn't break in at the crack of dawn to fix breakfast. Who would be here this early? It's morning for cryin' out loud!' These thoughts quickly raced through her mind. 'Wait – it couldn't be Jack could it?'  
  
**To Be Continued...**  
  
**Footnotes:  
** 1 This is a quote from "Olive Oyl" in the cartoon Popeye. Sorry – haven't found out the title of the actual TV episode yet.  
  
**NOTE:** If you liked it, or if you didn't like it, please let me know. Thanks for reading. 


	2. Waiting for the Dawn Part 2

**Author:** GateSeeker2  
  
**Disclaimer:** All necessary information is listed prior to Part 1

**"Waiting for the Dawn" - Part 2**  
  
Cassie stayed where she was and listened carefully trying to see if she could clearly make out to whom the voice of the man belonged. Nope – she didn't recognize it. It sounded sort of high – a tenor maybe. She thought Jack would be more of a baritone or bass. What about Daniel? Cassie continued to listen.... Nope – she still couldn't make it out. Ok, Cassie had enough of this; it was time to confront this man.  
  
Cassie started to take a step then stopped. She looked down quickly yet briefly at herself to make sure that she was wearing something appropriate: shorts and a T-shirt – good enough, at least she was covered. Cassie boldly began again and stepped around the corner and took a few steps into the kitchen. She stopped suddenly when she saw a man – a blonde man – wearing nothing but some black trousers. He had his back to her and was putting some bread in the toaster.  
  
"Who are you?" Cassie had definitely spent enough time around Colonel Jack O'Neill and her mother, Major Doctor Janet Fraiser, for that matter, to learn how to give her voice a commanding edge.  
  
The man was startled and quickly turned around. "Hey! You startled me. Mornin', you must be..."  
  
Cassie swiftly cut the half naked man off with her piercing gaze and her harsh tone, "I asked, 'Who are you?' Answer me!"  
  
The man looked at Cassie with a strange "back the attitude off" look then turned slightly so that he could push the button down on the toaster and then turned the radio off. After that, he started to walk toward her. Cassie had now positioned herself on the other side of the kitchen island so it could act as a barrier, and this man was now standing with his back to the kitchen sink with his arms crossed over his chest.  
  
"OK...I'm Pete. Pete Shannahan." He tried to sound cordial.  
  
Cassie just kept staring at him the entire time with a deadly serious expression. "So? I don't know you. What are you doing in Sam's house?"  
  
"Oh right, well..., we haven't met yet. I'm Sam's boyfriend. I live in Denver and I got in late last night. Sorry I didn't get a chance to meet you then."  
  
The man's words sounded like rumbling in Cassie's ears. 'Pete? Boyfriend? Sam has a boyfriend? She never mentioned a Pete. This can't be right,' Cassie thought.  
  
As the teenage girl stood there with a now dumbfounded look on her face, Pete turned to retrieve the toast from the toaster that had just popped up and began to butter it. "So, do you want a piece of toast? I made some bacon and eggs too, I didn't know if you...?"  
  
Cassie was shaking her head and cut him off again, "OK wait a minute. Sam doesn't HAVE a boyfriend. She would have told me."  
  
The man sounded a bit cocky and arrogant to Cassie, and he was obviously a bit annoyed that Cassie had cut him off in mid-sentence – twice. "Well, I wouldn't know about that, but she does have one – it's me. And you must be Casey?"  
  
"It's Cassie as in Cassandra," she spat out loudly and continued to stare at him with her arms crossed.  
  
"Oh, sorry." He paused for a brief second then sat down at the kitchen table not knowing exactly what to say. "So Sam told me about your loss. It must be hard for you."  
  
'What a jerk!' she thought, but instead she said, "Of course, it's hard for me! I just lost my mother!" Cassie's voice had risen somewhat. However, Cassie didn't want to talk about her mother. Right now, she wanted to know why this man was claiming to be Sam's boyfriend. "You can't be Sam's boyfriend. I want you to leave. NOW!" Cassie exclaimed.  
  
"Now, just a minute..." Pete was sorry that her mother had died, but he wasn't going to let this teenager come between him and Sam.  
  
"NO! No waiting. YOU. LEAVE. NOW!" Cassie was emphasizing her words, like a certain Air Force Colonel, while pointing straight at the front door.  
  
"Listen. I don't know what your PROBLEM is but I'm not going to..." Pete was still sitting at the table but his voice had gotten much louder too. His irritation with this girl was beginning to show.  
  
Just then as Cassie and Pete were getting into a potentially heated argument, Sam came hurrying into the kitchen. Her hair was dripping with water and she was still struggling to pull her T-shirt down over her damp torso to her jeans. Sam had heard some raised voices coming from the kitchen while she was finishing her shower and decided that it was best to help diffuse a possible situation from escalating. She figured that Pete and Cassie must have surprised one another. If she had known that Pete was coming in from Denver last night, she would have warned Cassie last night - or maybe not. However, she did inform Pete about Cassie staying with her. Now, Sam had walked into a clear-cut confrontation of sorts. Both Pete and Cassie had their voices raised.  
  
"Hey! Hey! Calm down." Sam said holding her hands up to both Pete and Cassie as she cut Pete off in mid-sentence. "What's going on?"  
  
Cassie was relieved to see Sam and didn't waste anytime. "Sam, what is this MAN doing here? He says he's your BOYFRIEND, but he isn't, right?" Cassie implored with her eyes as much as her voice.  
  
Sam was definitely not ready for this. This was not how she planned to introduce Cassie to Pete, but then again, she hadn't really considered how or when she would introduce them. "Well..., Cassie, this is...Pete Shanahan. He's a detective from the Denver Police Department."  
  
Cassie didn't care, "Who cares! He's not your boyfriend, right?!" This time she asked much more intensely with a slight catch in her voice and a shake of her head, as her eyes burned into Sam.  
  
Sam had to drop her head, "Yes, Cassie, we started seeing each other a couple of weeks ago."  
  
Pete was quite pleased and suddenly found a slight smug grin forming on his face; this was the first time in their brief dating relationship that she had referred to him as such. However, he also noticed that she didn't say the word "boyfriend." Pete had already started eating his toast during the exchange with Cassie so he just continued to eat his breakfast now that Sam had entered. He began to wonder why this girl obviously had a problem with him being Sam's boyfriend.  
  
Cassie just stared at Sam for a moment after her admission then spoke somewhat harshly, "No Sam! What are you doing? You can't date anyone! You're ruining everything! How can you date him! This isn't right Sam! How could you? I can't believe that you're doing this! Since when? Why? Why now, for cryin' out loud?" Cassie had started pacing and throwing her arms around and stomping a little like only irate teenagers know how to do.  
  
Sam tried to approach Cassie to touch her arms and soothe her. "Cassie, calm down. Everything's fine. Let's sit down and eat breakfast. You can get to know Pete, and I'll tell you..." Sam tried to say.  
  
"No!" Cassie threw off Sam's arms and continued pacing about the room. "How could you have done this? Why didn't you tell me? Did you tell mom? Did she know? I can't believe you could do this to him? You know how much he cares about you? Sam, why? Don't you care about him any more?" Cassie continued to rant and rave as tears began to form. Sam just didn't know what to say and stared wide eyed at Cassie as the questions were unrelenting. "Does HE know? How can you be with HIM..." Cassie said while gesturing to Pete who was sitting at the table stuffing his face, "...when I know that you're in love with...."  
  
"CASSIE!" Sam shouted at the teenager having gotten her attention just before Cassie said anything else. Pete's curiosity had definitely been peeked during Cassie little tirade. After all, he was a detective and the youngster definitely seemed to be alluding to another man in Sam's life. Sam took a purposeful breath then exhaled, "Cassie," much more calmly.  
  
Cassie was crying profusely and was hurting deeply. She was hurting from having just lost her mother, and now from feeling betrayed by a side of Sam that seemed quite out of character. She was also stinging from the thought of having to share Sam with a stranger while someone else was going to be all alone. Cassie was still on edge and only paused briefly when Sam had called out her name. Cassie asked point blank – eyes meeting eyes, "Did you have sex with him, Sam?"  
  
Cassie had been rapidly firing questions at Sam, yet this last question threw Sam for a loop and Sam's expression changed to a startled "deer caught in the head lights" look. She couldn't believe that Cassie would ask her something like that. But, Sam knew that Cassie had always been a very straight forward talking child and had honed this skill under the mentoring of her mother, Janet. Cassie was seventeen and knew about the birds and bees. Janet had already ensured that they had that talk some time ago when Cassie started puberty and updated the talk when she had started dating. However, Sam was an adult and could do what she wanted, but suddenly Sam was confronted with the truth about her actions and was somewhat ashamed to admit it to Cassie. Sam couldn't bring herself to verbalize an answer. Instead, Sam just broke her gaze with Cassie and bowed her head saying, "Please..., Cassie..., let's just sit down and..."  
  
Cassie couldn't believe it. Sam's avoidance of her question was answer enough. "NO! I don't want to SIT! I don't want to LISTEN to what you have to say, and I don't WANT to stay HERE!" Cassie was angry and upset. She hurriedly tried to step around Sam so that she could head back to her room.  
  
Sam reached out to grab Cassie's arm and swung her around, "What do you mean by that?"  
  
"I'm leaving – outta here – sayonara - I'm not staying as long as he's here! I thought I knew you Sam." Cassie tore her arm away from Sam's grasp and ran to the guest room. Sam was dumbstruck at first but quickly followed Cassie and found her throwing some of her things into her backpack.  
  
"Cassie, please!" Sam realized that she was begging, but she wasn't exactly sure how to handle this situation. After all, Sam wasn't a parent. She definitely felt her abilities lacking in this department. And she was a bit surprised at how Cassie was reacting. "Where do you think you're going? Stay. We can talk..."  
  
"Talk!? NOW you want to talk?" Cassie briefly stopped what she was doing to look up at Sam and coolly asked, "Did you tell Mom?"  
  
Sam hadn't told Janet about Pete. Well, Ok, Janet had known about Pete from when she treated him in the infirmary after the Sarah/Osiris incident. But, Sam had only told her that they had gone out on a few dates - not about how far their relationship had progressed. "Cassie, I was going to, but...well...everything has happened so fast that..."  
  
Cassie watched Sam through tear laden eyes. "She loved you like a sister Sam. I can't believe you kept this from her, from us. I thought we were ALL family?"  
  
Sam tried to step closer to Cassie in hopes of hugging her, but Cassie had moved instinctively the moment Sam tried to approach her. Cassie zipped up her backpack, slipped on her flip flops, grabbed her jacket, picked up the car keys to her mom's car and headed out of her new room. Nothing Sam said was getting through to her. Cassie was still running on the recent trauma of losing her mother and now this shocking news.  
  
"Cassie you can't just leave!" Sam called out to her as she followed her to the front door.  
  
"Watch me!" Cassie yelled as she exited the house.  
  
Sam pleaded from the front porch, "Tell me where you're going!"  
  
Cassie had already reached the driver's side door of her mom's hatch back wagon when she looked straight back at Sam at yelled, "Where do YA THINK?" And with that, Sam watched as Cassie sped away from her house. Sam knew exactly where Cassie was headed.**To Be Continued...**  
  
**NOTE:** If you liked it, or if you didn't like it, please let me know. Thanks for reading. 


	3. Waiting for the Dawn Part 3

**Author:** GateSeeker2  
  
**Disclaimer:** All necessary information is listed prior to Part 1  
  
**"Waiting for the Dawn" - Part 3**  
  
It was still fairly early in the morning when Jack found himself walking up the drive way to his house. He had wanted to go for an early run to clear his head from his recent pain medication and refresh himself, but his ribs were still protesting too much. After all, it hadn't been quite a full week yet since he was hit full force with that staff blast at fairly close range. The new vest inserts had stopped the full force of the blast, but he still had a few severely bruised ribs and a couple of nice burns. 'Nothing good ever happened on a Monday,' Jack thought.   
  
So much had happened during these last two weeks. The first week was hectic and spent avoiding Emmett Bergman and his documentary camera crew. This week was worse.   
  
On Monday he was injured and Janet was killed. Then they had her memorial service on Wednesday, the investigation with Mr. Woolsey on Thursday, and then he had to endure that relentless documentary director extraordinaire's questions almost all day on Friday morning before Janet's funeral. Oh and let's not forget Tuesday! That was when Carter approached him as he was being released from the infirmary. Man, there was so much that he wanted to say to her, and he sensed that she wanted to tell him some things too. However, they weren't allowed. Regulations made sure of that. Nothing was ever said, and nothing was ever done. But he had hugged her, held her, given her comfort, felt her warmth, sensed her need, and he had never wanted to let her go – but he did – he always did.  
  
This morning he had wanted to get away and relax, grieve, think, and hope. Therefore, he had settled for a nice walk. It had been some time since Jack had taken a nice leisurely walk around his neighborhood and nearby park while the dawn was breaking over the horizon. The walk had done much to awaken him and help him relax. The street was quiet in the early morning until he heard a screeching of tires and looked up from where he was now bending over to pick up the morning paper to see a small car rounding the corner. As Jack straightened up, he was surprised to see Cassie pull up hastily and somewhat haphazardly into his driveway.   
  
He stared at her as she hurriedly exited the car and ran into Jack's arms. Jack winced slightly from the exuberant hug, but he quickly returned it. He could tell that something was bothering her and he wanted to be there for her. Jack thought of Cassie as a type of niece/daughter, and he loved spending time with her when opportunity presented itself.   
  
They stood silently in the driveway for a few minutes while hugging each other. Finally, Jack spoke, "OK kiddo. What's up?"   
  
Through her slowing sobs Cassie asked, "Can I stay with you?"  
  
This question surprised Jack. He knew that she had been staying with Carter this last week. Besides Carter was supposed to become Cassie's guardian should anything ever happen to Janet. So, he wondered what happened to make Cassie want to leave her and come to him.   
  
He pulled away from her and lifted her chin so that he could look into her eyes. "Why?"  
  
Cassie just stared up at him with eyes full of hurt, confusion, anger, and loneliness.  
  
"OK," Jack sighed, "You don't have to tell me right now. How 'bout breakfast?"   
  
Cassie nodded and they turned toward the front door. Jack kept his left arm protectively around Cassie's shoulders as she continued to lean into him and hug him with her right arm around his waist.  
  
As they approached the front door, Jack asked with his childish grin, "So, whatcha gonna' fix me?"   
  
Cassie rolled her eyes, chuckled and smiled, "How about Fruit Loops2?"   
  
"Ex-cel-lent," Jack replied mimicking a character from his favorite cartoon.3   
  
They entered the house and proceeded to the kitchen. Jack retrieved the milk from the refrigerator and the cereal from the cabinet while Cassie got the bowls and spoons. She had been in his house enough times to know where everything was kept.   
  
While growing up, Cassie would often accompany Janet to SG1 functions and barbeques that were held at Jack's house. Jack would also watch Cassie quite a bit especially when she had been younger. He often speculated that Janet was using him for free babysitting as a way of getting even with him since he had given Cassie a dog.   
  
Cassie had grown to love Jack very much. She had stopped calling him "Uncle Jack" a long time ago because if she was honest with herself it was because she really thought of him more as a father figure. He was so wonderful with kids and new how to deal with them. She was so sad when Janet had told her years ago about how Jack's son had died. Cassie wished that she could have known Charlie and hoped that someday Jack could be a father again. She thought that he'd be great.  
  
The two of them sat in the kitchen eating their cereal in total quiet. Jack was busily thinking of various reasons for why Cassie was here. The most obvious reason was that she and Carter had had an argument. Of course, then that brought up the question, 'What were they arguing about? Was Cassie resenting Carter? Was Carter trying to "parent" Cassie?' Jack was still deep in thought when Cassie finally spoke.  
  
"I met him." Cassie said flatly while chasing small pieces of cereal around in her bowl with her spoon.  
  
Slightly unsure, Jack thought, 'Him? Him who?' Then Jack realized who and what she must have meant. "Oh?"   
  
"I can't believe Sam didn't tell me she had a boyfriend? I thought we were close." Then Cassie promptly looked up at Jack not knowing whether or not he knew. "Did you know?"   
  
"Yeah – kind of." Jack placed his spoon in his now empty bowl and looked at Cassie. "I knew that she had started...dating."   
  
"Yeah – well," Cassie said as she added with a slight "humph" on the end. "She's doing more than just DATING." Cassie hurriedly added. "He was standing there with just his pants on!"   
  
Jack was a bit taken back and sucked in a quick breath at Cassie's words. His chest was hurting again, but not from his injury. The information Cassie just conveyed was hitting him as hard as any staff blast. He knew that Sam had gone out on a few dates with this Denver cop, but he didn't know that she had gone that far this quickly with this new guy. Besides, wasn't she the one that insisted in the elevator that day weeks previously, "Well it's not serious or anything." He had been so startled about her even having a date in the first place that he then went overboard like a hurt school boy and tried to be clever. "Oh, Carter it's none of my business. I'm just happy that you're happy about something other than...quarks." As Jack remembered this brief conversation, he knew that any hope he had for him and Sam ever being together was probably never going to come true. After all, he couldn't offer her anything – not now as situations and chain of command stood - and possibly not ever, but he had still hoped. At this moment though, hope was fading fast.   
  
Jack remained silent, but Cassie continued, "He was there this morning when I got up. He acted like it was HIS house." She was quiet for a few moments then continued, "Have you met him?"  
  
Jack nodded assertively and added, "He managed to get himself injured recently while interfering with an Earth bound mission."   
  
"So..., did Mom meet him too?"   
  
"Yeah, she patched him up."  
  
Jack's words surprised Cassie. 'Mom knew and didn't tell me? Maybe she didn't now the details. Maybe she didn't want me to know. Why wouldn't she tell me?' Cassie reflected on this and began to feel hurt and betrayed by both Sam and now her mom.   
  
The two just sat there staring at the table. Neither one knew what to say. Cassie could tell that although Jack admitted to knowing that Sam was dating that he seemed slightly startled by her news. There really wasn't much left to say. The silence drew out for a few more minutes.   
  
"I argued with Sam. I told her that I didn't want to stay with her as long as HE was there. I just grabbed my stuff and left." Cassie was so startled by this morning's confrontation. "Why is she with HIM? She's ruined everything, Jack."   
  
Jack wasn't sure what Cassie meant by "ruined everything," but he couldn't give her a reason for Sam not being with Pete. Sam was a vibrant intelligent beautiful single woman and had every right to pursue whomever she wanted. But, Jack was certainly willing to be there for Cassie if she needed him. However, he chose to ignore her last two statements.   
  
"Well, kid. I'm more than happy to have you here, but we need to let her know where you are. We don't want her worrying or...." Jack was cut off by the phone ringing.  
  
**To Be Continued...**  
  
**Footnotes:  
**2 "Fruit Loops" belong exclusively to Kellogg's corporation.   
  
3 This is referencing a character from the "Simpsons" TV show.   
  
**NOTE:** If you liked it, or if you didn't like it, please let me know. Thanks for reading. 


	4. Part 4

**Author:** GateSeeker2  
  
**Disclaimer:** All necessary information is listed prior to Part 1  
  
**"Waiting for the Dawn" - Part 4**  
  
After watching Cassie drive off down the street, Sam stood on the front porch for a few minutes tightly hugging herself and thinking about what she should do. She could tell that Cassie was driving frantically and prayed that she would make it safely to the Colonel's house. She just knew that was where Cassie was headed. Cassie had clearly implied it with her "what do ya think" comment. Sam decided to wait a while then call the Colonel and check on Cassie. How was she going to handle this situation with Cassie? Cassie looked so hurt and betrayed. How did Janet handle being a parent? Sam would rather be low on ammunition while facing a battalion of Jaffa than face an angry and hurt Cassie again.   
  
Sam knew how it felt to lose a mother. Her mother died when Sam was just thirteen. This was a bond that had always united her and Cassie. Of course, this was the second mom that Cassie had lost at the hands of the Goa'uld: first her biological mom and now her adoptive mom. Sam felt so helpless right now, and she shivered as she remembered the look of betrayal on Cassie's face.   
  
This morning's argument with Cassie and her hurried departure reminded Sam of her own youth. After Sam's mother died, there had been many times when she had seen her brother Mark and her dad argue and go round and round, more often than not about nothing of importance. However, their biggest and ever constant argument always focused on her mother's death. She remembered how Mark had sworn to never forgive her dad for failing to pick their mother up from the airport which had lead to their mom being killed in the taxi cab accident. Mark had felt betrayed by his father's apparent lack of commitment to their mom. It had literally taken years for Mark and her dad to try and heal their relationship, and after many years and some much belated yet concentrated effort on both of their parts as well as some persistent urging from Selmac, it was still a fragile relationship at best. Still, too many of their arguments when she was younger started over petty and inconsequential things. Many times the confrontations simply originated from misunderstandings, but later Mark knew exactly how to push the right buttons to set her dad off. So, what exactly was it that was setting Cassie off?  
  
After pondering this question for a while, Sam soon decided that standing in the crisp Colorado morning air with a wet head and bare feet was a foolish thing to be doing. She turned and walked quietly back into her warm home and headed for the kitchen to make herself a cup of coffee. As Sam approached the kitchen, she was startled to see Pete putting his breakfast dishes in the dishwasher. In the midst of all the chaos and yelling, she had actually forgotten that he was there. She had become so focused on the teenager and her implications that she had forgotten that her boyfriend was in the house. Sam instantly cringed inwardly when she thought the word "boyfriend." She had never really liked that word even as – especially as – a teenager. Now it just seemed pathetic to her, particularly after Cassie kept grilling her about that very subject, but she supposed that was what he was. Besides, she didn't want to call him her lover.  
  
Pete saw Sam come into the kitchen and looked up at her as he was just finishing cleaning up the dishes and cookware, but leaving one plate on the counter top. He had fixed her a plate of bacon, eggs, and toast. He noticed how she was just staring at him now, yet she had seemed to be somewhat surprised when she had entered the kitchen.   
  
"Want some coffee?" Pete asked.   
  
"Uh...Yeah...Thanks." She said as she took the mug that he had just poured for her.  
  
"I fixed you a plate in case you're hungry. You can reheat it in the microwave when you're ready." Sam just nodded in response and Pete continued, "So?"  
  
"So?" Sam replied neutrally. Not wanting to meet Pete's gaze yet, her eyes were fixed on the dark liquid. Sam sat down on one of her bar stools as she began to sip the hot coffee. The mug was warm. Her hands were holding it firmly trying to absorb its heat. She took a few hesitant sips of the dark brew. The coffee was sliding soothingly down her throat as she was closing her eyes. She was reveling in the warmth and relief that she was receiving. It was as if a strong familiar arm was wrapping around her telling her to "come here" and giving her a reassuring hug to share her burden and ease her weary soul. She thought it odd that she was taking more comfort from this cup of coffee than she was willing to allow herself to accept from Pete.   
  
Pete waited a few seconds for Sam to speak and explain what all had just taken place. When she didn't offer any explanation, he wiped the counter top one last time and tossed the kitchen towel down on the counter then began to question her with his acute police skills. "Sam, what was all that about?"   
  
"What do you mean?" Sam thought she'd try the evasive approach first. She knew exactly what he wanted to know, but she wasn't ready to go there yet.   
  
With a sing song insistence, Pete said her name, "Sam. Why was she so upset?"   
  
"Pete. Her mom was just killed."   
  
"Duh! I know THAT Sam. I mean why was she so upset about finding ME here?"  
  
"Well..." Sam was trying to stall, but knew that she couldn't. "I guess she was... just...surprised."  
  
"No, I think there was more than that."  
  
"Pete. I had no idea that you were going to come into town last night. She had already gone to bed, so she didn't expect anyone but her and me to be here this morning. OK?" Sam had started picking at the bacon that was now cooling on the plate.  
  
"No Sam!" He banged his left fist on the counter top thereby startling Sam. "It's NOT OK! Why didn't she know about MEEEEE?" Pete inquired as he drew out the last word while pointing with his right finger towards his chest. He waited a moment then blew out a deep breath. Standing directly opposite Sam with both of his palms now resting flat on the kitchen counter, he continued to press the issue. "And, I don't mean about me coming into town. I'm talking about US seeing each other."   
  
"I'm not in the mood for this Pete. I just..." She went to stand.   
  
"Well, TOO BAD, I am." Persisting, Pete's volume rose, "You didn't tell her about ME did you?"   
  
Sam sighed heavily and placed the reassuring mug down on the counter. She had just had an argument with Cassie, and she didn't want to have another argument just now. Plus, was it just her or did it seem as if she and Pete were having a lot of arguments lately? Looking squarely at him, she said, "Other than SG1 and General Hammond, I hadn't really told ANYONE about you."   
  
Pete was stunned and bewildered and was standing there with his mouth gaping. His ego was feeling a bit bruised. "Why not Sam? Are you ashamed of me? Of our relationship?" His voice was now quickly sounding whining like a small child not getting his way.   
  
"Pete." It came out as a breathy exhausted sigh. Resting her left hand on her cocked hip at the same time while using her right ring finger to lightly scratch between her eye brows, she paused and promptly thought how every time that she said, "Pete," during this conversation his name sounded heavy and debilitating. "Stop OK. This is NOT about you, OR us right now. It's about Cassie." Sam was now standing by the stool and looking at the counter and circling the edge of her coffee mug with her right thumb. "Besides, I just told you," Sam continued, "I didn't know that you were coming into town last night. She was just shocked to see a man that she didn't know in my kitchen."   
  
"Uh huh." Pete nodded, crossed his arms, widened his stance and suspected, "Well, would she have been as shocked if it had been a man she DID know?"  
  
Looking straight at Pete meeting his gaze unwaveringly, Sam spat heatedly, "What is that supposed to mean?"   
  
"Sam, Casey is ..."  
  
"Cassie!" Sam corrected.  
  
"Whatever!" He waved his hands wildly about in the air. "She seemed to make it quite clear that there IS, or WAS, someone ELSE!" Pete questioned as he punctuated the last two words by poking fiercely at the counter three times with his right index finger.   
  
"How dare you!" She snapped quickly throwing her own arms into the air. "I can't believe that you think..." Sam tried to begin but was abruptly interrupted.  
  
"Sam! Is there someone else? Are you just using me?" Pete was getting quite mad now.  
  
"No Pete! I'm not seeing anyone else." Sam was irritated that she would have to defend herself to him. "But, I'm not going to deal with this now. I need to make sure that Cassie is alright." Sam moved away from the bar stool to reach for the phone at the end of the counter when Pete reached across the counter and grabbed her wrist firmly. His action slightly alarmed Sam.  
  
"Would you tell me if there was?" Pete knew that she kept secrets for living. It would be easy for her to keep secrets in her private life too. But, he thought they had already discussed the importance of openness and honesty in a relationship, even though he still hadn't told her about his little FBI assisted back ground check on her that he coincidentally ran the morning after having just been intimate with her for the first time. However, Pete Shanahan was NOT about to be used as a rebound relationship. Although he had been quite excited about surprising Sam last night, she had appeared apprehensive about letting him in to her house – or was it her life? They hadn't really been able to talk much during this last week, but he did know that she had lost a close friend this week while "off world" on a mission. Man, he didn't think he'd ever get used to that phrase – "off world" – even though he now knew exactly what Sam did for a living. He had thought that coming down to visit her would help somehow. He thought that she would want him to be sensitive and help her through her grief. But she seemed distant to his actions. It was apparent that after Sam had explained to him about the teenage girl staying in the house that anything more intimate was out of the question. Nevertheless, Pete wanted to try and be supportive but was disappointed when she had refused to even briefly cuddle last night. For most of the night, she had practically hugged her pillow and her side of the bed clearly not wanting him to touch her. Pete was just glad that she hadn't made him sleep on the couch. That would have just been humiliating. But now, he wondered if she still wanted him, or someone else.   
  
Sam looked momentarily in Pete's eyes before subtlety shaking off Pete's hand. Why was it that Pete seemed to have a problem with trust – trusting her. She was getting tired of this. "Pete. There's nothing to tell." Not now, maybe not ever.   
  
Pete considered himself a good detective. He studied people's behavior and listened carefully to the words they chose to use. He couldn't help but notice that she hadn't really told him, "Yes" or "No." She cleverly avoided any real answer.   
  
Sam picked up the cordless phone and walked into the study as she began dialing the Colonel's number. She shut the sliding doors and waited for the Colonel to answer.   
  
**To Be Continued...**  
  
**NOTE:** If you liked it, or if you didn't like it, please let me know. Thanks for reading. 


	5. Part 5

**Author:** GateSeeker2  
  
**Disclaimer:** All necessary information is listed prior to Part 1  
  
**"Waiting for the Dawn" - Part 5**  
  
Jack and Cassie's conversation over breakfast was interrupted by the phone ringing.   
  
"O'Neill," Jack answered emphatically anticipating who was calling him.  
  
"Colonel. It's Carter. I was calling to see if Cassie's there with you?"   
  
"Yeah – she's here. I was just going to call you." Jack said as he began walking away from Cassie and into the living room. His voice was sounding a bit harsh and edgy.  
  
Sam sighed relieved to know that her suspicions about Cassandra going to the Colonel's house were correct. After a few seconds of silence, Carter proceeded. "Sir, may I speak with her?"   
  
"I don't know Carter. I think she needs time. She was quite upset."  
  
Sam was worried, "Is she OK?"  
  
"Yeah Yeah – she's fine now. We talked."  
  
"Oh?"  
  
"Listen, she wants to stay with me for a few days...," 'if not longer' he thought, "...so given your other house guest, I think it might be for the best." His face was tensing into a quasi grin/smirk as he tried not to sound too callous. He paused briefly then added, "Then you can freely pursue other ACTIVITIES."   
  
Sam could hear the sarcasm in the Colonel's voice especially as he said "house guest." But after all, she did have a house guest. However, she wasn't sure that she was going to let him stay again tonight. And she preferred to ignore his comment about pursuing other "activities." She wondered if she had also heard hurt or disappointment in his voice.   
  
"O...K....," she began hesitantly, "I don't think she packed much. What if I bring some of her things over tomorrow? And...maybe we...can talk then?" Sam was trying to be hopeful. She didn't want this thing with Cassie to get blown out of proportion – at least not anymore than it was already – and continue longer than necessary. Sam instantly thought once again about how her Dad and brother Mark had their falling out after her mother's death and how it took forever to reconcile. Sam loved Cassie and couldn't imagine not having Cassie in her life. She assumed she knew why Cassie acted so taken aback, but Sam was surprised that Cassie seemed so disappointed. They had to talk.   
  
It was quiet on the other end. Jack wasn't sure if Sam meant she and Cassie should talk or he and Sam needed to talk.   
  
"Sir? Are you still there?"  
  
"Yeah – sorry. I guess that'll be OK, Carter."   
  
"What about 1900, Sir? I'll bring dinner?" She asked optimistically.  
  
"Well, you're...," he wasn't sure if he should add, 'you're coming alone right?' So he didn't and his words just hung there.  
  
"Colonel? Was there something you wanted to add?"  
  
"Aahh, no, no nothing."   
  
"Alright." Sam was a bit unsure what to say next, "Colonel, I'm not sure what she told you, but I think she just misinterpreted things." Sam tried to explain herself.   
  
"Listen Carter. I think she was just shocked to see...," he wasn't sure what to call him but finally decided, "...your half dressed BOYFRIEND in your kitchen."   
  
"Sir! Nothing happened last nig..."  
  
Jack was trying to keep a hold on his emotions and decided to keep her from saying too much. "CARTER!" He snapped at her before she could finish her sentence. "You're an adult and can do what you want, but you had a responsibility to Cassie. Besides, I don't really want to hear the sordid details, thank you very much. Your private life is none of my business." 'Unfortunately,' he thought to himself. Jack sighed, "I'm only your CO."   
  
She couldn't believe he had just said that, or what she was about to say. "I thought you were also my friend." She had to remind herself not to add the ever present "Sir" title to the end of her statement. The silence on the line grew.   
  
'What did she want from him?,' he thought. He shuffled about in his living room while running his free hand through his unruly hair, and then he stopped. "I'm trying Carter."  
  
She realized at that moment from the restrained tone of his voice that her dating Pete was hitting him hard – harder than she had expected. She didn't think that dating Pete would matter much to the Colonel. It had been at least three plus years since their awkward admissions to Anise. But what was she supposed to do? How long was she supposed to wait for a love that couldn't ever be? She deserved a life didn't she? Isn't that what her father, albeit a hallucination of her father, had told her?   
  
"Sir?" Carter didn't know what else to say. Both of them had been on an emotional roller coaster for the last few weeks or rather this last year with all of their stresses. First, Daniel returns from being ascended, and then there was the Colonel's clone. Next there was her ordeal on the Prometheus and her resulting concussion with all her stupid hallucinations, and then Daniel's little abduction and rescue in the jungles of Central America, followed by her desperate escape from the super soldier, and now his most recent injury and the loss of Janet. But, this was probably the most either one had said even hinting about their feelings towards one another since the Zatarc testing. "I just wanted to try and have...."  
  
Jack shook his head. They couldn't talk about this. "Don't...Just...Don't." His voice was sounding forced and controlled. This wasn't a conversation that he was going to have on a phone, plus he wasn't sure that now was the right time to "take it out of that room," that room where Carter had suggested leaving all of their deepest feelings and confessions where it "never had to leave." But what if he wanted it to leave? How could she have been "OK" with leaving it there? Admittedly he at first had been relieved by her suggestion, but then he had quickly resented her for it. But he knew that it would have to stay there until she decided to address it again. She was the junior officer, and he wasn't about to put his desires above her career. But evidently it had stayed there so long that it had eventually withered away and no longer existed. After all, it was clear; she had moved on. She must have forgotten or no longer cared about how much he cared for her because she had chosen someone else. She now had Pete. How odd that their forced truths were isolated from their desired reality because they were tucked away safely in a stupid isolation room.  
  
Sam had wanted to say so much to the Colonel, but she absolutely didn't know how or what to say. He obviously didn't want to listen to her. So she waited.   
  
Jack turned around and spotted Cassie standing on the entry way steps leaning against the living room wall – purposefully eavesdropping. He decided to end this phone call. He was definitely back in his Colonel mode now. "OK, Carter. We'll probably just hang out today. See ya tomorrow at 1900. Bring Chinese food." And with those last words, Jack hung-up the phone leaving Carter staring wide eyed.   
  
Jack strode confidently past Cassie and walked back into the kitchen to place the phone back in its cradle.  
  
"Jack, why won't you tell her?" Cassie pleaded.   
  
Jack certainly wasn't going to talk about his love life or lack therefore, with a seventeen soon to turn eighteen year old teenager. Furthermore, he wasn't exactly sure what Cassie was implying, but he had a good idea. After all, she was a smart observant kid.   
  
Walking from the kitchen back into the dining room intentionally avoiding her question, Jack grabbed his jacket off the dining room chair and headed for the door, "Come on; let's get out of here."   
  
**To Be Continued...**  
  
**NOTE:** If you liked it, or if you didn't like it, please let me know. Thanks for reading. 


	6. Part 6

**Author:** GateSeeker2   
  
**Disclaimer:** All necessary information is listed prior to Part 1  
  
**"Waiting for the Dawn" - Part 6  
**  
Sam wasn't too surprised to hear the phone on the other end of the line go dead. She was used to her commanding officer's behavior, and it wasn't the first time he had dismissed her when he was finished speaking. However, it was surprising to hear a second click on the phone line. She didn't even want to think that Pete might have listened in on her extension. Oh well.   
  
Walking slowly back into the kitchen, she noticed that Pete was not there. She freshened up her cup of coffee, took a few sips, and then headed to her room to see if Pete was there. She heard the shower running so she turned and left, closing the bedroom door behind her.   
  
Sam walked into Cassie's room. Managing a small smile, she realized what she had just thought: "Cassie's room." For years, this had just been the spare room. It was a catch-all/guest room and occasionally her dad would stay here when visiting, or sometimes even Cassie would stay here if spending the night during one of their girlie weekends when Sam was able to watch her because Janet was working a weekend shift. Although more often than not, Cassie would weasel her way into Sam's bed where they would talk about their moms, their dreams, school, work, boys and everything else they could think of while giggling and snuggled together like two sisters having a sleep over. But now, after only five days, Sam was referring to it officially as "Cassie's room." Sam sincerely hoped that Cassie and she would work out this obvious disagreement soon so that she would return to "her room." Hopefully that's all that this morning was, a disagreement. It was at the very least a mere misunderstanding. Sam just didn't understand why Cassie reacted so strongly the way that she did.   
  
Proceeding to sit on the edge of the bed while placing her coffee mug on the nearby night stand, she caught site of the various picture frames and loose photos that Cassie had placed on the small bedside table. It was as if a forest of memories had sprung up from the table surface in an effort to dedicate itself to preserving Janet's legacy. Sam instantly recalled how she too had gathered up as many photographs as she could find of her own mother after she had died and placed them near her bed in hopes of always keeping her near. Sam knew that she hadn't mentioned this to Cassie, so she wondered if it was something instinctual that all teenage girls would do when faced with the loss of their mother.   
  
All of Cassie's pictures were of Janet and many seemed to be mainly free formed, non-posed, moments. However, there were a few official shots of Janet in her class A service dress blues or medical attire, but most of the photographs were taken by Cassie who was forever taking shots, as the budding photographer, once she had learned how to use her camera. The pictures were a combination of Janet with various SG1 members as well as Jonas Quinn, General Hammond, Sam's dad, and Cassie that were typically taken during some off-duty gathering. There were even a few of Janet goofing around with some of Cassie's friends. Sam noted how genuinely happy Janet always looked – especially when she was with Cassie.  
  
"I'm so sorry Janet. We should have been protecting you better," Sam said quietly with a heavy heart as she gazed at all the pictures. She could feel the tears welling up in her eyes threatening to fall, but she wasn't going to allow herself to cry just now. Scrunching her eyes tightly closed, she focused more on the situation with Cassie and less on the pain of losing her best friend. After a few seconds, Sam stretched her eyes open wide and blinked numerous times while deeply exhaling. "I don't know if I can do this, Janet."   
  
Sam couldn't help but wonder what it would have been like if she had adopted Cassie instead of Janet. Janet knew that Sam would have loved to have adopted Cassie, but with Sam's more hectic work schedule and dangerous duties, it wasn't plausible. Cassie was only ten or eleven when they rescued her from Hanka, and she needed a more stable type of situation than Sam could provide. Cassie had already been overwhelmed by the events that were rapidly shaping her new life on Earth, and Sam never forgot how small and fragile Cassie had looked then, especially that day when she and Sam where waiting in that nuclear bunker. That moment had forever cemented Sam's love for Cassie.  
  
There were definitely times when Sam was envious of Janet and Cassie's close relationship. Nevertheless, Sam was just glad to be a part of Cassie's life as an honorary aunt and grateful to Janet for always including Sam in Cassie's life without hesitation or jealousy thereby allowing Sam and Cassie to continue forming a deep bond. But for some reason, Sam was beginning to wonder if she had jeopardized this bond by not telling Cassie and Janet about Pete, and the extent of her involvement with him.  
  
It hadn't been too many weeks since she had started seeing Pete. She calculated the days. Surely, it had only been about a month and a half at the most – actually maybe almost three months. 'There was going to be plenty of time to tell everyone about him,' she thought. Of course, Sam wasn't very sure of herself in the dating realm, and she had felt a bit uneasy with the prospect of introducing Pete to her SGC family. She wasn't sure when or if she would even inform her father about him. However, Pete was an old college friend of Mark's, so the last time her dad had visited her for a few days, which coincidentally was just prior to the destruction of the Alpha Site, Mark happily disclosed to her dad over a phone call the entire "Pete and Sam" news. 'That must have been why Dad seemed mad at me that day when he said, 'We never talk anymore, Sam,' she puzzled quietly to herself. Plus, Pete's meeting with SG1 was actually quite unexpected as he had surprised her on their stakeout. Did she want Pete to meet them? Did she want them, him, to meet Pete? And, was she planning on this dating relationship being a long term prospect? Pete had hinted at wanting something more to their dating the first morning after having been intimate, "How can we have a future if you won't share your life with me." Is that what he was hoping for? A future? A life together? Was she willing or wanting to share her "life" with Pete? Was that what she wanted? And, did she even want Pete hanging out with her and SG1 during down time? She quickly shook her head trying to dismiss this question. 'No, I don't think I'm ready for THAT.' She thought to herself.   
  
Dating Pete had definitely surprised even her. She had been so emotionally closed off for the last couple of years – OK more than a couple if she were honest. It had been more like eight or ten years. Sam began reflecting over her past and had just assumed that her emotional unavailability started when she broke the engagement off with Jonas Hansen. Jonas had surprised her with his controlling behavior especially towards the end of their relationship. He had been one of the most serious relationships that she had ever had – and the longest. Back then after the breakup, Sam had decided that she was mainly in love with the idea of being in love, of having someone and not being alone. Was she repeating this with Pete? Looking back now, she didn't think she was ever really in love with Jonas. After they went their separate ways, she closed herself off to men. Yes, she still dated occasionally – just not seriously. She had thrown herself into her work. But, that was easy for Sam. She had thrown herself into her job, or whatever it was that needed to be done, ever since the death of her mother. Oddly enough, she would love keeping her mind occupied with various tasks so that she didn't have to take time and think about her life and how messed up it was. But, Sam could confidently and easily claim that she indeed loved her work. She thrived on it, hungered for it, and felt safe in it. The work years ago at the Pentagon when she had just began work on the Stargate Project was so incredible and challenging. And then she was transferred to the SGC. Weeks, months, and even years had gone by without her having really any dates, but she was too busy and enthralled to have minded. When did she start minding?   
  
Scooting back to the far side of the bed, Sam sat with her back against the wall, crossed her feet under her, hugged a pillow and stared out the large picture frame window as she pondered this last question. When did she start minding? When did she feel as if she was missing out on something? When did she feel as if she needed more? When did she want more than what she currently had? When had she begun to think that she was missing something vital from her life? When had she started feeling alone? Was it just recently as a result of her concussion on the Prometheus and her hallucinatory conversation with her father? She was happy and content prior to that mission, wasn't she? Why of all times had she chosen now to take a chance on a relationship, on a man, on love? Did she even know what it meant to truly love a man? Her mind quickly thought back to what Daniel had told her several years back when he had become addicted to the sarcophagus, "You've never really known what love is have you?" Would she ever be in love? Was she in love with Pete? Did she want to love him? Or, did she want to love someone else?   
  
These questions and many others kept pouring into her mind before any answers had time to formulate. Or perhaps she simply kept thinking of more and more questions so that she didn't have to hear the answers that she knew were simply waiting to be acknowledged.   
  
Sam had lost track of time while sitting in Cassie's room, but she was brought back to reality when a knock was heard from the doorway. Pete was standing there freshly shaved and casually dressed and looking at her. "So, how's the girl?" He asked mainly out of politeness.   
  
"She's fine. She's going to stay there for a few days."   
  
Pete noticed how she didn't mention with whom Cassie was staying. "Who's she staying with?"  
  
Sam looked away, "She's staying at Colonel O'Neill's house. He's like an uncle to her."   
  
"I didn't realize he was so...close," he asked with a questioning tone. Then he added, "...to her."  
  
"Yes, actually, we're ALL close – all of SG1 – much like a family." She wasn't going to go any further. "Hey, how about we go somewhere – the park, the mountains – I just want to get some fresh air." Truthfully, she would have preferred being left alone, but he had made a special trip in to see her and she didn't want to disappoint him. However, now that Cassie was spending possibly the next few days with the Colonel, she would have loved to have gone to her lab to work and throw herself deeply in the middle of some science project and/or alien technology. She only felt truly comfortable in the midst of her science. What was it that Rodney McKay had told her once? "Music... was my salvation. It had this... perfect order for me." Well, science maintained order for her, and right now she craved order. She scooted off the bed and went to her room to put on some socks and shoes. Pete followed her stopping at the door.   
  
"Ok, but maybe we can stop somewhere and talk." Pete suggested.  
  
"About what?" She was striving to sound nonchalant.   
  
"About US." He said it as if it was obvious. "And about you and ...," he waved his hand in the air dispassionately while watching Sam put on her running shoes, "...whoever Cassie seemed to think you're in love with."  
  
Sam couldn't believe he had just said that. She froze, but only briefly. She resumed putting on her shoes, tied them, and then tried to walk past Pete. She wasn't even ready to have this conversation with herself let alone HIM, and she couldn't talk to Pete either. She almost managed to pass Pete when he grasped her upper arm forcefully thereby stopping her exit.   
  
"Sam, I don't want to lose you."  
  
She looked up at him and stared, unsure of what she saw in his eyes: Love? Hurt? Anxiety? Control? Blowing out a slowed controlled breath, she simply gave the faintest of head nods and smiled as best as she could with her lips pressed firmly together. Pete's words and actions continued to surprise her this morning and even sent a slight shudder down her spine. She absolutely had no idea what to say, but she definitely knew that they would have to talk. Turning away from Pete silently, she walked down the entry way to retrieve her denim jacket and purse. Today was going to be a long day.  
  
**To Be Continued...**  
  
**NOTE:** If you liked it, or if you didn't like it, please let me know. Thanks for reading. 


	7. Part 7

**Author:** GateSeeker2

**Disclaimer:** All necessary information is listed prior to Part 1

**Note:** Thanks to everyone who has sent a review my way. I'm really so inspired by all of you who have taken the time to read my story. I hope that you won't be disappointed with the remaining parts. This story is about half way through. It has grown from the original ten parts to twelve. Well, enjoy Part 7 and let me know what you think. Bye!

"**Waiting for the Dawn" - Part 7**

The scenery was passing by the truck's passenger window in a blurry haze. Cassandra merely sat and stared blankly at the dark highway that stretched out in front of them. Jack hadn't told her where he intended on taking her. She had barely convinced him to give her a few minutes to change, out of her pajamas and into her jeans and a descent top that she had brought with her, before they left his house. However, now they were driving north on I-25. She assumed that they were heading to Denver, but she had no idea why.

Jack was focusing intently on the pavement. He just wanted to get away. He didn't want to hang around the house in case Carter decided to just drop by today instead of waiting until tomorrow. So, they were heading away from Colorado Springs.

The truck was filled with silence. Neither one was speaking or seemed to have much intention of speaking. The silence, although increasingly deafening, was also somewhat comforting. The absence of words didn't mean that there was a lack of understanding. Cassie knew that Jack could sit quietly for hours sometimes. He liked to portray himself as a man of few words. However, she also knew that he enjoyed conversing and being around friends. After all, she always knew that he was "way smarter" than he pretended. And, he was currently trying to pretend that he wasn't affected by the news that Cassie had dropped on him earlier. She wanted to talk to him about Sam and her boyfriend, but right now there were a few other things pressing down on her.

"Jack?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for…aah…everything."

Jack took a moment to briefly glance at Cassie, "No problem."

She wasn't sure if he knew to what she was referring. Heck, she didn't know if she knew. "Jack, I mean…I really appreciate you being there…for me… not just this morning…but back then…when you found me…on Hanka…I love you Jack."

"Love you too kiddo." Jack was so thankful to have someone in his life that needed him. He just wished that, looking back, he had been even more involved with her life. He did as much as he could to be a positive role model for her and give her unconditional love and acceptance like an uncle or father would. She had become family to him. Of course, being around Cassie was both soothing and disheartening. In the early days of getting Cassie settled in to life on Earth, he had felt a very prevalent longing for his dead son. He missed Charlie dearly and always would, but having Cassie near was helpful. Children always had a way of soothing a bitter heart. But her innocence and youth was also a constant reminder of the son he had lost. Jack often thought that Charlie and Cassie would have been good friends if circumstances had been different.

"Jack, I just feel so alone now. It was so hard to hear about mom dying. I never thought about HER dying. I mean not in the field; she rarely went on missions. But, you and Sam are on the front lines all the time. Don't get me wrong, I don't want anything to happen to either of you, or Daniel or Teal'C, but …it was just ….I mean…I'm just so…MAD… and it's not…" Cassie was looking down at her hands that were tightly balled into fists and resting on her lap. "…it's not fair!" Once she got her words out, she started to sob and choke back her tears.

Jack reached over and allowed his large warm hand to thoroughly cover her small left fist. He gently squeezed it and said, "I know Cass. But life's not always fair."

Looking fully at Jack, "How do you deal with all the death?"

Jack patted her hand and let out a long sigh, "You just do." He knew that she was needing reassuring and not his standard sarcastic quips, but he wasn't sure what to say. So, he just decided to open his toughened heart and let this child see his love for her. "There's no miracle; there's no quick fix. And time DOESN'T heal all wounds. Death is unfortunately inevitable. Everyone dies, Cass. It just depends on when, where, and how. Life is made up of living AND dying. You do the best you can and live one day at a time. However, you have to keep hoping, especially in the midst of despair. Don't EVER let hope die or try to live without it because if you do, you're as good as dead." As he finished his speech, Jack gave her hand one last pat then returned his hand to the steering wheel. He couldn't help but remember how close he was to losing all hope those many years ago before the first mission to Abydos, and he never wanted to be without even the smallest glimmer of hope ever again.

Cassie didn't know what to say. She just stared in awe at Jack. Those were perhaps the most profound words that she had ever heard Jack utter. Yep, he really was more thoughtful and intelligent than others might suspect. His "dumb Colonel" routine might suit him at work, but this enlightened battle hardened wise man that sat beside her gave her immeasurable comfort directly from his soul and his personal experience. They continued to just sit there for a few more miles in companionable silence.

Finally, Cassie reached over and turned on the radio. She scanned a few radio stations before settling on an older classic rock station. Janet loved the songs from the sixties and seventies, and Cassie had learned those songs early upon her arrival to Earth. Now, these songs gave Cassie untold peace. The two travelers sat, and listened, and sang to song after song. It was a fun time. But, then an old love song started playing, "Solitaire" sung by Karen Carpenter, and Cassie got a bit reflective of the lyrics. She could easily imagine that the song was tailor written for Jack, and she listened quietly while watching him. His face gave nothing away, but she could tell that he was also mulling over the lyrics.

She wondered if he hadn't been wearing his sun glasses would she have seen his eyes become tearful. The song was mirroring the events that happened this morning as well as her brief conversation just now with Jack. When the song was over she knew she had to talk with him.

"Jack?"

"Cass?"

"About this morning…" Cassie began.

"Yeah?"

"I was really mad at Sam. I was just so shocked to find out that she has a boyfriend. I just never expected her to try to date someone other than…I mean…I can't believe she thinks she can be happy with HIM instead of…. She can't love him Jack. Not really, not when she loves…," she was frustrated with her babbling, but she just couldn't bring herself to say all that she truly wanted to say and she didn't know why. So she decided to use a little humor, "And come on, he looks like a goober."

Jack couldn't help but laugh a bit out loud at Cassie's last remarks, and he tried to admonish her– but only slightly. "Cassie, be nice."

"Well, what do you think he looks like?"

Jack thought for a moment. "OK – so he's a goober." They both laughed at that.

Then Cassie got quiet again, "You don't think she's going to stay with him do you?"

Jack was screaming on the inside, 'I so hope not!' There it was again, "hope." Even after three years since the Za'tarc testing, he was still hoping for a chance with Sam. But, he knew that now was just not the right time for them, so he said, "Cassie, Carter needs to live her own life. If he's who she wants…that's her decision."

Cassie couldn't help but notice how Jack's fingers seemed to grip the steering wheel just that little bit tighter with his last words causing his knuckles to begin to pale.

"But Jack, what if someone ELSE wants Sam?" Cassie was beginning to sound a bit like Janet now – wisely inquisitive and prodding. "I mean doesn't HE get a say so – especially when HE loves her." She tried cryptically.

"Cassie, you've dated enough to know it doesn't necessarily work that way." He was thinking that Cassie, even in her young life, had probably dated more than Carter had. Of course, Jack caught himself hoping that it was truly "only" dating. He didn't think he could handle it if Cassie was "active." He was lost in his thoughts when Cassie's voice abruptly caught him off guard.

"Well, it should!" She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply knowing that she needed to say what was on her heart. So she gathered all of her courage and said somewhat loudly, "Jack…I KNOW that you're in love with her!" Cassie kept her eyes closed and cringed slightly with her chin tucked into her shoulders fearing exactly what she didn't know, but just dreading Jack's reaction. When nothing happened, Cassie slowly opened her left eye to glimpse a peek at Jack. He sat stoically. She relaxed her shoulders and turned to look at him fully again. "Did you hear what I said Jack?" Still he said nothing. "Come on Jack, it's obvious to EVERYONE!" He just sat there. "Geez, I guess it's just obvious to everyone BUT the two of you!" She wanted to punch him in the arm or something just to get a response out of him. "Jack! Say something!" But, Jack just continued to sit still and stare blankly at the road ahead. She tried a slightly different tactic. "O…K…, since you're not saying anything….I guess you're not denying it? Right?" Cassie was definitely getting a little perturbed by his avoidance of the subject at hand. She tucked a few stray hairs behind her left ear. "Listen Jack, you might not want to talk to ME about this…after all…I'M just a teenager…what could I POSSIBLY know about love…but you should talk to her – soon – before it's too late." She was so upset. "I don't want you to end up like the song Jack – ALL ALONE." She was amazed how Jack could appear so devoid of emotion right now. "You know, you just might lose her for good!" Cassie kept staring at Jack waiting for some type of reaction. "UUGH!" When nothing happened, she slumped in the seat crossing her arms over her chest and gave the appearance of a child pouting.

A few more miles down the road and Jack still had yet to say anything. "Yeah, well…," Cassie thought she'd try one more time, "…he's all wrong for her. Don't you think so?" Her voice urged, but she wasn't looking at him.

"It doesn't matter what I think, Cassie." He stated flatly. Jack wasn't sure exactly what to say. He was hit hard by her previous words, but he wasn't able to deny them. Everything she had said was true. "I'm her CO, not her dating conscience."

She was so glad that he had finally responded to her urgings. Cassie sat up straight and slightly turned her body to face Jack. "But Jack, can't you talk to her?" She lightly hit the console between them. "I mean, you're still a friend right?" Now she was pleading. "How can you let her date him? Come on! She's making a mistake! Tell her you LOVE her Jack!"

"CASSIE!" He shouted her name so loudly that it startled her causing her to jump closer to the passenger side truck door. She was glad that the door was locked because she had thought that she would have surely launched herself right out the door. Jack tried to now sound calmer but failed, "…I'm in no position to…we can't…it's her mistake…to make." Jack had enough of the teenage inquisition. He knew what Cassie wanted to do, but he couldn't give in to her. He turned up the radio and just continued to stare at the road in front of him.

Even though his voice was laced with anger, or was it anxiety or resentment, it was definitely restrained and tight with emotion. Cassie couldn't believe how well Jack had avoided any kind of answer that even hinted at his true feelings for Sam. Cassie had spent years around the two of them while they interacted. She would watch them appear friendly and almost affectionate towards one another only to then seem aloof and uncaring. And Cassandra had spent long conversations with her mom discussing this unique pair, Air Force regulations, and the lack of their relationship. Cassie felt that if she didn't intervene soon, then no one was going to be happy – including herself.

Their last conversation had ended some minutes ago and Cassie knew not to press her luck anymore today trying to discuss Sam's love life. So, she and Jack just sat quietly, again, listening to the radio. Finally, as they began to enter Denver city limits, Jack asked, "So, Cass, how'd ya feel about seein' a hockey game?" Jack asked with a renewed enthusiasm and a new grin plastered on his face. Their previous conversation pushed far back in his mind.

"Hockey?" She shrugged her shoulders. "Sure. Who's playing?"

"The Avalanche and the Edmonton Oilers." He had printed off the Colorado Avalanche's schedule the day before and decided this morning that there was no time like the present. He just hoped that he could get tickets.

Jack and Cassie managed to steer their conversations for the remainder of the day away from death, Janet, Sam and the goober. Both of them were glad to have today's diversion. They both found themselves able to enjoy the remaining day, as much as possible due to their grief. The day progressed nicely with some sightseeing, a little shopping and of course a hockey game before they returned late to Colorado Springs and the confrontation, or rather conversation, which was scheduled to take place tomorrow.

To Be Continued…

**Footnotes**:

4Sedaka, N. and P. Cody. "Solitaire." Carpenters Love Songs. Compilation Album © 1997. A&M Records, Inc.

**NOTE:** If you liked it, or if you didn't like it, please let me know. Thanks for reading.

Just reiterating, no money was made from the posting of this story. It is purely being posted for enjoyment and pleasure. Only a brief mention of a few specifics lyrics were used. Are rights to the song belong entire to Neil Sedaka. I claim no rights to it, but I highly recommend purchasing the above mentioned album. It's really soothing.


	8. Part 8

**Author:** GateSeeker2  
  
**Disclaimer:** All necessary information is listed prior to Part 1  
  
**"Waiting for the Dawn" - Part 8**  
  
Saturday hadn't been quite what Sam had expected. She had hoped for a nice quiet time alone with Cassie so that they could help each other through their grief. This previous week had been way too stressful and way too busy for either Sam or Cassie to truly spend any quality time together. And, the next few weeks were going to be stressful as well. They would have to start sorting through Janet's house and belongings sooner or later. However, neither Sam nor Cassie was going to be anywhere near emotionally ready to begin that arduous task right now. Besides they hadn't even met with the attorneys to read through Janet's will. No, Sam had just wanted some time to be with Cassie – alone. But after Pete had innocently arrived on her doorstep Friday evening, what she got was a loud confrontation from both Cassie and Pete.   
  
Although Sam had been dating Pete for almost three months – or more specifically ten weeks five days ten hours and twenty minutes, they had not actually spent much time together. There was an occasional weekend here and there, but work schedules for both of them seemed to always be interfering. Even though it only took about an hour and fifteen minutes at most to drive from Colorado Springs to Denver, weekdays didn't allow for much free time either. Both professionals had hectic work schedules. Sam would often work late during the evenings at the base and of course there were standard routine missions off world throughout the week that would often leave her too tired to drive up and back before she had to report for duty bright and early typically at 0700 hours. One day, soon after Pete had fully recovered from his injury resulting from the Osiris incident, she had managed to drive up on a weeknight for dinner with him but then he was called away during their meal on an urgent case with him having to leave just as the entrees were served. He promised to try and return quickly, but he never did and Sam was left to eat dessert all by herself before finally driving back to Colorado Springs. On one occasion she had suggested that they both meet halfway to have dinner, but that suggestion fell on less than exuberant ears. He was emphatic about how during the week he had to stay in close proximity to Denver in case of being needed on a case.   
  
So, she had only been able to get up to Denver once for a full weekend and Pete had only come down to Colorado Springs four times. His third visit was his attempt to surprise her by coming down on a Wednesday evening for dinner and dancing because he had actually had a day off, but the surprise had been on him since unbeknownst to Pete, Colonel O'Neill had given in to his ever persistent archeologist and agreed that staying over night on PCC-046 and bonding with the locals during their banquet celebration would be best for possible future relations. So, this weekend, although Pete's only fourth trip to Colorado Springs was actually his fifth opportunity to really spend any quality time with Sam since their first week together.   
  
Much of their relationship was spent talking on the phone, but even that aspect was limited. It was pretty hard to call Pete when she was working off world, and she had been off world working with her dad on the new weaponry to fight Anubis' super soldiers for about a week and a half prior to the destruction of the Alpha Site. Then she was hunted by that super soldier for another couple of days. So for almost two weeks she hadn't spoken to him. However, he had left numerous messages on her machine. Once she returned safely from her ordeal to the SGC infirmary, she had waited a few more days to call Pete since she wasn't in the mood for him to rush down to see her after she mentioned her injuries. Moreover, she didn't want him to worry about her. Or was it that she just didn't want to hear Pete tell her once again how dangerous he thought her job was. Well, duh, of course her job was dangerous – she was saving the world against some of the vilest and evil creatures humans had ever encountered. Sure it was fine for him to be a cop and often in precarious situations, but somehow Pete just couldn't seem to fathom that Sam was a highly trained and capable combat soldier who knew how to take care of herself.   
  
She knew she could take care of herself but now she would have to be responsible for Cassie too. And yesterday morning's run-in had left Sam feeling apprehensive and uncertain.   
  
But it was Sunday morning now, and Sam was lying on her bunk in her quarters at the SGC. It was early – early even for her. The digital alarm clock's large red numbers were glowing in the dark revealing the time to be 4:05am. She hadn't really been able to have a restful sleep. All during the night, her mind had been busily rethinking the various events that happened yesterday. Remembering these events tugged at her heart and wouldn't allow her to rest. Knowing that she wasn't going to be able to sleep any more tonight, she waited for her alarm to beep and herald the start of another day. She began to think back to her encounter with Pete.   
  
Sam had hoped that since Cassie had fled to the Colonel's house after their altercation that perhaps she and Pete could have been able to get out and salvage the day by enjoying spending time together and perhaps even getting to be acquainted with one another better as friends. She had quickly realized that whenever they had managed to get together that they mainly engaged in "other activities" as the Colonel had insinuated. She wanted to take time to simply converse with Pete in attempts to better know him – like two normal people. What did he want in life? What were his hobbies? Why did he like Starsky and Hutch so much? Did he prefer dogs or cats? What music did he like? What subjects had he enjoyed in college? Nevertheless, Pete had insisted on talking about what had transpired in the kitchen Saturday morning, and so they did. They always seemed to do what he wanted to do when they managed to get together.   
  
Sighing, Sam closed her eyes and viewed the scene in her mind's eye. They left her house and walked across the street to the park. Sam had initially just wanted to get out and clear her head and enjoy the fresh air. But, it was easy to see in Pete's face that he was hoping that since the teenager was staying with the Colonel that he and Sam might have a nice romantic and possibly intimate evening alone, after they had their talk.   
  
While walking through the park, Pete had tried to hold her hand, but she merely shrugged from his grasp only to cross her arms across her chest and close her self off. She didn't know why though. Resisting even his simple attempts at affection, Sam wanted something beyond his physical comfort; she wanted friendship, understanding, and trust.   
  
Neither one knew what to say at first; they walked for several minutes in the uncertain noise of absolute silence. They walked without saying a word. They walked on the park path. They walked side by side. They walked past other couples. They walked without looking at each other. They walked as two people who didn't know one another. They walked as two strangers pretending to be friends instead of merely paramours. The silence separated them further than their mere inches ever could. As they neared the picnic and playground area, Pete chose then to break the calm with what Sam was sure to be a storm of conversation.   
  
"Sam," Pete began a bit urgently with a look of frustration and hope covering his face, "I want to talk."  
  
"OK, ...so talk." Sam's voice held a twinge of animosity.   
  
Pete gestured for her to sit down. Sam decided to sit on top of the concrete picnic table with her feet resting on the bench because she wanted to still maintain an eye level connection. She was not going to be talked down to today. Sam bent forward slightly with her forearms propped on her thighs and the fingers of each hand woven together in a tight fist. She looked straight ahead, almost through Pete, trying to avoid his now stern gaze. She was dreading this conversation knowing that it would probably turn into yet another confrontation. 'Why is this relationship becoming so hard? Do I really want to put in so much work? Is this what I want?' Sam silently asked herself.   
  
Pete was slowly beginning to pace back and forth in front of Sam trying to think of just what he wanted to say. She noticed that he ran his hand through his hair at the back of his head in apparent annoyance. It was a gesture she had seen someone else use several times. Sam knew Pete was upset with her, but she wasn't about to help him. 'He wants to talk...,' she thought, '...then I'll let him go first.'   
  
With his back to her, he said, "Sam...listen...I'm sorry...I'm sorry that I showed up on your doorstep last night...unexpected." Pete paused and turned to Sam, "I probably should have called first...but...I was only trying to surprise you and be able to be there to comfort you." His eyes were gazing intently into Sam's. "I CARE about you SO much. You're the best thing to happen to me in such a long time. I just thought you might...be depressed and might need me - want me – to...."  
  
Sam was startled to say the least. This wasn't exactly what she was expecting. Pete's voice sounded so sweet and gentle and sincere. She was beginning to get lost in her own musings when she realized that she had missed some of his last words as he had continued talking.  
  
"...it's just that that girl seemed so upset when she saw me in your kitchen this morning. I was hurt...I mean I'm really falling for you Sam...HARD...I couldn't help but think that maybe you were...ashamed of me...or worse...wanting to break up." Pete stopped and just looked at Sam, waiting.  
  
After a few moments, Sam said genuinely, "Pete, I don't WANT to break up. And, I care about you too, but you have to understand that I haven't been in a serious relationship, ...let alone a physical relationship, with anyone in a really long time. It's just...it's just a bit overwhelming...sometimes. And with all that has happened lately...," her mind flashed to her injury at the hand of the super soldier and the departure of her father before continuing, "...especially with losing Janet and almost losing...," Sam's voice suddenly hitched with overwhelming emotion that surprised her, "the Colonel...." Her words trailed off quietly as her eyes started to quickly water. She hated to think about how close she had come to losing him – again.   
  
Pete immediately saw how emotional Sam became when she uttered, "the Colonel." He knew she had a special and unique relationship with "her team." But he was now becoming increasingly concerned that perhaps there might be something else. 'Is this who the girl was implying?' Pete asked himself. But his first thought was that the Colonel was way too old for Sam. Surely she didn't think of him romantically. Plus, what could they possibly have in common – besides work? However, the Colonel and Sam's conversation earlier that morning on the phone had sounded stressed and guarded, as if attempting to hide something. He scrutinized her, although swiftly, wondering if he shouldn't have his friend, FBI Special Agent Dan Ferretty, check on a certain Colonel Jack O'Neill too.   
  
Pete approached Sam and put his hands gently on her shoulders trying to console her. "It's OK Sam. Hey, I'm not all that great with relationships either. Remember, I've already been divorced once." Pete searched Sam's eyes briefly for something, but he couldn't quite read what she was feeling. "But, I want this...I want us...to work."   
  
Sam could only look up into his soft brown eyes and nod slightly. Pete took a step into Sam's personal space and gently, but quickly, kissed her parted lips.   
  
"However...," Pete withdrew, lowered his hands and continued, "...I can't help but WONDER what was irritating her so much."   
  
Sam tried to answer, "I think she was just startled is all. She certainly wasn't expecting you to be there and..."  
  
Pete cut her off abruptly as his finger was now pointing at her face, "Exactly Sam! She wasn't expecting it!" He proceeded to emphasize his viewpoint by counting down on his fingers as each point got louder and louder. "I can understand her being slightly surprised at meeting someone she didn't know. I can understand her being upset if she thought that I was going to interrupt your girl bonding time. I can even understand why you might not have told her about me, YET. And I can certainly understand her being emotional because of just losing her mother." He paused to emphasize his position, "BUT...she was MAD...mad at you...because YOU had a boyfriend." He was staring now as if she were a criminal that he was interrogating. "Sam, she obviously kept referring to someone else...someone else that YOU'RE supposedly in love with."   
  
Sam was amazed how quickly his mood seemed to shift. "Pete, she didn't. I'm NOT seeing anyone else and..."   
  
Once again he noticed it was more what she didn't say than what she did say. She hadn't denied being in love with someone else. "But do you WANT to see someone else?" This time his voice was definitely accusatory.  
  
Was he accusing her of cheating on him? She was dumbfounded. Her eyebrows were scrunched in a deep frown as she blinked repeatedly and her mouth was poised as if to say something, but nothing was coming out. She could only replay his last words in her head, "Do you WANT to see someone else?" Did she? If she were truly honest with herself, did she? Would she if she could? Sam quickly shook her head in order to stop that line of thinking. She couldn't allow herself to get caught up in something that couldn't happen – or more specifically wasn't allowed to happen. All she could do was respond similarly and utter those same words.  
  
Exasperated and unbelieving, she slowly said, "Do I WANT to see...?"  
  
"Yeah Sam, do you? Is there someone else?" He was now shaking his head, shrugging his shoulders and waiving his hands in the air. "Maybe your feelings for me aren't as deep as mine." Pete was determined to find out if she truly wanted him. "Are you just using me...until...until you can be with someone else?" Pete's voice went back and forth from sounding soft and hurt to sounding argumentative and forceful. "Tell me Sam. Who was Cassie talking about?" He had all but yelled the last question.   
  
Now this was definitely more along the conversation that Sam had been expecting. Their conversation continued to get more heated. Pete had persistently inquired about the "someone else" that Cassie had alluded to earlier, and questioned whether or not Sam was serious about a relationship with him. He seemed fixated on this one issue. Sam grew weary of his accusations, and her attempts to constantly reassure him of her "faithfulness" were a bit taxing as well. She couldn't believe how needy and clinging Pete was appearing to her. Didn't he trust her? She trusted him. Why couldn't he take her at her word? She was an honorable person, woman, and officer. There was no one else. There couldn't be anyone else. OK, even if there was someone else, Sam was kidding herself to think that something could ever happen. And if it did, she would be up front about it.   
  
Nevertheless, she had decided to commit herself to this relationship with Pete, to take a chance, to make this work, to have someone, obtainable, in her life. She had decided to be willing to risk getting hurt in hopes of being happy and having a somewhat normal life – a life outside of the SGC. Well, she took a chance and this was what she was getting.  
  
They must have talked, or rather argued, for a couple of hours without truly resolving anything. Finally, Sam suggested to Pete that it would probably be best if he returned to Denver in order to give them some time to cool off and sort through their feelings separately. This of course didn't set well with him. He had insisted that they already spent way too much time apart. Sam was about to suggest another direction for their topic of discussion when Sam had received a page from the SGC. Her knowledge and skills were needed immediately. For her, this escape was a blessing, but for Pete it was just another interfering nuisance. He resented that she had to leave for work right in the middle of their conversation, but Sam tried to politely inform him that he didn't seem to hesitate when he was paged and had to rush off because of his work obligations. She tried to be polite, really, but it came out all too sarcastically and too reminiscent of a hardened Colonel. Pete was a bit surprised by her harsh language and her apparent ease with which she wielded her sharp tongue. He hadn't ever seen this side of Sam, and he was fairly certain that he didn't like it.  
  
By now Sam had had enough. If Pete couldn't see how much Sam was trying, then nothing she could say further today would persuade him. She started walking back to her house quite hurriedly, not really caring if Pete was following or not. They reached her house together and Sam told Pete that he could either stay and wait for her or leave. She mentioned to him that she would try to be back as soon as she could or at the very least call him later about her status, but without knowing the reason behind the page she couldn't really promise anything. Sam reminded him to lock the door behind him if he chose to leave, and with that, she departed for the SGC and left Pete standing flabbergasted in the hallway.   
  
Once at the SGC, she knew that the emergency with the cold dialing computer program wasn't going to take too long to rectify. Initially Sam was somewhat irritated because Lieutenant Graham Simmons was on duty and should have known how to trouble shoot and correct the problem. 'How was he ever going to make Captain?' She mused to herself.   
  
Sam really didn't mind the opportunity to distance herself from Pete. Even though they didn't get to see each other that much, she just didn't want to see him any more today. So, once she had finished sorting out the problem glitch in the software, checking through other programs, showing Simmons how he should have initiated and run the program, and testing it a few times, she glanced at her watch. She arrived at the base around noon and it was... she sighed and stared at her watch...it was only 1630 hours. 'Great. What now?'  
  
She decided to go to the commissary and grab a bite to eat since she hadn't eaten any breakfast and worked right through lunch. She would have liked to have eaten with Teal'C, but he was staying at Daniel's house this weekend in order to offer support and friendship. After eating, she went to her lab, her refuge, her solace, her companion, her safe bet. She just couldn't bring herself to return home. So, she decided to stretch the truth.   
  
"Hello?"   
  
"Hi Pete, it's me."  
  
"Great, when are you coming back? I was thinking that we could go grab some dinner and have a nice relaxed and romantic evening." Pete sounded so sweet and pleasant again. How did he do that? How was it that it seemed as if he could just overlook their earlier heated disagreement? He was certainly waffling back and forth. She much preferred it when someone stuck with one emotion at a time. For instance, when the Colonel was mad, he stayed mad until the situation was rectified.   
  
"Actually...," she hesitated somewhat, "...it looks as if I'm going to need to stay on base tonight and continue with what I'm doing...."  
  
"Sam, come on! How do you expect us to have a relationship if we never get to spend any time together?" Pete was sounding agitated once again. Besides, he had spent five hours by himself in her house channel surfing and raiding her already sparse refrigerator. He was bored!  
  
"Pete, I'm sorry. I need to stay." Right, she needed to stay where she felt safe, where she could think, where she didn't have to work so hard on a relationship that she was beginning to wonder whether or not was worth it. "Listen, feel free to stay at the house tonight...."  
  
"What's the point?" He sounded like a pouting child.   
  
She really didn't want to, but she felt herself give in, "Well, I may finish up tomorrow morning and we can talk then. Maybe grab brunch or something." She hated how she sounded – way too sweet and compliant.   
  
There was silence on the other end of the phone.   
  
"Well, OK. I'll stay." Pete sounded quite defeated now. "Sam, I was really hoping we could... you know... " His insinuation was quite clear.  
  
She cut him off, "Yeah, well, listen I need to go. I'll call you in the morning, Pete. Bye." And she hung up.   
  
She stayed at the base working on some varied experiments and projects, which she didn't have time to finish this week due to everything else that was going on, as well as catching up on some paperwork for both her and the Colonel until well into the evening before dragging herself off to her quarters where she was now laying.   
  
BEEP!! BEEP!! BEEP!! BEEP!! BEEP!! BEEP!!  
  
Finally! The alarm sounded – 6:00am. It was time to start this new day. She turned off the alarm and sat up on the edge of the bunk. She really dreaded today, but she didn't know what she dreaded more. She actually dreaded seeing Pete this morning fearing that he would merely rehash the argument from yesterday, and she didn't want to be romantic with him today either. She also dreaded being alone with Pete in her house, mainly because of the proximity to the bedroom. She knew that he would never force himself on her, but she would just hate to "bust his bubble." Perhaps she would just arrange to meet him at that new French café by the mall. That way she could merely avoid any possible suggestions about intimacy.   
  
She dreaded seeing the Colonel this evening at his house because of what he might now know about her situation with Pete since having talked with Cassie. Besides, she wasn't prepared for him to know the details of her dating life. She also dreaded meeting with Cassie because she didn't know what to say or where to begin.   
  
Sam would give anything to be able to talk to her mom right now about how to deal with, communicate with, Cassie. Sam wished now more than ever that she had had the benefit of having a mother during her own teenager years. She lacked knowledge of any first hand experience. Groaning slightly to herself knowing that although she would love for her dad to be here right now that her dad would have little to offer in way of support or advice for how to deal with a teenager girl. In her mind, part of her wouldn't ever forget how lonely and neglected she had felt when trying to survive her own mother's death. She knew that her father was hurting too all those years ago, but her dad hadn't been there for her, and most importantly in Sam's opinion, he hadn't even seemed to try.  
  
"Oh, Janet, if only you were here to help me through this!" Sam called out to her vacant base quarters then exhaled a combined sigh/chuckle faintly as she realized what she had just said. She brought her palms up to her face and rubbed her eyes with her fingers trying to remove the sleep that wasn't there. How ironic, if Janet was here, then Sam wouldn't have to face Cassie now. Of course, Cassie seemed oddly more distraught over finding Pete in her kitchen than having lost Janet. But this couldn't be right, could it? Sam felt so drained and more than just a little apprehensive with today's prospects.  
  
"Well, can't delay the inevitable." Sam chided herself as she ran her fingers vigorously through her blonde hair then she readied herself for another day. She would shower, eat breakfast, call Pete and schedule to meet him for lunch not brunch, put in a few more hours of work, meet Pete and hopefully have a nice afternoon, run by her house and pack up some of Cassie's things from her room, and then pick up the promised Chinese food to take over to the Colonel's house for dinner, and finally she would talk with Cassie. "At least my life is never routine," she said to her herself as she headed out the door.   
  
**To Be Continued...**  
  
**NOTE:** If you liked it, or if you didn't like it, please let me know. Thanks for reading. 


	9. Part 9

**Author:** GateSeeker2  
  
**Disclaimer:** All necessary information is listed prior to Part 1  
  
**NOTE:** Ok – I'll let you in on a little secret. This part was a complete after thought. After rereading Part 8 and the original Part 9, it seemed to be lacking something. So, I went back to the drawing board and wrote this insertion piece. I got to wondering about a few things and decided that this would be an interesting direction to go. Let me know what you think.   
  
**"Waiting for the Dawn" - Part 9**  
  
Pete Shanahan had been less than ecstatic to find out that his girlfriend would not be returning home Saturday evening. His hopes for a romantic weekend were now looking like a complete bust. He was truly resenting her work. After hanging up the phone from their short conversation and pacing around her kitchen for a few minutes, he grabbed his cell phone and called a friend of his.   
  
"Ferretty." The voice stated plainly.  
  
"Hey Dan. It's Pete."   
  
"Hey Hey 'ol Buddy what's up?"   
  
"Listen, I know that it's Saturday and all but I really need a favor."  
  
Dan was dreading this phone call already. "Pete, there's nothing else to look for on your Major I already..."   
  
"No not that. It's related but different."  
  
"Oh, Ok. What do you need?" Ferretty wasn't sure if he was up to this.   
  
"I need a background check on someone else – an Air Force Colonel – Jack O'Neill. Just like before. Top down, global agency search, the works – but even more detailed! I want to know him better than he knows himself." Pete was sounding a bit on edge.   
  
Dan was getting a little leery. "Pete what's this really about? Why are you so interested in Air Force officers all of a sudden?"  
  
"I told you before. I'm just working a case and this...well... is a new wrinkle in a very long and important case." Pete tried to keep it sounding official.   
  
There was silence on the other end of the cell phone.   
  
"Dan? You still there man?" Pete asked.  
  
"Yeah, I'm here," he sighed heavily. "Just tell me Pete...why do I even try to help you?" You could hear the slight humor in his voice.  
  
"Because I'm the only friend you've got," Pete's voice was teasing, "and because you owe me - big time! Remember?" Pete said with more than a suggestion.   
  
"Alright. Alright. But listen it's Saturday afternoon. I can't run anything until Monday morning...." Dan was abruptly cut off.  
  
"No! Listen Dan. I need that info pronto – got it?! It's crucial." Pete tried hard to stay calm. He wanted to find out as much as he could about O'Neill before he met with Sam tomorrow morning for brunch.   
  
"Fine. I'll drop by the office now. Give me a couple of hours and I'll try to get back to you." Dan resigned.  
  
"Great! You're a true friend Dan. Thanks." Pete hung up and thought about what he needed to do now.   
  
He saw the phone book in the nearby bookcase and decided to see if O'Neill was listed. Placing the open phone book on the kitchen counter, he turned to the "O" section. Sure enough he found him or rather he found a couple of Jack O'Neills. However, there was no one with a title listed. Since he didn't know which listing, if any for that matter, was his, he made a quick call to the Department of Motor Vehicles and using his connections there was quickly able to find out the appropriate address for a Colonel Jonathan O'Neill. He copied the address and phone number down and realized that it didn't match any of the phone book listings. Then he headed out the door which he made sure to lock according to Sam's urging earlier. Even though he didn't have a key, he wouldn't have a problem getting in again. He was after all a resourceful cop.  
  
Within twenty minutes he arrived cautiously at O'Neill's house. He pulled up to the curb a few houses away from the house. The house looked empty, no lights were on, but there was a small hatch back vehicle in the driveway. Pete remembered seeing this vehicle in Sam's driveway last night, so it must belong to the girl. He sat there for a few minutes observing the house, but, since it was a Saturday afternoon, there were way too many people out on the street. Many were engrossed in their lawn maintenance, several other people were busy assisting a resident who appeared to be moving in a few houses down from O'Neill's, and there were a few kids that started to ride back and forth past his SUV several times on their bicycles. Since he didn't want to draw attention to himself, he decided to drive off to the convenience store that he had seen earlier around the corner.   
  
Once he arrived at the store, he prayed that there was an old fashioned pay phone. He didn't want his cell phone number to appear on a possible caller ID. He went in to the store and purchased an extra large fountain soda, some chips and cookies, and a really nasty frozen burrito stuffed with who knows what. After heating the burrito in the microwave, he paid his bill and asked the clerk nonchalantly about a pay phone. Pete was told to look around the corner. Back by the edge of the store near the gas pumps was a phone. Pete took out the number and dialed the Colonel's phone.  
  
The machine picked up, and Pete heard a voice plainly say, "O'Neill. Leave a message." Yep, this was definitely the right house. He remembered that voice from his brief encounter with him that day in the SGC infirmary after he had been injured. Pete remembered that the Colonel didn't seem to be very happy to meet him. And, at the time Pete thought it odd that this guy was trying to act all big and tough. It wasn't that Pete was afraid of this Colonel, but he felt unsure of him. Pete knew then that he would have to find out more about him - later. However, as Pete started spending more time with Sam, she had started to reveal more about herself and her unusual working relationship with her team, and Pete had felt more at ease knowing some more details about her private life. So, he hadn't really given the Colonel another thought. But, now something in the tone and abruptness of the message made Pete wonder if perhaps this Colonel didn't have lots to hide. It was definitely "later" now.   
  
Obviously Pete didn't leave a message. He hung up the phone, gathered his food and drink and headed back to his vehicle. He decided that it wouldn't be prudent to just sit outside of O'Neill's house in broad daylight, so Pete drove around the neighborhood taking in the lay of the land while eating his junk food. There was no alley way with which to access his backyard. Trees and shrubs were surrounding his property but not so that they would obstruct someone's view of the doors and windows for safety purposes. It looked like there was a type of roof top deck towards the back of the house with a railing that could barely be seen from the far right side of the house. There was a ladder also visible on the right side of the house that obviously stretched up to the deck. There was a nearby running trail that evidently snaked its way through a nearby park about a half a block or so away from the end of his street. The parking lot of the park gave a clear view of the Colonel's driveway. Pete was planning on coming back later this evening once it was dark and sit unnoticed while using his binoculars to keep watch on his house.   
  
It had been about an hour and a half since Pete had talked to his FBI friend. Pete figured he would give him another hour before he called him to see if he had made any progress. Pete decided that he would go to the mall and do some shopping, maybe even pick up something nice for Sam like some lotion or perfume as a token gesture to make up from their earlier heated argument. Besides he had an afternoon to kill until it was dark.   
  
An hour later he was strolling through a bath shop at the mall when his cell phone started ringing.   
  
"Shanahan." He said as he smelled the tester bottle of lotion before wincing at the odor and setting it down.   
  
"Man. What have you gotten yourself into?" Dan's voice was sounding rushed.  
  
"What? What did you find out?" Pete walked to the store's entrance and then proceeded to the center walkway of the two story mall in order to continue the call.   
  
"Nothing. Absolutely nothing!" Dan was emphatic.  
  
"That can't be right..."  
  
"Listen, I checked every system I could. Apart from his address, phone, DMV info, social security number, his last recent tax returns, and working at NORAD with your Major, there's nothing on this guy."  
  
"Come on Dan. There's something on everyone. Besides he's a Colonel, he's got to have been around for awhile." Pete was a bit surprised that his friend's search had turned up empty.   
  
"OK – yeah – the basics – Jonathan "Jack" O'Neill – Colonel in the Air Force - married – divorced and oh yeah his kid killed himself accidentally with a hand gun a few years back – but that's it."   
  
"So he's been scrubbed too?"  
  
"Not only scrubbed my man, but it's like he's been erased – completely." Dan was amazed.   
  
"O...K...," Pete started slowly trying to wrap his mind around these developments. He turned to the railing and leaned over it bracing his left forearm and right elbow. He looked down at the first floor of the mall from the second story perch. "...so he's black ops too probably? And the government only wants us to see the highlights of..." Pete was cut off.  
  
"No, you don't get it. There are NO highlights. Nothing! Not since the Kennedy files has something been locked away so tight. The government doesn't want you to see ANYTHING about him. I'd watch him carefully. Better yet, stay away unless you really have to." Dan cautioned his friend.   
  
"Oh come on Dan! You're exaggerating! He was more than visible last year when he was suspected of shooting that Senator what's his name - Kinsey. He was even on the TV shaking his hand! If they really wanted to keep him a secret, THAT wouldn't have happened." Pete had remembered watching that special newscast. He was interested in and agreed with some of the Senator's views and thought he might make a good President. But he hadn't put the connection together that it was the same Colonel until just now.   
  
"See there! There wasn't even a mention about him and the Senator. Pete, he certainly has a BURIED past and his present doesn't seem to be seeing daylight either if you know what I mean."   
  
Straightening up Pete asked, "Yeah, well...thanks anyway...hey...keep on it will you – just in case."  
  
"Sure, but I don't really see any reason. Plus, I'm not sure that my tracks were covered very well during this search." He was apprehensive.  
  
"What are you saying? Were you flagged or something?" He knew that Dan was a great computer operator and could get around most computer system security measures. That was one reason why Pete often used him as a contact.   
  
"No, no, I think I went undetected," he tried to reassure his cop friend, "but there was this one file that briefly popped up with the letters NID before quickly being halted. I'm not familiar with that designation, but I have a bad feeling Pete."  
  
What was going on? Pete knew all about the Stargate Program now – or at least the basics, so he understood about the secrecy around O'Neill's files. But the depth of the secrecy was surprising. He had hoped to gather a little bit of information. Pete didn't know exactly what he was hoping for, but he knew so very little about him. Sam rarely spoke about him, and when she did she would almost sound protective and prideful of him. There was definitely something about this Colonel that bothered Pete. Now that he found out that this was a man with an incredibly secret past, he was wondering what kind of man this Jack O'Neill was and whether or not it was good for Sam to be around him. To Pete, it smelled bad. "Don't worry Dan. Everything's going to be fine."   
  
Pete was about to hang up when he thought of one last thing. "Dan, you said he had an ex-wife. What's her name and address?"  
  
Detective Pete Shanahan had learned years ago on his very first case as a rookie detective to be thorough, even if the supposed lead turned up nothing. After jotting down Sara's name and address and asking Dan to run a check on her too – just in case. He hung up from Dan and continued his shopping to find a little something special for Sam.  
  
After purchasing a nice over the top gift wrapped bath set complete with bubble bath, bath oils, bath salts, body splash, lotion, loofas and candles for Sam, he drove over to her house. He wanted to just leave it by her tub with a note to surprise her when she returned home from work. He jotted off a quick note: "Sam, you work too hard – so I thought you needed something to keep you soft. Love Pete. PS sorry for the argument in park, maybe this can help soothe things over."   
  
Pete left Sam's house and proceeded to Mrs. O'Neill's house before heading back to Colonel O'Neill's neighborhood for the evening. He hadn't seen anything unusual at Mrs. O'Neill's house and he had been watching it for about thirty minutes. There was an old yellow Mustang in the drive way that had seen better days. But, the house appeared normal and no one seemed to be home although there were a few lights on in what he thought could be the living room. However, just as Pete was about to leave, he noticed a red sports car pull up in the driveway. A well dressed man in a black suit with dark black wavy hair got out and walked up to the door and knocked. Pete figured him for some sort of professional businessman. A few moments later, an attractive woman exited the house. Pete couldn't tell her age from where he was parked, but he noticed that she was tall and lanky with darker blonde hair. She definitely had a nice figure, and the dress she wore accentuated her body nicely; it flowed freely as she walked. Pete decided that she was obviously on a date and that the ex Mrs. O'Neill would need no further observation.   
  
The sun had set about two hours ago; it was now 9:30pm, and so far Pete had yet to see O'Neill return to his house or any other activity occur around his residence. Pete's vehicle was situated in the park's parking lot somewhat behind several large Pine trees. He was sure that no one would notice him from his lookout position.   
  
Being used to stakeouts and the endless nothingness that would often continue for hours, Pete attempted amuse himself by passing the time reviewing the reasons why this Colonel was bothering him. Well, for starters, he really hadn't spent any time around this Jack O'Neill – other than that day in the infirmary, so he was always a bit hesitant of people he didn't know – must be from his suspicious cop nature. Next, according to Sam, she had seen the Colonel almost every day for close to seven years while working side by side as his second-in-command, whereas Pete had only been seeing Sam for about three months and it was sporadic at best. He never considered himself the jealous type and didn't think that Sam was the cheating type, especially not with her commanding officer. She was too by the book to pursue something like that. Besides, Pete knew that he was an OK looking fairly cute guy, more so than O'Neill he thought, and could turn a few heads, and he knew that Sam appreciated his looks. Plus, he had this deep down feeling that although the Colonel saw Sam everyday that he had never seen as much of her as Pete had; he grinned brightly at that thought. However, there was still something nagging Pete about this Colonel.   
  
Sometime later as Pete was lost in a slightly different thought, his mind replayed the encounter with that girl early this morning. That teenager was adamant that Sam could not possibly be happy in a relationship with Pete. The girl was both surprised and hurt. She clearly implied that she knew Sam was in love with someone else, but when he had confronted Sam on it, she had denied it emphatically. Perhaps she denied it a bit too much?  
  
Pete continued his review of the facts. Ok, Sam rarely talked about Colonel O'Neill, but then again she didn't really talk much about any of the people with whom she worked – at least not specifics. The few times she had mentioned Jack O'Neill it was with an almost awe-like reverence that Pete didn't really seem to understand. For some reason, Pete knew that she had a great deal of respect for this man. But to Pete, Jack O'Neill had just seemed like a goofy dimwitted old guy who seemed unlikely to be a Colonel. Plus, Pete thought that he could probably easily take him down if necessary. However, Pete was getting more and more unsettled thinking about him and what sort of influence he had over Sam. He remembered how emotional Sam had been in the park earlier today when she had mentioned almost losing the Colonel. At the time, Pete had thought her just overly emotional from the stress of loosing her best friend and now having to care for her daughter. But, now he was wondering just how deeply she cared for this aging Air Force Colonel. What was the true nature of their relationship? Her words and actions definitely spoke more than mere superficial or familiar affiliation.   
  
As stakeouts went, this was right up there with the top ten most boring. He had given up on analyzing his reasons for being suspicious of the Colonel some time ago and decided that nourishment was badly needed. Pete left his secluded area around 10:30pm for a brief pit-stop and a fast food burger and a large coffee.   
  
Now it was almost 1:00am and Pete was having a hard time staying alert. However, as he had just decided to call off his stakeout and return to Sam's house, he noticed a large dark extended cab truck pulling into O'Neill's driveway. Colonel O'Neill and the teenage girl quickly exited the vehicle and proceeded inside.   
  
What was Pete hoping to see? Or rather, who was he hoping not to see? For the briefest of moments, he had wondered if Sam was truly at work or had been somewhere else, with someone else. He shook off his last thought and decided to return to Sam's house. After all he was going to have brunch with Sam tomorrow and he wanted to be well rested for whatever might occur.   
  
Well, Sunday, like Saturday, was a complete waste of time for so many reasons. First Sam called early and told him to meet her for lunch instead of brunch, so he was left to amuse himself once again in her house. Second, Sam insisted on simply meeting him at a nearby café. She didn't even want to return to her house first. Pete felt very uncomfortable with Sam's actions. It was as if she was trying to not be alone with him. However, he decided to make the most of the remaining afternoon that he had with Sam, even if they couldn't being doing what he had wanted. Third, they spent the afternoon shopping in the nearby mall. Shopping at the mall wasn't exactly an activity that he enjoyed, and he definitely didn't like shopping two days in a row. But the longer they were together in the relaxed atmosphere, she was becoming more amiable and not nearly as closed off or defensive as yesterday. Yet, she still didn't seem to want to hold hands or have any type of overt public display of affection.   
  
It wasn't the best day that he had ever spent with Sam, but it had started turning into a semi-pleasant afternoon. Or at least it was until around 5:00pm when she explained that she needed to go so that she could retrieve some of the girl's things from her house before heading over to the Colonel's house for dinner. Pete was surprised and more than peeved to think that she was blowing him off to go spend time with HIM – oh yeah, and the girl. But, he hid his dissatisfaction well, even though he had asked her about accompanying her to the Colonel's house. Sam seemed a bit surprised by his suggestion and quickly pointed out that it probably wasn't the best time for him to socialize with Cassie. Pete made a big show of agreeing with Sam that she needed to try and square things with this teenager without his intrusion.  
  
Pete then informed Sam that he had left his overnight bag at her house. So, after following her home from the mall, he retrieved his things and proceeded to give her what he thought was a fairly heated good-bye kiss before leaving. Sam was hesitant and tentative as they stood in her entry way kissing. After dating Sam for three months, he knew what her kisses were like, and he could tell that these kisses were fairly passion free – almost distant and cordial - a complete opposite from the first kisses that they had shared in this same hallway months ago.   
  
They finally parted and made plans for him to return next weekend so that he could get to know Cassie. Sam had promised him that she would try to get Cassie to open up and be more accepting of him and hopefully the three of them could have a better weekend.   
  
Sam told Pete to have a safe drive back to Denver. But, Denver was not where Pete was headed. No, he was going back to a certain park in a certain Colorado Springs neighborhood to watch a certain house.   
  
**To Be Continued...**  
  
**NOTE:** If you liked it, or if you didn't like it, please let me know. Thanks for reading. 


	10. Part 10

**Author:** GateSeeker2  
  
**Disclaimer:** All necessary information is listed prior to Part 1  
  
**"Waiting for the Dawn" - Part 10**  
  
DING DONG!! KNOCK KNOCKETY KNOCK KNOCK pause KNOCK KNOCK  
  
Jack O'Neill was lying on his sofa watching a hockey game while Cassie was sprawled out on the living room floor rug leafing through one of his astronomy books when they heard the familiar knocking on his door. Glancing at the clock on the mantle, he thought, 'She's nothing if not punctual.' It was 1900 hours on the dot. He got up and walked over to open the door.   
  
"Carter." It was just a standard greeting, nothing special, just stating a fact.   
  
"Sir." She replied in the same stoic sounding way, neither one ever giving more than was needed.  
  
He noticed that she was holding one large paper brown sack and one smaller white plastic bag while clutching a six pack of ice cold Guinness. She also had a travel bag and a book bag slung over the same shoulder as her purse.   
  
"Come in. I'm starved. I'll get the plates." He took the food and beer from her, turned and left her standing in the doorway.   
  
She was a bit apprehensive about stepping into the house. As she entered the entryway and closed the door behind her, she could see Cassie lying on her stomach on the floor reading a book. Sam couldn't help but notice that Cassie was doing her best to avoid looking at her. Walking slowly down the few entry way steps and over to Cassie, Sam wasn't sure what to say.  
  
"Hey, Cassie." No response  
  
"Reading one of the Colonel's astronomy books?" Still no response.  
  
"Look, I found your school books on the desk in your room. I know that even though you were out all week that you managed to stay up on your school work, but since your starting classes again tomorrow I thought that you might need them." Sam held out the book bag hoping Cassie would take it. Nothing. So she just set it down beside Cassie.   
  
"Oh hey, I also thought that if you're going to stay here for a few days that I would bring some more clothes and personal things over for you." Absolutely nothing – no response whatsoever, Cassie was silent. Sam was crushed. Obviously Cassie was taking avoidance lessons from the Colonel. Sam set the travel bag down by the book bag and seated herself on the edge of the sofa, "Cassie, talk to me. Please?" She pleaded.  
  
This time Cassie reacted. Cassie slowly raised her head and stared into Sam's eyes. Sam was surprised by how much hurt, anger, and distrust there was in the young woman's eyes. "I don't know if I can talk to you Sam." The tone was harsh, distant, and flat. There was no mistaking the message.   
  
Sam was just about to say something, just what she didn't really know, when the Colonel appeared at the entry steps.  
  
"Dinner is served." He stated in his most elegant sounding maître d' voice, and then he quickly followed it with his chuck wagon cowboy voice, "Come an' get it." He headed back into the dinning room.   
  
The meal passed quietly. No one spoke. The tension was so thick it was suffocating. Cassie stared at her plate the entire time. Sam tried glancing up at Cassie numerous times but seemed fearful of actually making eye contact with her. Jack sat and ate and watched. He couldn't take any more silence.   
  
"Carter. Thanks for bringing the beer. Good choice of food too. Did you go to that new place on Elm street?"  
  
"Yes, Sir."   
  
"We should have had Danny and T over too, since it looks like you brought a little bit of everything." Jack was definitely pleased with the menu choices.  
  
"Well, Sir, I know that you're partial to lo mein noodles and chicken as well as sesame chicken and fried rice, but I wasn't sure what you wanted. I knew Cassie liked sweet and sour chicken with steamed rice, and I really like the sauce that comes with the broccoli and beef." Sam simply stated.  
  
"Ah yes, but don't forget the most important part about the broccoli..." he paused until he had Cassie's and Sam's attention, "...they look like little trees." He said animatedly intentionally trying to lighten the mood. Sam and Cassie couldn't help but grin at Jack's antics as he had proudly declared his fact and then proceeded to pop a broccoli floret from Carter's plate into his mouth with the chopsticks then grinned widely.   
  
The meal was nearing its conclusion. And still Sam and Cassie had sat quietly avoiding one another. All three had stuffed themselves silly, even though Sam and Cassie weren't too hungry. Anxiety had a way of suppressing one's appetite. Jack chose now to dictate the proceedings that were to follow.   
  
"OK. I've had enough of this." Jack stated confidently and sternly as he tossed his napkin onto the table. His voice almost approached "Colonel mode" but it was somewhat kinder – more like "father mode." "Cassie." She knew that he wanted her attention so she looked up. "I love you. You know that." He took a brief moment to scratch his head as he searched for his next words. "And, you also know that you're free to stay here as long as you like. However, you can't stay here and hide from whatever it is that is going on between you and Carter." Cassie started to protest but Jack quickly put his hands up to forestall any complaint, "Ah ah ah... You're almost eighteen, and although you've already had enough disappointment to last a lifetime, like it or not, you need to learn to handle this. So...you and Carter WILL talk, and you WILL resolve this...," he waved his hand slightly unsure of what exactly was going on with Cassie and Sam, "...whatever IT is. And you WILL act responsibly." He paused then grabbed several of the remaining food cartons. Jack looked at Sam who had also been watching him wide eyed with unhidden respect. "Carter, I don't know exactly what transpired between the two of you. But deal with it." He rose and walked into the kitchen.   
  
Sam couldn't believe how differently he spoke to her. To Cassie he was firm yet loving, but to her, he was just blunt and dismissive. Of course, it wasn't exactly unfamiliar to her. She was used to being the good little second-in-command always following his orders, often without question or hesitation. But while the three of them were sitting there eating dinner, it had felt – strained yes – but nice and somewhat like a family. It had felt right despite the obvious discomfort between her and Cassie.   
  
Jack had deposited the leftovers in the refrigerator and grabbed a couple of cold beers. He stopped briefly by the dining room table. "OK, If you need me, which I'm sure you won't, I'm gonna' be up on the roof star gazing. You two do the dishes." And he left.   
  
He left them sitting there, just sitting, still not talking, still silent, still unsure of what to say to the other.   
  
After several minutes of heavy silence, Sam began. Her voice was shaky and uncertain, "Cassie...I...I'm...sorry...I didn't know that Pete was coming into town Friday night." She stopped and attempted to gage Cassie's reaction. There was no reaction. 'Cassie is as bad as the Colonel,' she thought. "Listen, I wasn't expecting him. If I had known he was planning on surprising me...I would have warned you...I would have told you about him coming..." Sam slumped down into her chair, stretched out her legs out under the table, crossed her arms over her chest, closed her eyes, and sighed. "I apologize for not having told you about him before now. I should have, and I'm sorry, but...I...well...I understand if you want to stay with the Colonel for a few days. But please know, I miss you and want you to come home with me." She really was at a loss for what to say now, so she simply remained quiet.   
  
The silence persisted for a while.   
  
"Sam."   
  
She jerked her head up eager to hear what Cassie wanted to say, "Yeah?"  
  
"I'm sorry too. I don't have a right to butt into your life." Cassie started timidly but strained.  
  
"Cassie, you're not butting...." Sam was shocked by Cassie's statement.  
  
"No, it's YOUR life. You're an ADULT. You have every right to be SECRETIVE and hide things from your friends. And, you can certainly SLEEP with whoever you want no matter how much is messes up your life AND hurts others." Cassie was sounding more bitter and sarcastic with every word which continued to surprise Sam.   
  
"Cassie!"  
  
"No Sam! You wanted to talk so we're talking!" Cassie was staring wildly into Sam's eyes. "I'm sorry if you don't like what I'm saying. But, I thought I KNEW you. I thought you would talk to ME...talk to mom...about the IMPORTANT things in your life. But I guess I was wrong. We're just not as close as I had thought, or hoped." Cassie had started busily and haphazardly picking up the dirty dishes and now was heading into the kitchen to place the dishes in the sink.  
  
Sam was following her closely. "Cassie, please, understand." Sam entreated. "I wasn't keeping it from you...necessarily... I just didn't know when...," or 'if' she thought, "...I would let anyone know."  
  
"SG1 knew. Didn't they?" Cassie sounded hurt and left out.  
  
"Well, no, not really. I mean they knew that I had started dating Pete, but...." Sam stopped not knowing how to continue.  
  
"But what?" She spun around to face Sam, "They didn't know you were INVOLVED SEXUALLY with him?" Cassie drew her words out hatefully.   
  
Sam just stared at Cassie. Where was that sweet young girl? She hadn't seen this attitude since Cassie's sixteenth birthday when Cassie was so ugly and unappreciative towards Janet. Cassie knew exactly what she was doing, then and now. However, back then she was at least under the influence of Nirti's experiment, but now, she was lashing out at Sam, under her own resolve, and trying to hurt her, humiliate her. Sam had tried to be nice, and understanding, and consoling, but Sam had had enough of this little girl. If this girl wanted to play in the big leagues then that was fine with her.  
  
Standing erect with shoulders held back, Sam began. "OK fine! You win!" Sam's words began to take on their own power and venom. "You want me to apologize for not telling you – FINE! I apologize. I apologize if Pete startled you yesterday morning. I even APOLOGIZE to you for not having told Janet, but I can't undo what has been done. Besides, I do NOT have to define or justify MY actions to you or anyone else. Understood? I am a grown woman. You however are still a child. I'm sorry if you can't handle the fact that I'm seeing someone, yes sexually, but I am NOT planning to stop seeing him. Pete's fun. He's sweet and charming and cares about me. So, you will just have to get used to it!" Sam finished shouting at Cassie as she would to a young Academy cadet, then she just stood there eyeing Cassie almost daring her to say something in reply.   
  
Cassie was taken back by Sam's outburst; she had never really seen Sam react this way. Now Cassie was hurt, Sam's words were spoken fiercely, but in reality they were not as vicious as Cassie's own previous words. Sam and Cassie just stood there staring at each other, both determined. It was quite a contrasting picture. These two females standing by the kitchen sink were locked in a fierce harsh unyielding gaze that was filled with uncertainty as the night air wafted gently through the open window. The caressing breeze did little to soothe their heightened emotions. It was a test of wills to see who would flinch first. Cassie wasn't about to turn away, but her eyes started to tear up and she was determined not to let Sam see her cry. So, Cassie was the first to break eye contact.   
  
"Cassie, what is this really about?" Sam tried to sound softer. "What is really upsetting you?"   
  
Cassie wasn't ready to give in, but she wasn't wanting to prolong this either. Sam had to understand how her actions was hurting everyone. "Sam, why him?" Sam could hear Cassie's sobs. "Why now?"  
  
Sam shook her head slightly. That was a good question, 'Why now,' she thought to herself. After seven years, why now? "Pete's a...nice man." Sam was uncertain how to phrase it exactly. "But...I guess...I was just tired of being...alone."   
  
"Alone?!" Cassie couldn't believe that this was Sam's excuse. Lots of people were alone.   
  
"Yes, ALONE!" Sam snapped, "I don't want to be alone anymore. I have been by myself for so long...."   
  
"So?! A lot of people are alone. Daniel! Jack! They're alone! Besides Sam, you're NOT alone. You have us!" Cassie was trying hard to win this argument.   
  
Sam knew she had to try again, "Cassie I know I have you, but I want to...be held Cassie." How did Sam dare tell Cassie how she truly felt? "I'm tired of being alone AND tired of.... I AM a woman Cassie and I'm tired of having to always be a strong soldier, always being just one of the guys, tired of being expected to always have the right answers to save the planet, tired of crying myself to sleep, tired of wanting someone to share a somewhat normal life with, tired of ignoring what I want, tired of not being able to be with the man that I...." Sam was rapidly listing her reasons for pursuing a relationship with Pete until she suddenly realized what she was about to say; then she clamped down on her words before she allowed herself to say more.  
  
As Sam's words quickly halted, Cassie saw a chance to hurt Sam again. "Oh, so the first guy that comes along is the one you jump into bed with for a quickie just so you won't be ALONE?! And I suppose now that mom's dead and I feel ALONE, I guess I should just go find myself a stud then! And all will be right with the world. Is that what you're saying Sam?" Cassie sounded so smug.  
  
Sam looked dumbfounded with her eyes as wide as they could open, but only briefly, from Cassie's sarcastic attack because she felt as stunned as if she had been physically slapped. It was as if Cassie hadn't even heard Sam's heartfelt admission. Shaking her head, Sam turned to finish tending to the dishes in the sink. She needed to do something in order to refocus her mind. How could Cassie think that about her? But, in truth, Pete was the first guy with whom Sam had tried to allow herself to open up and be vulnerable. Narim was nice but the timing was wrong. Martouf was nice but he sort of creeped her out because she had memories of him and Jolinar together. Joe was nice but she had barely gotten to know him. Orlin was nice but really a bit too clinging. McKay was nice, OK he wasn't nice, but he was just plain irritating. There hadn't been too many others. Oh there was the occasional, or more precisely rare, date here and there for a nice dinner, only, mainly with non SGC associated men, but nothing beyond that. And now, here was Pete. He was nice, but he wasn't the.... Oh brother, how were they supposed to resolve this? Cassie just kept staring at Sam with a smug look that evidently declared her victory at having shut Sam up.   
  
"So? I'm waiting Sam!" She spit.  
  
Sam's heart was heavy. But she refused to cry. How could Cassie even begin to understand? How could Sam ever possibly expect to share her deepest thoughts and feelings with Cassie now? How could she make her understand how she truly had longed to have someone to love her – heart, mind, soul, and body. Of course, with Pete she had merely settled for body. Perhaps Cassie was right. As Sam continued to rinse the few plates, glasses, and flatware clean and put them in the dishwasher her tears began to form despite all of her best efforts. Sam simply let out the deepest of sighs – bone weary and heart heavy. "I didn't realize you could be so cruel, Cassie." Sam inhaled a sharp breath. "I love you so much. I would never intentionally hurt you. But at least the hurt I caused was by accident, yours is purposeful."  
  
Now it was Cassie's turn to stand wide eyed. She hadn't expected this. No, that's not true; she had wanted to hurt her, but she didn't expect that she actually would. "Sam...," Cassie tried sweetly, "aaaaah...I'm sorry...I ...ah...."  
  
"No your not." Sam did her best to neutralize the hurt in her voice but failed miserably. "You're not sorry at all. You wanted to hurt me. You wanted to make me feel badly about seeing Pete and for keeping this from you – WHY - I don't know? But you know EXACTLY what you're doing." Sam put the soap in the dishwasher when she noticed it was full, probably from dishes used earlier today, and engaged the machine to cycle on delayed timer. She turned to leave the kitchen without looking at Cassie and said, "Maybe it is good that you stay with Colonel O'Neill for a few days. It'll do us both some good to cool off." Sam headed to the dining room to gather her jacket and purse that she had left on her chair with the purpose of leaving when she realized Cassie was directly behind her. Sam had barely reached the kitchen/dining room doorway when Cassie yelled out causing Sam to jump slightly.  
  
"Jack!"   
  
"What?" Sam turned around with a very confused expression plastered on her face.   
  
"Jack!" She yelled again. "His name is JACK! Why can't you EVER call him that?" Cassie stared into Sam's eyes genuinely seeking an answer to a question that had plagued her for years. "Why can't you ever be Jack and Sam, just Jack and just Sam - together?"  
  
Sam stared back. So this is it. Sam had expected this was what Cassie had been alluding to during her outburst yesterday morning, but she dismissed it as impossibility. After all, how could Cassie know? Suspect maybe. But, Sam wasn't planning on dealing with this – not today.   
  
Actually, she had never truly anticipated being allowed to ever open that door to the room where her deepest admissions of caring and longing resided – no matter how much she might want to. But now, Sam was staring into the face of a young girl who was holding tightly to her dreams of fairy tale romance, true love, happy endings and the belief that if you just loved someone enough that every cloud would have a silver lining. This young girl was secretly hoping for two people whom she loved to one day admit their love for one another. Cassie wasn't as upset with Sam being with Pete as much as she was that Sam wasn't with Jack.   
  
"You know why Cassie." It was with a sad resignation that Sam uttered those words.  
  
"NO! NO, I DON'T!" Cassie stomped back into the kitchen with Sam trailing behind her. "I don't know why two people who care about each other so much can't find a way to be together." Cassie was now speaking with wisdom. "Even off duty you still call him Colonel or constantly "Sir" him to death. I'm sick of it!"  
  
"Cassie. We're never off duty. The military life is always..."  
  
"So? Mom would call him Jack sometimes. What do you think will happen if you call him Jack, or if he calls you Sam?" Cassie was earnestly searching for answers. "Huh? What?!"  
  
"There are rules and regulations that prohibit...." Sam began the tried and true explanation for her behavior. When did the regulation manual become so heavy and burdensome?  
  
"Oh I'm sick of that too! That's the same lame answer that mom used to give me for you two not being together. I can't stand how you hide behind those rules and use them as an excuse."  
  
"It's not an excuse! I have sworn my allegiance to following and upholding those rules Cassie, and I understand their place within military structure and I will do my best to...."  
  
"But at what cost? You're sacrificing your own happiness Sam. And Jack's!" Cassie definitely had Sam's attention now. "You know, for several years now, all I have wanted to do was join the Air Force like you and mom so that I can become apart of the SGC and help fight against the Goa'uld, but I know now that I NEVER want to be apart of something that dictates to me whom I can and can't love. Life is too short Sam!"   
  
Sam couldn't believe what she was hearing. "Well, that's your choice. But you don't have all the facts. You don't know what you're talking about. Colonel O'Neill doesn't feel..."  
  
"Oh my gosh! I can't believe you!" Cassie was now smiling wildly at Sam. "You can't even admit it to yourself, can you?"   
  
Sam just looked away.  
  
"It's SO obvious. He LOVES you and you can't even admit it." Cassie was going in for the kill. "Sam, don't you love Jack anymore?"   
  
Sam looked back at Cassie and mustered all of her strength, "I love all of SG1; we're like a family. You know that."   
  
"Yeah, but you're in love with Jack. And you're messing everything up." Cassie was right. "You're hurting him you know? I can tell. He'd never tell you, but he is." Cassie knew that there was not going to be any resolution on this issue until Jack and Sam were free to admit their feelings without fearing regulations. She just hoped that Pete was going to be just a "ship passing in the night" and wouldn't spoil their chance. Cassie was determined to not lose this hope. Jack had told her yesterday to hang on to hope with all of her strength and that was just what she was planning on doing – no matter how bleak it might seem today. However, she was at least glad that she and Sam had talked, fought, argued, and came to some sort of acceptance.   
  
Sam couldn't admit it, but Cassie wouldn't confront her with it again.  
  
"I'm really sorry Sam." Cassie sighed heavily feeling very drained. "Really, I am. Guess you're right. It might do us both some good for me to stay here a few days. Anyway, I think Jack needs me right now." Cassie thought briefly about what to do and then moved over to Sam for a hug. Sam embraced her readily. Cassie spoke softly, "I love you so much Sam. Maybe we can talk, really talk, some more...later. And, I promise I'll come home in a few days." 'Home,' that sounded strange to Cassie; she had a new home, and it was now with Sam. "It's just what with mom dying...and Jack getting hurt too...I just want you both to be happy Sam - together."  
  
Sam stroked Cassie's hair lovingly while hugging her as Sam remembered her own mother had done to her when she was a child and was upset. "That's not going to happen Cass."   
  
Cassie pulled away from Sam and looked deeply into Sam's sad eyes, "Too bad," Cassie sighed, "because you'd be great together." Then Cassie walked out of the kitchen to the living room to retrieve the bags that Sam had brought over before heading into the guest bedroom for the remaining evening.   
  
Leaning heavily against the kitchen door frame, Sam watched Cassie walk down the hallway. Closing her eyes tightly in order to stem the tears that were welling up in her heart and threatened to flow down her cheeks, Sam was now left to her own thoughts, 'We already are great together.'   
  
**To Be Continued...**  
  
**NOTE:** Well, here is one of the conversations that so many of you have expressed eagerness in reading. I hope that you won't be disappointed. Cassie was fun to write. Teenage girls have a unique perspective, and fighting style, all their own. There's still plenty more to come if you care to stick around some more. I'm still enjoying writing this story. Oh, thanks so much for overwhelming response for Part 9. I was so surprised, not to mention genuinely humbled to think that so many of you are taking the time to read my work. WOW!!  
  
If you liked it Part 10, or if you didn't like it, please let me know. Thanks for reading. 


	11. Part 11

**Author: **GateSeeker2  
  
**Disclaimer:** All necessary information is listed prior to Part 1  
  
**"Waiting for the Dawn" - Part 11**  
  
It was a beautiful early fall evening. The sun had fully set about an hour or so ago. There wasn't a cloud in the sky. Stars, too innumerable to count, were shining brightly in the sky. The temperature was neither too cool nor too warm, but a subtle breeze could be felt occasionally which caused the slightest shiver to run down Jack's spine as if reminding him that he's not numb – that he can still feel.   
  
Jack was sitting on his roof deck sipping his second beer and no longer looking through his telescope. It would have been a wonderfully peaceful night if not for the sound of arguing.   
  
He knew what he did was a bit underhanded of him, but Jack wanted to be sure that everything was alright between Sam, or rather Carter, and Cassie. He cared about both of them – dearly – and in Carter's case still way "more than he was supposed to" – and thought he was just acting out of true concern. But now he felt lousy. He felt like a "peeping Tom." Now he was wondering if he shouldn't come clean and confess his actions to Carter. 'She'd probably lose all respect for me,' he thought. It had seemed harmless enough at the time. Actually, he was quite pleased that his assumptions had proven correct.   
  
When Jack had taken the leftovers into the kitchen, he had quickly and quietly walked over to the kitchen sink window and slid it completely open before grabbing his beer and cell phone and heading up to the observation deck. He knew that the deck was positioned directly above the window. So, with the subtle yet clear-cut prompting for Carter and Cassie to do the dishes, he felt sure that they would talk over their problem while doing the dishes, and he would be able to hear, or rather eavesdrop, on their conversation. Man, was he ever right. He had heard close to every word – every harsh and heartfelt word.   
  
What he had heard was at this moment being replayed in his mind in an unending loop. Some of the words cut through him deeply. "They didn't know you were involved SEXUALLY with him. I am NOT planning to stop seeing him. I'm TIRED of being alone, tired of crying myself to sleep, tired of wanting SOMEONE to share a life with, tired of ignoring what I want, tired of not being able to be with.... He loves you and you can't even admit it. I love all of SG1; we're like a FAMILY. I just want you both to be happy - together. That's not going to happen." It's NOT going to happen; it's NOT going to HAPPEN; it's NOT GOING TO HAPPEN – not now – not ever.   
  
He went to take another sip of his beer, but stopped because he suddenly felt nauseous and sick. He was sick from his actions and from the words he had heard. Carter had revealed much in that conversation. He had hoped that Pete would be just a short-lived fancy for her, a brief dalliance, a simple fling, perhaps even a temporary bit of comfort for her since he obviously couldn't offer her anything – certainly not the life that Jack thought she deserved. But she had plainly stated that she wasn't planning to stop seeing Pete. Jack interpreted it to mean that she was happy – happy with Pete. It couldn't ever be Jack to whom she turned to for that type of comfort, no matter how much he would want that. Of course, that didn't mean that Jack was happy with Sam seeing Pete – especially knowing what he now knew. Could he truly be happy for her? Could he be supportive of her in this relationship? It wasn't like he had a choice did he? Besides, he didn't want her to be alone did he? She had sounded so sad and hopeless when she talked about how tired she was with her life. How could he be jealous of her chance to have someone? He had had his chance with Sara and Charlie. She deserved someone too, didn't she?   
  
Jack's nausea quickly turned into anger and jealously. No, he didn't want her to be alone, but he didn't want to be alone either. And he definitely didn't want her to be with Pete. There was something about him that he didn't trust. But he was also jealous of Pete. 'He had to be the luckiest guy in the universe – two universes!' Jack tried to muse, but it didn't do any good. All he could picture was Sam and the way she was so tender toward Pete that day at the stakeout when he was injured. She was concerned – almost scared. Could she have already fallen in love with him? Jack quickly shook that thought from his clouded brain. Then another image of Sam floated quickly through – the way she looked when she had seen him, Colonel Jack O'Neill, on the battlefield knocked down from the direct staff blast. Just before Jack blacked out, he knew that she appeared more panicky and genuinely frightened than he had ever seen her. Was she just afraid of losing her commanding officer? He had come close to death many times. Heck! He had died several times. But he thought this had been the "big one." The one from which he wouldn't be able to return. Then this image of her face was transformed in his mind to the recent image of her face when she came to see him in the infirmary just six days ago. What was it he saw in her eyes then? Relief? Uncertainty? Frustration? Longing? Affection? Love?   
  
'Stop it Jack!' He shouted to himself quietly. 'She isn't in love with you. Cassie asked her and she answered. She only cares about you in the same way as Daniel and Teal'C. Sure she cares, but that isn't the same as being in love.' Jack felt foolish thinking that a wonderful brilliant beautiful woman like Samantha Carter would ever desire him, not in this reality at least. 'Plus, you're too old for her O'Neill. Why would she ever want a man who's what – ten years older than her? Or is it twelve? What could you possibly offer her?' OK – his psyche was definitely chastising him now. 'There was a reason why she wanted to "keep it in that room;" she probably was too embarrassed knowing that an old fart like Jack O'Neill had a crush on her.' His hand gripped the beer bottle so tightly that he thought it would break. 'But, it isn't just a crush! I LOVE HER!' His knuckles were turning white because of the fierce strength that he was exerting on the bottle. 'But that doesn't matter, does it.' He relaxed his grip slightly and drained the last of his now warm beer. Jack contemplated on one more thought, 'Face it. She's with Pretty Petey now and she's happy.'  
  
The heated conversation had ended some time ago. He couldn't hear voices anymore – either in his kitchen or in his head. Carter and Cassie could have taken their conversation to her bedroom, but he was fairly certain that they had finished their discussion. The house was quiet. He couldn't remember if he had heard Carter leave though. For all he knew, she could have screeched her tires as she sped from his drive way because he had been so lost in his thoughts. Jack didn't really expect Carter to come and say good-bye. No, he just assumed she would have left quietly after her encounter with Cassie, or maybe not.   
  
"Colonel?"   
  
"Yeah?" He said as he tried to clear his throat. "huh um....Yeah?"  
  
"May I come up, Sir?"  
  
'She's always the good soldier, always asking permission, always following the rules,' Jack thought sarcastically. Should he tell her to come up or should he go down? After a few moments, he decided that he wasn't ready to go down – even though he would have loved to have had another beer, or two.  
  
Not receiving an answer, Carter called again, "Sir?"  
  
Her voice caught him off guard slightly – more so this time than the first, "Ah yeah..., right – come on up Carter."  
  
She climbed the ladder and stood upright on the deck. "Uh, Sir,...I took the liberty...." She extended her hand and offered him the two ice cold bottles of beer. "...I thought you might be ready for another."  
  
Jack looked up from the now empty bottle in his lap and saw the slightest smile on her face. It was a pure and kind gesture wanting nothing in return, and he could read her eyes were emitting honesty and sincerity. He instantly felt a small grin creep across his own face as he reached out to accept the gift.   
  
"See there, you sensed my need and provided it. That's why we're so great together." D'OH! Did he just say that – out loud? What was he thinking? He couldn't help but stare ever so briefly and stop his outstretched arm in mid-movement for a nanosecond just as he was about to reach the beers. He felt like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar. Jack quickly took the beers and turned away from her to set the beer bottles down by his chair hoping that she hadn't recognized the reference.  
  
Sam was stunned by the Colonel's words, "That's why we're so great together." That was the very same thing that Cassie had mentioned to her only minutes ago. Surely he hadn't heard their conversation. Had he? She quickly dismissed the coincidence and gathered her thoughts and asked, "...Uh yeah,...ah...may I?" She said as she motioned to the bench next to him.  
  
"Oh yeah yeah – sure – sit Carter. Uh... did you want one too?" He gestured to the new bottle of beer that he was opening.  
  
"No thank you, besides I should be heading home...soon." She replied as she gestured with her thumb over her left shoulder.   
  
Jack simply mouthed "ah" and nodded his head exaggeratedly.   
  
The two professional officers sat there on the roof's deck – not looking at each other and not speaking. He didn't know what to say to her. She didn't know what he wanted to hear.   
  
"Did you and Cassie have a good weekend, Sir?" Carter started hesitantly, still not looking at him.  
  
"Uh yeah, it was...OK. Yesterday, we drove up to Denver just to...ya know...get away." He was talking to his beer bottle. "We did some shopping and saw a hockey game."   
  
"That sounds nice." Sam was thinking that she would have really enjoyed going with them.  
  
"Yeah but today, we just...went for a walk in the park then stayed in the rest of the day." Jack sounded tired.   
  
"Well, that could have been fun too," Sam said. They had a nice relaxing day. She would have preferred that to her own day.   
  
"Yeah, well...Cassie managed to call some of her friends." Jack's voice picked up, and he said with a little bit of a lilt, "and you know teenage girls Carter, give her a phone and she's happy." He laughed lightly thinking about how he was actually glad that Cassie wasn't just sulking around the house. "She probably spent three hours straight talking to some of her friends."   
  
Sam laughed too. "Yeah that seems about right." Sam of course didn't know from first hand experience. As a teenager, she was pretty much a wall flower with only a few rare girl friends scattered around the world from all the bases where her father was stationed over the years. Being a teenager for Sam was extremely hard for her what with no mother, constantly moving from air base to air base, and having a hard nose father who had to be gone from home quite often. No, Sam was remembering some of the colorful stories that Janet had told her about Cassie's antics.   
  
The two drifted off into another round of silence, but this was more awkward and uncomfortable. Both individuals went back to avoiding each other's gaze. Finally Jack broke the silence.   
  
"Sooooooooo?," Jack drawled out and took a quick glimpse towards Sam.  
  
"So?" Carter quickly raised her head to meet his gaze, but he had already turned away. She watched Jack, the Colonel, as he held his beer bottle. It always fascinated her, for some reason, how he chose to hold the neck of his beer bottle with just his index finger snaked tightly around the bottle opening.   
  
"So," he tried again, "did you and Cassie resolve your...," he wasn't sure what to call it and began to wave his free hand slightly in the air as if it would help him find the right word, "...your...situation, problem, dilemma, disagreement," he brought the beer bottle close to his lips, "etcetera, etcetera, etcetera?" He took a sip of beer and now had his head cocked slightly looking at her waiting for an answer.  
  
She sighed heavily and tried to nod her head yes, but it came out as a combined shake and nod. Nonverbally she was definitely stating that she was unsure of the answer. Her hands, palms down were currently firmly fixed underneath her, wedged between the bench seat and her thighs as she lightly tapped her toes on the deck. "Well,...ah...yeah, ...we talked...aired out a...FEW things. I think things will be... "  
  
"Good." He stated simply.  
  
"Yeah," she exhaled.  
  
"Well, maybe you just need some time apart. You know – two women in one house and all that – it's a lethal combination." Jack said with some sarcastic levity hoping to elicit a smile from Carter, and he wasn't disappointed.  
  
Carter grinned slightly, "Yes Sir." As soon she heard herself say, "Sir," she closed her eyes. 'Cassie's right. I constantly call him Sir. I mean I knew I did but...,' Sam quickly cut off her current train of thought. Quickly opening her eyes she asked her next question. 's planning on staying a few days with you here, if that's alright?"  
  
"Sure thing – love to have her." Jack said happily and took another sip of his beer and looked up into the night sky.   
  
Silence descended again upon the pair of officers. It had never seemed so strained between them. Every word seemed forced and strained. This conversation was hard going and it left both of them feeling empty even though the other one didn't know.   
  
Jack cast another look in Sam's direction and noticed how sad and drained she looked.   
  
"Carter?" Jack asked softly while looking straight at Sam.  
  
"Yes...Sir?" She really didn't want to add his title, but she did anyway out of habit. She chose not to look at him.  
  
"Carter?" Jack asked again even more quietly.  
  
She knew he wanted her attention, so with much hesitation, she slowly yet slightly raised her head and only caught sight of him through the tops of her long eye lashes.   
  
'How do you ask a question that you know is stupid?' He thought. "How are you doing with this whole Janet...thing?" His voice held nothing but sincerity.  
  
Her head began to shake side to side almost of its own volition and her eyes began tearing. This was the first time in a week that anyone had actually taken the time to ask her how she was doing, coping, handling the death of her close friend. She didn't want to cry now, not in front of the Colonel, but it was as if she couldn't help herself. Sam looked straight into the soft eyes of her Commanding Officer, her Colonel, her friend, her..... Sadness was clearly evident in his eyes. She saw that he too was hurting and felt the loss of their close friend deeply. Immediately, her tears began to flow freely and her body was starting to faintly tremble. Sam's right hand was hurriedly placed over her mouth just as a combined gasped cry was uttered deep from within her being. She couldn't help but close her eyes tightly in hopes of shutting off the flow of her heavy tears.   
  
Jack was literally moved to tears. He hadn't expected her to react to his question this way. He hated to see her hurting, suffering through the loss of such a close friend, and evidently she was trying to cope with this all on her own. Quickly remembering the moments directly after Daniel had ascended, she tried to approach him to talk about what had happened, about the loss of Daniel. But Jack didn't want to talk, and he had merely dismissed her and pushed her and her feelings aside. He was too caught up wallowing in his own pain to recognize and acknowledge hers. She had been in such pain then like now, but he had not been there for her. Now, this strong soldier was refusing to ask for his help this time. Jack could tell that she was attempting to halt her increasing uncontrollable sobbing. He almost wanted to punch himself out thinking that now she was refusing to ask for help through this loss – probably thinking that she would only be dismissed by him again. However, this soldier was also a woman capable of feeling and hurting, and he too often forgot that she was a woman who needed comforting. Or rather, Jack worked hard to think of her not as a woman but as a soldier merely so that he could keep his own emotions and desires for her at bay. But, right now, he saw the vulnerable side of Carter, Sam; it was a side she rarely revealed. But, too often lately she had been placed in positions where she truly needed comforting and a soft place to fall. Too often lately he had been able to give her that comfort, if only through a simple hug, and he wasn't going to let her go through this alone – not this time.  
  
Quickly and swiftly, Jack placed his beer down and was out of his chair and in front of Sam. "Come here," he said as he had so many times recently. Lifting her up from where she was sitting, he pulled her into his strong arms. Sam was instantly pressed securely against Jack as he stood there with his arms totally encompassing her. His right hand was patting and gently rubbing the length of her back through her denim jacket while his left hand was firmly grasping the back of her head. Long fingers were intertwined with her short hair as his chin rested near her left temple. Jack began to give Sam gentle words of comfort. "Shush...It's OK Sam....it'll be OK...I'm here...You're not alone...We'll get through this...." His mouth was pressed against her left ear as he whispered his quiet husky expressions of consolation. "Just let it all out...take your time...shuuuu ...I know Sam...I know... I miss her too...That's right...let it out...shuuuu...shuu...."   
  
This hug was so much more than the hug in the infirmary six days ago. He closed his eyes and relished in this moment – not in her pain that she was obviously feeling but in the fact that he was holding Sam and being able to give her comfort. Jack prayed selfishly that this moment would be sufficient to sustain him until he could hold her again – if he could ever hold her again. Jack continued to embrace her and speak softly to her while he carefully rocked their bodies side to side ever so subtly. He managed to ignore his own tears that had started their own faint trail down his face. However, his tears were a mixture of sweet sorrow and bitter joy.   
  
At first Sam wasn't sure of what just happened. One moment she was sitting trying in vain not to cry, and the next moment she was standing and sobbing and heaving with such an uncontainable sorrow. So many thoughts had bombarded her mind that she was crying not just over the loss of Janet but for so many losses throughout her life. For a few moments, she forgot where she was. But now, she was completely aware of the strong arms that surrounded her. She was also conscious of how her own arms were now wrapped firmly around the waist of her Commanding Officer, no the Colonel, no Jack. In this moment he was merely Jack to her. She was holding onto Jack for dear life. It was as if he was giving her part of himself to help strengthen her.   
  
Just how long they were standing there she wasn't sure. But, it was long enough for her to cry until she felt weak and spent. If Jack hadn't been holding her, she thought for certain that she might have collapsed. As it was, she did collapse. Her rigid adherence to rules and regulations collapsed. For once she allowed herself to surrender to the arms of her.... What? Friend? No, Sam was being held in the arms of a man who "cared more for her than he was supposed to." She permitted herself to have one simple moment of comfort. There was no where else she wanted to be just now. There was no one else that gave her the strength and comfort that he did.   
  
Jack's body was strong and supportive. His arms were secure but vulnerable and felt so right. His hands were firm yet gentle as they comforted her. His breath was warm across her ear, and she could feel it as it caressed her very being. His words of reassurance had done wonders to soothe her weary soul.   
  
"Sam...," Jack said softly after her sobbing had faded, "...you don't have to do this by yourself you know...I know you're a strong soldier...you don't have anything to prove...you deserve comfort too...." Jack continued to cling to Sam, but they now stood still, not swaying, just embracing.   
  
Sam was afraid to move. Her eyes were still closed but not as tightly as before, and her face was buried deeply into the soft pullover that was covering his chest, and she listened to Jack's soft words.   
  
Jack wanted to say so much to her, "I'm sorry...Sam...." He wanted to say something about all he had neglected to do for her during Daniel's passing, but the words wouldn't come. "I'm so sorry...." He spoke in such a hush, yet the words choked in his throat and his lips found their way to her cheek. He placed the faintest kisses on her cheek. Her cheeks were soft to his lips. "Oh Sam..." Tasting the tears on her face, he turned his face slowly to hers. Their noses were almost touching. Almost instinctually their eyes opened simultaneously and their gaze locked. It was as if they were frozen unable to move and not wanting to move. Jack's eyes pierced hers and yet they were so still. They weren't searching; they were merely waiting. For this moment the Colonel and Major disappeared, and for a brief time Jack and Sam emerged - together.   
  
At some point Sam's breath became more pronounced but her heart beat was still even. She was now staring straight into Jack's brown eyes. She was standing so close to him. Sam didn't think she had ever before gazed so deeply into someone's eyes, or had them gaze so longingly into her own. She wanted to speak, but for once the technobabbling Carter was truly at a loss for words. She tried to say his name. Her lips moved but no sound came forth. Speaking might actually ruin this moment. However, kissing him would definitely ruin the moment – and their careers.   
  
Jack knew that all he wanted to do was to kiss her, and he thought he could sense the same desire in her. But he was just enjoying the closeness of her, the tenderness of the moment, and he wasn't going to take advantage of this situation. Instead, he took his left hand and cupped her cheek using his left thumb to wipe away her tears ever so lightly.   
  
Sam wasn't sure what was happening or what would come next. And she wasn't about to move or alter the moment. She was surprised though when Jack, instead of kissing her, merely embraced her for a hug, one last hug. Closing her eyes, she could tell that Jack was invoking a great deal of restraint. She had seen his desire plainly in his eyes. Without a doubt, she knew that he wanted to kiss her, and she had wanted it to. His desire had neither surprised her nor scared her because even after six years and an alien induced virus, she had remembered distinctly how soft his lips had felt and had her own desire to one day experience a kiss with him again. She briefly thought about her daydream on the Prometheus and the allusive kiss that she wanted then. Sam regretted not having kissed him then – even if it would still have been a hallucination. However, now on the roof deck she was regretting both not kissing him now and their sense of honor and duty. Nevertheless this was not a moment of romance. It was a moment of compassion, friendship, and comfort – pure unadulterated comfort.   
  
RING RING RING RING!!   
  
The ringing of Sam's cell phone didn't startle either officer. Instead it merely helped punctuate a moment that had ended all of its own accord. Jack released Sam from his arms and stepped away gesturing that he would allow her to take her call. He turned his back to her and faced his telescope. With his back turned to her, he exhaled silently and rubbed his right hand over his eyes attempting to regain his composure.   
  
Sam reached for her cell phone and answered without glancing at the caller ID. "Hello." Her voice was soft as she carefully cleared her throat as if to mask the tightness that was left from her recent crying.   
  
"Hey babe!" Pete's exuberant voice could be heard through her phone and Jack's shoulders automatically tensed.  
  
She was not expecting Pete to call again tonight. "Oh, hi. Did you make it home Ok?" She tried to sound pleasant.  
  
"Uh...I'm safe and sound," Pete responded.  
  
"Good, what's up?" Sam asked.   
  
'Well, I'm sitting here in the park down the street from your Colonel Jack's house watching you as you and he are evidently lost in some romantic moment,' Pete thought. But he couldn't tell her that. He couldn't tell her that he had seen them embrace or their tender moment through his binoculars. Pete thought that it was prudent for him to call just at the moment when a kiss looked inevitable. He had suspected, based on the girl's insinuations yesterday morning, that there was someone else that Sam was seeing even though Sam was steadfastly denying it. It was clear to Pete now that Sam's relationship with her Colonel seemed a bit too cozy to be just professional. The little affectionate display that Pete had just witnessed made him even more curious and upset.   
  
"Oh you know, not much...I just wanted to call and see how your evening went with...uhm... with...," why couldn't he remember her name! He was cop for goodness sake.  
  
"Cassie." Sam filled in.  
  
"Yeah, yeah Cassie. How'd your talk go?" He didn't really care. He wanted to know why Sam was obviously lying to him.   
  
"Fine, she's staying with the Colonel for a few days." When Sam said "the Colonel," she saw Jack move rigidly over to his telescope and start repositioning it in the Eastern sky.   
  
"Oh that's good I guess...So...are you on your way home." Pete was really hoping that Sam would be getting off that roof soon.   
  
Jack wasn't trying to listen to Sam's conversation, but it was a bit hard not too. Plus, because it was so quiet this evening in the neighborhood, he could clearly hear Pete's voice too through the tiny speaker. Jack wished at that moment that Thor would just beam him up right then and there – Jack not Pete. 'Of course, if Thor took Pete to some far off planet with the replicators...,' Jack's thought trailed off.  
  
"No, I'm still needing to tend to a few things before heading home and then...."   
  
Jack heard Sam's voice being slowly drowned out by a nearby siren that was beginning to wail through a nearby street. 'It must be an ambulance or fire truck,' Jack thought absentmindedly. The noise of the siren continued to draw near. It sounded so close and he turned to see if it might actually be heading down his street. As Jack turned he saw Sam position her free right hand over her right ear to block out the noise as she pressed the cell phone more firmly against her left ear. However, Jack had spent years in special ops and his hearing was attuned to the subtlest noise or variation. Something just sounded off to Jack and his second nature kicked in to monitor the situation. He listened closer. He was poised like an owl honing his ears into the sound of its prey and focusing on what he needed to know. There. He heard it. It was an echo. He was hearing a feedback echo of the siren coming from Carter's phone. But how could that be? If Pete was calling her from Denver then, how could there be an echo? Jack thought for only a second more before moving again, more nonchalantly this time, to his telescope. He busied himself with positioning his telescope in the direction in which he thought he heard the sound originate. He carefully and slowly panned the telescope until he found what he knew he would unfortunately find. Slowly in one fluid motion, Jack backed off from the eyepiece while reaching down to pick up his beer. Then he stood up to his full height while his face became hardened into an expression of loathing; next he raised his bottle as if toasting someone before taking a slow drag of beer as the siren's wail drifted away softly.  
  
Pete saw. He knew that he had been made. His otherwise covert position in the park was compromised because of an ill-fated siren during his untimely phone call to Sam. It was evident that the Colonel had seen him because of the cavalier toast that Jack had gestured in his direction. The look that accompanied the toast was one that unsettled Pete. Still looking through his binoculars, Pete could see the dark brooding almost frightening stare that the Colonel directed towards him. There was only one course of action now; Pete would have to leave the park. To stay now, would be inviting more speculation on top of his already questionable actions. So, Pete decided to retreat to another location. He just hoped that the Colonel wouldn't say anything to Sam. However, Pete thought that for some reason the Colonel would keep this knowledge to himself.   
  
"...what?" Sam's voice was more easily able to be heard now that the siren had passed. She evidently didn't notice the echo and was oblivious to its implications. "OK...Yeah, I'll call you soon. Bye Pete." Sam ended the call and returned her phone to her jacket pocket.   
  
Still looking at the direction of the park Jack said, "So, how's Pete?" The name was hard to say especially knowing what this man was capable of. He knew that he had followed her to the stakeout and now he was watching her again. Sure Pete's "curious cop" routine seemed to appease everyone a few weeks ago when he showed up at the Osiris/Sarah stakeout, but now. Now, he appeared to being doing more than merely following Sam out of "caring about her safety." Jack definitely wanted to keep track of this man. He wouldn't let anyone hurt Sam – after all she was the woman that he.... She was a valuable member of his team.   
  
Startled by his inquiry, Carter replied hesitantly trying to avoid eye contact with her superior officer. "Oh,...uh, ...he's...fine." The moment that they had shared mere minutes ago was still too overwhelming. And it would probably just become one of many moments that they never discussed. She began rocking back and forth ever so slightly on the balls and heels of her feet as she brushed the remaining dried tears off her cheek.  
  
"Good." He didn't know what to say now. He really didn't care to hear anything about Pete again – ever. But before he knew what he was saying, he said, "So, I hope the two of you had a good weekend." 'Oh you SO do NOT Jack,' his little voice inside reminded him. The last thing he wanted to imagine was Sam in the arms of this...this...stalker. But Jack wanted to make sure this man wouldn't hurt Carter. He didn't know when or if he would acknowledge to Sam what he now knew about Pete's actions just now. Jack needed to wait and see. He rubbed his left eye and took a quick drink of beer.   
  
"Well, actually...," she began tentatively and sat back down on the bench. Out of the corner of his eye he saw her sit back down, so he chose then to sit as well. Evidently she was not ready to leave, and Jack was certainly not in a hurry for her to leave.   
  
'Yeeeessss????' He thought. Jack could tell by the tone of her voice that something was wrong. O'Neill was figuratively on the edge of his seat even though he appeared to be comfortably slouching in his chair. Passing the cool beer bottle back and forth between his hands, he waited for the inevitable.   
  
"Well..., I was called in to the base yesterday afternoon to correct a computer malfunction, and... with the time needed to fix it...and everything...and...needing to finish up some work this morning...and....well...after what happened yesterday morning...I... decided it was just...best to stay on base last night...." There she managed to say it, even though she spit that last part out a little too fast.   
  
Jack tried hard NOT to react to her comment. 'She stayed on base last night. She didn't stay with him. Did he stay? What happened? Are there problems? Did he hurt her? Why did that come up? Why would he hurt her? Carter can handle herself physically, but emotionally?' He began to hurriedly analyze the situation like the military strategist that he was. "Oh I see," he said ultra calmly. Although, he really didn't – not yet.  
  
"Yeah well, we met for a quick lunch today before he headed home." 'Why did I add that? He doesn't want to know that.' She chided herself. "He's going to come back next weekend." Why couldn't she just stay quiet? "I thought he and Cassie might get a chance to meet each other and get to know one another."   
  
Jack had to know that Carter was alright. "What happened yesterday?" He asked cautiously.  
  
She didn't really expect Jack to pursue that line of questioning. What was she supposed to say? 'Well, he thinks I'm in love with someone else, so he's acting like a jealous rat! Quick think of something Sam!' She couldn't think of anything other than the truth and she wasn't sure if she wanted to go there, if she dared to go there.  
  
Jack continued, "Did he overhear your argument with Cassie?"  
  
"Yes!" She replied a little too enthusiastically. She brought her arms up slowly and tried to cross them nonchalantly. "I mean, yes..., he was there...and couldn't help but overhear...and he...well...he was curious...and had some questions... and..." Why was this so difficult for her? Her words stopped and she found herself staring into his gentle warm eyes. Sam knew that he wouldn't press her for answers regarding her personal life, but she felt like she was lying to him. And, she felt as if he knew it. She didn't want him to know about her difficulties with Pete. 'Just tell him the truth, Sam. Even though he is your commanding officer, he's still a friend,' she hoped. Then she added, 'even if he can't ever be more.' Their earlier moments definitely conveyed friendship, at least. She blew out a long breath and ran her hands through her hair. "Actually," 'don't say Sir, don't say Sir,' she thought. "..., Pete was the reason for my argument with Cassie. I hadn't told her about him, and she was very upset and very vocal when she found out about him so...unexpectedly. And, naturally after she left, he wanted to know why she reacted the way she had. So, I tried to explain, but Pete just got upset as well... and...well...we had an argument of our own."  
  
'Man, she looks tired,' he thought to himself. She had been through a lot in this last week too. And now she was having to deal with an irate emotional teenager and a boyfriend? Man, how insensitive was Pete? Didn't he know what she had been through? What was Pete's problem?  
  
"Oh." Jack said softly. He didn't want to ask but he really wanted to know what Sam and Pete argued about. 'Did they argue about Cassie? Surely they didn't argue about me? Why would they? Yet, clearly Pete had issues otherwise he wouldn't be sitting in the park watching my house. Geez, you're getting nosey in your old age O'Neill.' Jack's mind began to wander as he gazed intently on his beer bottle.   
  
'Should I tell him? Why is it so hard to be honest about this? Why can't we just forget rules for once? Would it really be so bad? We were so close a moment ago.' Sam was still looking at Jack and wondering if they would ever be able to talk – openly and honestly. As long as they both wore their current mantles of military leadership and obligation, it seemed unlikely.  
  
"So...," Jack started tentatively not knowing if he should but not being able to stop himself, "...so...what did you and Pete...argue about?"  
  
Sam was uncertain. 'Does he really want to know? Can I really tell him? Is this it?' Before she could answer, Jack quickly interrupted her thoughts.  
  
"I'm sorry Carter. I shouldn't pry. It's none of MY business...." He shook his head from side to side.   
  
"NO!...ah...No, that's...alright...really...." She gently bit her bottom lip as she refused once again to add the typical, 'Sir.' Jack immediately noticed the lack of his title where she would normally insert it and turned to look at her. He seemed surprised but didn't question it.   
  
"I just want to make sure that you're OK." Jack stated emphatically.   
  
They just sat there for a moment looking at each other, again. It wasn't as intense as before, but it was calm. They were never able to just take time to look at each other. It was probably no longer than thirty seconds, but there was great freedom in those moments. There was no one around, not now. Jack had clearly seen Pete drive off, and figured that Pete wouldn't chance coming around again after being caught. It was just the two of them, and for the second time that night, rules didn't figure into their relationship. They looked at each other authentically and eagerly as if trying to have the other understand their deepest thoughts. Warm tender brown eyes caressed accepting shimmering soft blue eyes. The look was almost reminiscent of the look they exchanged while on opposite sides of the force field on Apophis' ship but without the craze or shocking revelation. Their look now was gentle but spoke volumes of emotion and passion, but neither was truly sure what the other was attempting to say. Without actually speaking the words, their eyes could only estimate what was on the other's heart. And neither was ready to speak "those words" – yet.   
  
Jack finally tilted his head and raised his right eyebrow with his usual nonverbal way of asking Sam to continue with her previous topic of conversation.  
  
"Well, you know that Cassie was upset about finding Pete at my house yesterday." Sam began slowly.  
  
Jack just nodded still looking at her.  
  
"And, Cassie said some things that then in turn upset Pete."   
  
"Like what?" Jack said with that half grin smirk that he gets on his face when he is not going to like the explanation being given, or like when he thinks the Tok'Ra are up to something.   
  
"Cassie doesn't want me to date...Pete."   
  
"And I guess Pete took offense at that?" Jack stated as a matter of fact and took another swig of his beer.  
  
"Actually...Pete...well...he thinks there's someone else." There she said it and she breathed a huge sigh of relief.  
  
"Someone else?" Jack couldn't suppress the astonishment from his voice. 'Maybe that's why Pete's stalking my house.' Jack thought. 'Does Pete think I'm the someone else? Yeah, I wish!'  
  
She couldn't believe that they were discussing this and neither of them had looked away yet. Was that door to that room finally opening? "Uh huh." She said simply and nodded.  
  
"Is there?" Jack peered even deeper into Sam's eyes. He shifted slightly to his left in his lawn chair so that his body was facing her more fully. His voice was husky and sounded strained. 'Is there Sam? Is there someone else? Tell me there's someone else.' His mind urged. He felt like a drowning man trying to reach out for a rescue line. "Is there someone else?"  
  
As soon as Jack asked his question, the breeze, now turning cooler, picked up and swirled Sam's hair about her face which caused Sam to shiver slightly. Neither one of them dared to move until the question was answered. Plus, his eyes held her as firmly in place as his arms had held her only moments ago. Or was that a lifetime ago now?  
  
The question, "Is there someone else," seemed to hang frozen in mid-air. It was stuck between them much like that force field or any other invisible barrier that would separate them. Sam's response would determine the direction of any future conversation, of any future relationship, of any future hope.   
  
"I'm...not...sure." To Sam, this was the truth. She didn't know anymore. She knew since the Za'tarc confessions that the Colonel "cared for her more than he was supposed to" but that was never a true admission of love. And, even if it was, there were always rules and regulations prohibiting a personal relationship. However, she had looked deep into his eyes earlier as their faces were a mere breath away from one another. What had she seen then? Was there truly someone else? Did she want someone other than Pete? Did she want the Colonel, Jack? Was he the someone else?   
  
'YES! There is someone else. You know there is Sam! It's Jack! It's always been Jack! You love Jack. You've been in love with Jack for years. Even when he gets on your nerves, you'd rather have him bug you than to ever be without him. Cassie's right! He does love me. He couldn't look at me that way without being in love with me. And I love Jack!' Her thoughts were attacking her from all directions with a new truth that she had never fully confessed to herself and suddenly her face betrayed her. She realized that she had just admitted for the first time to herself, oddly enough, that she was truly deeply hopelessly completely in love with Jack O'Neill and that she wanted Jack in a way that she shouldn't and couldn't have. No longer did she just care for him, or love him in an "SG1's a family" way. But what good did it do to admit it? Besides, there was never a way to resolve what was between them as military circumstances were currently. And now she was dating Pete.   
  
Pete. That realization also hit her. She had moved on. She was with Pete now. Wasn't she? Pete was her chance at normalcy? Wasn't he? Why was her life so complicated? Why couldn't she just fall in love, get married, and live happily ever after?  
  
"I'm...not...sure," wasn't the answer that Jack was hoping for but he saw her emotions now being clearly displayed on her face and saw how her simple admission was a revelation to her. Now he knew that he had to ask his next question. He had to know.  
  
"Do you WANT there to be someone else?" Jack was never as hopeful as he was right now and he hoped that his voice didn't sound too desperate.  
  
Sam tried to keep her composure as she felt her lips becoming slightly dry. Her eyes were becoming moist again for what seemed like the ten thousandth and one time this week. She licked her lips, blinked quickly, and then swallowed hard before continuing, "I think I...."  
  
RING RING RING RING RING   
  
Pause. Jack wasn't about to answer his phone now.  
  
RING RING RING RING RING   
  
**To Be Continued...**  
  
**NOTE:** Sorry. I don't mean to seem cruel, but it had to end here – for now. Just trust me. This piece just kept growing and growing. I kept laboring over it for weeks trying to get it to say all that it needed to say. I don't mean to vilify Pete, but I don't think he's all that great either. I may have pushed him over the limit – but I thought that my Part 9 and Part 11 merely continued his character as we saw him portrayed in the episode "Chimera." I'm mean come on...how are we expected to appreciate or like any guy that runs a secret background check on his girlfriend and then follows/stalks her? I can't believe that Sam will stay with him for the long haul. The TV writers can't be that weird. Sure, you can chalk his behavior up to him being a cop and disguise his actions as caring, but overall it's still not very trustworthy behavior. Oh and don't forget, Pete lied to his FBI friend about dating the Major. Feel free to disagree with me. If you liked it, or if you didn't like it, please let me know. Thanks for reading. There's only one more part – so enjoy! 


	12. Part 12

**Author:** GateSeeker2

**Disclaimer:** All necessary information is listed prior to Part 1

**Author's NOTE:** OK, I know that you have been waiting for a long time for this last part. But believe me. I've been waiting too. See, I originally had all of the parts written. Yes, I did. And I was merely tweaking the story as I posted it. But then I just felt like Part 9 needed to be inserted. Then, Part 11 became slightly more tweaked and altered because of the new Part 9. And finally Part 12 simply refused to be resolved. The characters and I were fighting over the ending for this story. It was as if they wanted it to go one way, and I was torn in the opposite direction. I was totally forced to rewrite and rework and reedit and retool and… and… and…. It was getting so frustrating. I was waiting for some sort of inspiration or something. So, I thought it was best to distance myself from it for a while - you know, to get a new perspective. But, I never intended to have you wait so long for the conclusion. Plus, I was becoming quite worried thinking that I might let everyone down. Part 12 had to be just as good if not better than the previous eleven parts. So, I tried. I hope that I didn't lose too many readers because of the delay. Also, I hope that everyone will enjoy this part and that it meets everyone's expectations. Part 12 might need to be separated into two smaller parts, but I left it long on purpose. Enjoy and let me have it in the reviews - good or bad - I'll be strong and take it.

**Author's Thanks:** This was the longest story that I've posted to date. The feedback from everyone was so appreciated. Thank you to everyone who responded. It was great knowing that someone was actually reading my words. I extend a special thanks to my spouse who supports me in all I do - especially in hours upon hours of reading/writing Sam and Jack Fanfic and marathon episode watching. Also, I give a special thanks to my parents who always encourage me. And, I thank my mother who always reads my work even though she hasn't ever watched an SG1 episode. Also thanks to my close friends Cynthia, Kim, and Tracy for listening to me rant about Stargate and my distrust of Pete.  Also, a big shout out to my e-mail buddies Su Freund and Cathain Nottingham whom without their support and mentoring as fellow fanfic writers I might have quit on this story. Finally, thanks to everyone who sent me a feedback review to date: Augusta, Sci Fi Fan Gillian, File109, Maureen Flowers, reddragoncrp, jess merrick, Cathain Nottingham, draddog, NG, Neuropsych, debcole, HecatonchiresLM, TrancePilot, Dimac99, TArtemis1, pain in the mikta, Su Freund, dunk, Ilovesg1, Lunar1, Dreamer20715, BlueJelloFan, daydr3am3r, Madam Rage, Colonel Samantha Carter, Chibi Kirara, iamari, lia-fin, sueKay-04, anothersg1fan, Rena, Natters, shelaweena, Fanficer Lore, diamondsinthesky, SG1-Fanfic, black leather, and Amy.

**READ ON!!!!**

"**Waiting for the Dawn" - Part 12**

RING RING RING RING RING

Pause

RING RING RING RING RING

The silence was shattered. Jack had just asked a crucial question of Sam - "Do you WANT there to be someone else?" - when Jack's house telephone crackled to life. Sam was poised to answer the question when the phone started ringing and threatened to break their tenuous moment. The sound of the ringing was loud and increasingly annoying, but Jack was not going to interrupt this very important possible life altering conversation with Sam in order to hustle down the ladder to pick it up. He didn't care who was calling. Plus, he figured in a few more rings that the answering machine would pick up anyway. But, most importantly, he didn't want to lose the moment with Sam. It had taken them too long to even get this far into a personal conversation; nothing was going to deter Jack.

"Hello?" Cassie's soft voice was beginning to waft through the kitchen window and up to the roof deck. "Oh, hi Daniel."

Jack's eyes opened wide; he had actually forgotten that Cassie was in the house.

"Yeah, I'm fine. How ya doin'?" Cassie's one-sided conversation with Daniel could be clearly heard from where Jack and Sam were sitting.

Jack closed his eyes slowly, yet didn't move. He sat as still as stone knowing that it would only take a moment for Sam to realize what was happening.

"Oh, I'm staying with Jack for a few days." Cassie said promptly.

At first Sam didn't pay any attention to the phone call or Cassie or the fact that she could even hear Cassie. Sam was still caught up in thinking about the question that Jack had just asked her, "Do you WANT there to be someone else," and the closeness that she had allowed herself to have with Jack merely moments ago. Sam just waited for a few seconds pondering what she had initially planned to say and what she would say once they resumed their conversation.

"Well, right now," Cassie's voice could be heard again, "I'm washing an apple and getting a glass of milk for a late snack before I get ready for bed. What are YOU doing?" There was a slight bounciness in her voice as she was unmistakably teasing Daniel.

Obviously Cassie had picked up the Colonel's phone, and not just any extension. He didn't mind her answering his phone. But why did she have to answer the extension in the kitchen?

"Daniel I don't want to get into it." Cassie stressed. Her tone of voice had definitely changed, so Daniel must have inquired as to the reason for her staying at the Colonel's. All of SG1 knew that Cassie was staying with Sam.

Jack opened his eyes as Cassie's voice continued to glide up to the roof deck in the night air. Sam heard every word clearly and did a quick double take between the direction of the sound and Jack's face. Sam knew.

"Well,…I sort of had a fight with Sam…yesterday morning." Cassie supplied tentatively. "No, we're fine now…I guess…but…Daniel, can I ask you a question?"

The conversation that Cassie was having with Daniel, although soft and quiet, was still quite easily heard. So of course, if a very quiet chat in the kitchen might still be heard on this deck then it was almost certain that a more heated and louder argument could have definitely not been ignored.

"Have you met him?" Cassie asked.

Sam closed her eyes now too at the implication of where this exchange was heading.

"Who do ya think Daniel? You know, HIM! Pete whatever. Sam's jerk face boyfriend." Cassie's voice sarcastically stressed the last part.

This was not something that Sam wanted to hear and neither was it something that she wanted Jack to hear.

"I don't care Daniel. I don't like him! He was at Sam's house yesterday morning and…." The conversation halted for a moment. "So?...Listen Daniel! There's just something about him that I don't like."

Startled by the words she just heard, Sam opened her eyes to see Jack looking longingly into her eyes entreating her to understand. He knew that his little underhanded scheme had been found out.

"Daniel!" Cassie's voice was raised as she was yelling at Daniel. "Jack has ALWAYS told me to trust my gut instinct about people and my gut tells me to be leery of him!" Cassie was adamant.

Sam abruptly turned her head towards the direction of the intruding voice. She couldn't believe what Cassie was saying. How could Cassie not trust Pete? She didn't even know Pete!

"Besides…everyone knows that Sam should be with Jack…well…everyone that is EXCEPT Sam."

As soon as Cassie had said this, Sam made an effort to stand as if to exit as quickly as possible from the deck. She didn't know if it was so that she could stop Cassie or so that she could get away from Jack. But, Jack alertly leaned in to Sam from where he was sitting and was able to quickly place both of his hands on her forearms thereby stopping her retreat. Sam shook her head negatively knowing that he was attempting to keep her there. Jack spoke in a hushed whisper, "Please…Sam…wait."

Cassie's voice once again drifted up subtly to the deck. "Daniel you know I'm right."

Sam sat back down on the bench, and Jack slowly moved his hands down her denim clad arms to her slender wrists not wanting to let go of her. They just looked at each other.

"Besides, it's like she lied to me Daniel." Cassie pleaded, paused then began again. "I was so mad at her Daniel. I mean…she didn't even tell us about him and I had to find out about him in her kitchen. It was so…weird."

Jack slipped his larger hands down over Sam's and waited impatiently for Cassie's conversation with Daniel to end. The two purposefully looked down at their entwined hands not wanting to gaze too long into each other's eyes. For now, neither was going to inform Cassie that they heard everything.

"No! That's the same thing that Jack said, but she's making a mistake, Daniel! He's all wrong for her!" Cassie was sounding desperate. "OK, no, I don't know him but.…"

So many questions and thoughts were running through Sam's mind. And, Jack didn't know what he was going to say to Sam to explain, or rather justify, his actions. He wasn't sure if such words even existed.

"No!..Well, I DON'T agree!" There was a pause. "…but…" There was another longer pause; perhaps Daniel was having a few choice words of his own. "…but Daniel…" Cassie was obviously trying to have her say. "Who cares about rules or the planet Daniel or anything else for that matter? They're in love with each other and…."

Cassie's words were bold, but not so surprising. She had already told both Jack and Sam the same thing, albeit separately. Besides, she was right. They were in love with each other. Jack loved Sam, and Sam loved Jack. However, neither of them had truly acknowledged this reality to the other, and Sam had just barely acknowledged it to herself. So, upon hearing Cassie's words, Sam instantly tensed because she was embarrassed and flinched as she attempted to withdraw her hands from Jack's. However, Jack refused to let Sam pull her hands away. Instead, Jack clutched her hands more assuredly and commenced gently rubbing her left palm with his right thumb as if he had all the time in the world to enjoy touching her, but he was still avoiding eye contact. His eyes were simply directed toward her palm as he noticed for perhaps the first time Sam's strong yet feminine hands. He appreciated the strength and the softness at once as well as the chance to hold even this small part of her. Jack continued to stroke Sam's hand then moved his thumb down to her left ring finger. He turned her hand over and caressed this finger that was devoid of jewelry. The gesture was soft and loving much like their earlier embrace. Their physical contact was both electrifying and calming as they found themselves somewhat forgetting about Cassie and her conversation.

"…but…but…Daniel…but…Fine!" Cassie hollered. She was definitely upset and didn't speak for a few seconds. Finally after some time her voice was heard again somewhat more calmly. "Yeah, Sam came over tonight and the three of us had dinner together." It was several seconds before she spoke again. "Sam and I talked. We're OK. I'll go back home to Sam's in a couple of days." Water could briefly be heard running in the sink. "No, I think Sam already went home and Jack's on his roof." Cassie was silent. "Yes, I think he took his cell phone; it's not on the charger cradle here on the counter."

There was no telling what Daniel had been saying to Cassie. Sam wondered if he agreed with Cassie's position. She hadn't discussed with Daniel her relationship with Pete anymore than she had with Janet or Cassie, so she didn't know how Daniel felt about it. However, if he disagreed with her choice, she really didn't want to know just now. Right now she was focusing intently on how it felt for Jack to hold her hand. She didn't think that in all the times that she had served under his command, or even as their time with memory stamps as Jonah and Thera, that he had ever just held her hand. His touch was so tender and gentler then she would have imagined. Yet, his previous act of his apparent eavesdropping seemed so callous and incongruous to his current action, and this caused her to speculate on what his intentions had been.

Cassie's side of the remaining conversation continually started and stopped at various intervals of delay for a few more moments with the typical sounding exasperation of any teenager. "OK Daniel." "I got it!" "Uh huh." "Leave it Ok!" "Yeah Yeah." "Alright." "For a few days?" "Sure. Be safe." "I'll see you in a few days." "I promise." "Yes, Daniel. I love you too." Cassie's vocal tone and inflection was now mirroring Jack's own to a tee. "Goodnight." Nothing further was heard.

One conversation was over and yet another one was just beginning as if Jack's previous question was now completely forgotten.

They sat there for a few minutes more while Sam watched Jack touching and stroking her hands. He touched her like a lover and someone well acquainted with her nuances. The moment was soft and tender but almost felt fake to Sam. Her subdued voice sliced through the increasingly awkward moment. "You heard everything." It was a statement of fact that strove hard to be devoid of accusation.

Jack tried to give her that confused look of "what are you talking about," but he knew that she wasn't going to believe it.

Sam persisted. "Earlier…why?" She had to know.

Jack tried to avoid her eye contact and merely attempted to shirk his shoulders and nod uncertainly all the while still holding her hands.

Sam gripped his hands tightly drawing his attention back to her. "Did you know that you could hear…?" Her voice was authoritative although quiet and her last few words trailed off even more quietly. She was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt because if he had known then that would mean that he had intended on listening, and she didn't know how she would react to that.

This time Jack made himself accountable and looked directly in her eyes. He didn't speak, but she knew by his expression that he had only speculated about the probable outcome of the logistics.

"Then why?" She implored; she felt as if she was spied on and was hurt beyond words. It felt like the time with Orlin and the secret cameras in her house all over again. Jack had gone behind her back then and he was doing it again now. Didn't he trust her? Why would he do that? Did he think so little of her?

"Sam," he began imploringly, "I didn't mean to eavesdrop…" He was cut off by her disbelieving look. "OK, maybe I did…I didn't know for sure that I would be able to hear…. I…I just wanted to make sure that you and Cassie were OK."

Withdrawing her warm hands slowly from Jack's, she placed them in her lap. Jack's hands had never felt so empty, but he wasn't going to resist her. He let her go. He knew that they were getting too close this evening and sensed that she wanted her space.

Sam knew that he was telling her the truth, but that didn't take the initial sting and humiliation away. "That's not a good enough answer." She was hurting. This man who was certainly more than capable of secret covert operations had just used his professional skill and ability to manipulate her during a personal situation. She looked down at her hands not being able to look at him any more. "You shouldn't have done it," she said shaking her head side to side. It wasn't said in a scolding tone, but merely as a plain fact. He shouldn't have done it, and Jack knew it. Sam was a private person and this was a direct violation of her privacy. How dare he spy on her! She couldn't believe that he had done this.

He raised his right hand slightly as if to make a point and stop her disbelief. "You're right Sam, but…." Jack tried to begin a sort of explanation, but Sam abruptly raised her eyes to his making him stop what he was trying to say.

"Did you hear everything?" She asked suddenly remembering what all she had said to Cassie. He merely nodded a subtle yes. Sam closed her eyes and inhaled deeply because she knew now that Jack knew the full extent of her relationship and involvement with Pete and she felt somewhat embarrassed. Plus, he had clearly heard her say that she was not planning to stop seeing Pete. Forcing her eyes opened, she inquired, "How could you do that?" She said with much anguish.

Jack wasn't sure what he was going to say. He swallowed hard. "Sam…"

"I trust you with my life." Her voice was taking on a touch of animosity and she was beginning to lash out. "Am I just some covert op to you? Why would you spy on me? On Cassie? How could you do something so low and underhanded? YOU of all people?!" It was as if their previous gentle moments had all but disappeared. This was turning into a full-blown confrontation.

"Me?" Jack was puzzled. He had still been leaning in towards Sam trying to be close to her, but with her outburst he pointed to his chest with his right hand and sat up and back in his chair somewhat indignantly. "What about Pete?" Jack spoke quickly and defensively and with out thinking. He didn't like being accused even if his actions were a bit questionable. Jack continued, "Pete's not exactly Mr. Perfect Boyfriend!" He instantly regretted what he had said, especially as he saw the surprised and confused look appear on Sam's face. But he couldn't and wouldn't back down.

Sam was stunned. "Pete? What does HE have to do with THIS?"

"Well, he certainly SPIED on you by showing up at the stakeout a few months back and you didn't seem to have a problem forgiving HIM." His words were dripping with disdain as his mind instantly remembered how he was about to enter Pete's room the day after the stakeout while Pete was recovering in the SGC infirmary only to see Sam sitting on his bedside kissing him. When Jack had witnessed this, all he could manage was to turn and walk away trying to erase these new images from his brain. It was hard merely knowing that she was dating someone else but seeing her actually kissing someone else, especially enthusiastically, was all together more difficult and real. It made it all too real.

"WHAT!?!?" She was dumbfounded verging on outrage.

"You heard me!" If she forgave Pete, why couldn't she forgive him? "You don't seem to mind HIM making sure you're OK. But with me I'm violating your privacy and spying on you." Why was he acting so mad? Sam was right. He had spied on her and he shouldn't have done it. How could they have gone so quickly from such tender moments to an argument? Nothing was ever easy between the two of them. The only positive thing was that he hadn't called her Carter, and she had still yet to call him Sir.

"That's not fair, SIR!" Sam began heatedly, "Pete cares for me and…"

"Oh, and I don't!?" Jack exasperatedly blurted out. There gaze locked with the realization of what he had just said. He had just admitted, once again, his feelings for Sam. Jack refused to be embarrassed by it, but he was finding it hard to continue looking at Sam. She represented all he wanted, but was probably never going to have. However he forced himself to not look away because he could tell that Sam's eyes held various emotions, not the least though was love. In this moment, the knowledge of what they had once felt for each other and were forced to admit had not diminished in these last few years, although they both thought that it had. Instead their feelings had only deepened, but solutions still eluded them. And now there was a visible and tangible new obstruction in the Sam and Jack catch-22 mix – Detective Pete Shanahan. Frustrated of living with a semi-public acknowledgement of "caring" for someone that was prohibited by regulations and not being able to resolve it was finally taking its toll on Jack. He finally looked down at the deck's floor as he pulled off his black beanie hat and raked his fingers roughly and vigorously through his unruly gray hair while slumping forward with his elbows propped up on his thighs.

Sam didn't know what to say. Jack's words caught her so unaware. She knew that Jack had said a lot in that exasperated statement. But, she needed to focus on the issue at hand. Jack had implied that he had acted no differently from Pete. Sam had in fact attributed Pete's actions at the time to his curious cop nature and that was why he had followed her. After all, it was understandable that a cop when curious about something, or some one, would pursue answers. And that was what he had done. Right? Besides they were in a relationship, and he cared about her. 'He cared about her.' Sam heard these words echoing in her head. What exactly do those words mean? How deep does the emotional attachment to these words run? Sam had overlooked Pete's secretive behavior then because he claimed to have 'cared about her.' Well, the Colonel, Jack, also 'cared about her' – "more than he was supposed to." She knew that, but maybe she had forgotten that. Stating it now like he had simply brought back the realization and intensity of Jack's feelings. Jack cared for her more than he was supposed to almost three years ago and now it looked as if he was still caring even though she was obviously involved with some one else. Yet, perhaps Jack was "spying on her" solely for selfless reasons too, but that didn't make her feel betrayed any less. Somehow Jack's actions hurt her more than Pete's. She expected more from Jack. After all he was her commanding officer.

Jack O'Neill seemed forever destined to be Samantha Carter's commanding officer. Sam exhaled heavily as her eyes looked heaven ward for some sort of answer to this recurring dilemma. What difference did it make if she loved him and he loved her? What difference did it make if in other realities Sam and Jack had been able to pursue a romantic relationship? Here they were military. They were officers of character and integrity. The SGC needed their combined expertise. SG1 needed them on the same team. Earth needed them together professionally, not personally, even though their efforts and struggles and desires went unnoticed to the masses. Who cared what Sam and Jack needed? Or wanted? Besides, they had stored their emotions and feelings for each other in that isolation room so many years ago that revisiting them now, or ever, was just a waste of time and effort. Wasn't it?

"Colonel…," Sam tried tentatively and unsure of exactly what she wanted to say, "…I'm not sure…that…this is the time or place to discuss…".

"Oh?" Jack looked up quickly and cut her off, "and just where IS the place to discuss this MAJOR?" He was furiously sarcastic. Jack was resenting her use of their ranks. He knew that it was her attempt to distant themselves and remember the ever present rules and regulations. Sitting up now on the edge of his chair Jack persisted. "That stupid isolation room? That's the place were we first talked about IT. But YOU made sure that WE didn't talk about IT then either! YOU locked it up quick enough in that room and threw away the key!"

Sam was staggered. She could only stare at him. He thought she hadn't wanted to talk about "it." She had suggested "leaving it in that room" for his sake. Fraternization rules, if broken, were always hardest on the senior officer. She thought he had known that. Besides, he was obviously eager to accept the agreement at the time, not to mention that he looked a bit relieved because of her suggestion.

Jack was on a roll and sometimes he just didn't know when to shut up. "Oh, and MAJOR, you might want to talk to your BOYFRIEND," he said cuttingly, "because he was here earlier tonight spying on you TOO." He knew she was stunned. "Yeah that's right C A R T E R!" He stretched out her name then adjusted slightly in his chair so that his left arm was now fully extended and pointing in the general direction down his street. "He was in the park down the street, watching YOU – watching US." His voice was harsh as he tried to verbally punch her.

"What?" She wasn't sure what she was hearing. "Why…?"

"How the heck do I know!" He flailed his arms up in the arm at the stupidity of her question and almost tossed his black hat over the deck railing. Jack kept on with his rant. "While you were talking to him on your cell phone I saw him through the telescope."

"But why? I don't understand." This was all getting to be too much. She knew that the Colonel would never make this up; she thought. "He's in Denver. Why…why…would he be here?"

"Now that's a good question, isn't it? Maybe you should ask him." Jack said smugly as his face was now contorted into his ever so annoying "I'm really hating this but I'll try to endure it anyway" smirk. Then his face went blank as he pulled his beanie down tight over his head and sat back in his chair with arms crossed appearing confident as if he had just won round ten of a Las Vegas prize boxing match.

It was a good question, and if Jack had said that he'd seen Pete, then he did. She would have to deal with Pete later regarding his behavior. But for now, she still wanted to address the Colonel's behavior. Sam's voice was even, "Why are you doing this…Colonel?" She was getting tired of this.

Jack noticed the change in Sam's eyes. They went from anger to surprise to hurt and finally a weariness that almost broke his heart. Jack's previous posture of confidence quickly changed as he uncrossed his arms and now slouched in the chair. He knew that they had gone way too close to that invisible line in so many ways tonight. Jack thought for a moment about why he had retaliated the way that he had.

With a low and steady voice that threatened to crackle with emotion, Jack answered her. "Because Cassie's right. And, I still CARE about you, a lot more than I'm supposed to." Jack did his best to make sure she understood his meaning. It was as close as he would dare to come to saying, 'I love you,' while she was under his command. Exhaling heavily, he spoke as quiet as a whisper. "And I ALWAYS will."

Sam was immediately struck with the depth of emotion that was conveyed through Jack's cloaked message. But she was so tired of those words. "Sir, you can't…we can't…CARE about each other…THAT way." She pleaded as if to ignore the truth.

"Don't you think I know that?" It was said with such sad resignation. He couldn't change the way that he felt about her any more than he could stop the dawn from coming tomorrow. Regulations did not stop his feelings for her, and her being with Pete couldn't deter him either. 'I never meant to fall in love with you Sam,' Jack thought to himself. He felt his eyes becoming warm so he chose to look away. Glancing down at the deck floor, he had all but forgotten his beer. He leaned down to pick it up and closed his eyes while taking a long swig hoping that this small amount of alcohol would drown these last confessions.

Neither spoke for a few moments. What good would it have done to speak? This was a topic that they weren't allowed to address. Frustration seemed to be the only emotion that either was allowed to have.

"Colonel, I don't know what…"

"Listen…Sam…," he didn't know if he could continue, but he needed to. He had to make amends to Carter both for his underhanded spying and his recent verbal lashing out. Jack knew of know way to have them be together without one of them sacrificing something that perhaps neither one of these bull headed officers was willing to do yet. And, he was tired of hurting Sam and appearing jealous. So he stopped avoiding her gaze and quit fiddling with the beer label. He steeled his resolve for what he wanted to say. "I can't…give you any…OFFICIAL reasons for you to NOT pursue a life outside of the SGC with whomever you choose." He hoped with all his heart that she would break it off with this jerk stalking goober boyfriend. But, if it wasn't Pete what's his name, it was sure to be someone else. "You don't owe ME,…or Cassie…or anyone else an explanation. And like I told Cass yesterday, 'Carter needs to live her own life.' So, …if he's who you…want…," his otherwise neutral expression was slightly betrayed with a brief contorted look of disgust and nausea before he quickly cleared his throat and continued, "..uhm…that's your decision…and only yours. You deserve more than just someone CARING for you…you deserve to have someone…who's free to…love you…Sam." Jack had always known that they he had loved Carter enough to fight for her to keep her safe with him. Heck! He'd give his life's breath for hers in a second. But, now he realized that he loved her enough to sacrifice his life's hopes and let her go.

When he had first said her name, it was expressed so huskily that it made her shiver and forced her to remember to breathe as she listened to him speak. But she couldn't believe what she had just heard. It was him admitting to relinquishing his hopes for there ever being a "them." Sam thought she could actually hear Jack's heart breaking. Or perhaps it was her own heart that was breaking.

How could this be happening? How could she in one evening come to finally admit to herself her own repressed feelings only to have the object of her feelings choose to remove himself from the equation?

"Are there any UNOFFICIAL reasons…," she wanted to add it - but did she dare - "…Jack?" Sam was surprised by her own boldness. Jack actually appeared flabbergasted.

RING!! RING!! RING!! RING!! RING!!

Jack's cell phone crackled to life with its annoying announcement of its presence. 'Great! What's with all these stupid phones tonight?' Jack reflected then cursed under his breath.

RING!! RING!! RING!! RING!! RING!!

Reluctantly, he turned away from Sam. Jack grabbed the offending item, in its bright yellow water resistant case, off the deck railing where it was resting peacefully up until now. It took all the restraint that Jack could muster to not throw the phone far away into the back yard. He didn't want to talk to anyone just now. However, maybe they needed a break. Sam's last question had completely caught Jack off guard. Not to mention the use of his first name surprised the heck out of him. As he stood up and walked to the opposite edge of the small deck so that his back was facing Sam he blocked her only possible exit. Jack didn't want her leaving until they finished their talk. One way or another, they were going to finish this – if possible. He breathed heavily as he noticed the name of the intruder was revealed on the caller ID. 'Man that guy has rotten timing!' Jack thought. He pushed the talk button aggressively with his right hand, then slammed his left palm down on the railing as he answered in a heated tone, "WHAT!?!"

"Uh, Jack?"

"YES D-a-n-i-e-l!" Jack's verbal restraint was noticeable as he exaggerated Daniel's name.

"Uh. Did I catch you at a bad time?" Daniel inquired.

Jack sighed. "No Daniel. It's a GREAT time," he said sarcastically. "What do you need?"

"Well, actually I was working in my lab tonight…you know…trying to forget my grief for a while, so I thought that I would attempt to translate some of the ruins that Dr. Balinsky photographed. They are actually quite fascinating. It seems as if…."

Jack couldn't put up with Daniel's archeological ranting on a good day let alone right now. "Daniel!" Jack yelled.

"Yes?" Daniel said a bit shaken with Jack's tone of voice. Even over the phone, Jack could rattle his friend.

"Why did you call?" He over-enunciated every word.

"Oh, right right, I just…ah…wanted to let you know that SG1 is being recalled. General Hammond needs us to pursue an NID lead with Agent Barrett in California tomorrow."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, us but not you. You're not cleared for active duty yet, so he wanted me to let you know that you won't be joining us. Remember, you still have at least another couple of days of medical leave." Daniel knew that Jack hated not being able to be there to lead his team and was afraid that Jack would be upset about being left out of this mission.

"Fine." Jack stated flatly.

"Really?" Daniel was quite surprised.

"Yeah." Jack sounded noncommittal.

"O…K…," Daniel replied tentatively then decided to change the topic of conversation, "So…Cassie's staying with you?"

Jack sighed, "Yes she is." He refused to say more.

"So?" Daniel continued.

"So?" Jack didn't offer anything further.

"So, I called your house earlier and Cassie answered the phone. She doesn't seem too happy." Daniel didn't want to pry but he was curious about what was happening within his family.

"She'll be fine Daniel." Jack was ready to end his phone call. "Have you talked to Carter yet?" He asked only because he thought he knew the answer.

"Aah…No. I wanted to call you first but I had called…."

"Right." Jack cut Daniel off quickly in hopes of getting back to his awkward conversation with Sam. "Call her about the mission and check in with me tomorrow afternoon. Bye."

Daniel was left just staring at his phone saying, "That was…weird."

Jack ended his call and continued looking at the phone in his hand. He just couldn't make himself turn around to look at Sam no matter how much he wanted to. He placed the phone on the nearby railing and waited for his heart rate to return to normal. Jack was upset with all that was transpiring tonight.

"Daniel's gonna call you." The Colonel informed his Major.

She had wondered at first why the Colonel didn't just let her talk to Daniel. Why didn't he just hand her his phone? It would certainly have saved a phone call. Daniel had already known that she was here earlier. Then she realized. The Colonel didn't want Daniel to know that she was still here, with him.

"OK," was her only answer. Nothing else was said. It was as if they were both waiting until after Daniel had called.

Just then Sam's cell phone rang. She retrieved it, for the second time this evening, from the pocket of her denim jacket were she had put it earlier. She didn't have to look to know who it was.

"Hello?" She answered calmly.

"Hi Sam. It's me Daniel."

"What's up Daniel?" She tried to sound upbeat but it just wasn't in her at the moment. These last two days of emotional distress were tiring her, and she knew that it was getting late this evening.

"I thought you'd be home." After all Cassie had told him that she had already left Jack's house. "I tried your house a while ago but your machine picked up."

"Yeah, I'm still out." She said a bit too abruptly and didn't bother dwelling on the details.

"Oh, OK. Well,…I just called Jack to let him know that we're being recalled. General Hammond needs us to go assist an Agent Barrett tomorrow in California."

"Malcolm?"

"Uh…Yeah." Daniel thought it odd that she would know his first name, but then Daniel had been ascended when Sam had worked with Barrett previously.

"Why?" She asked not really caring as she absently looked at the cuticles of her right hand.

"Well, it seems as if there is something that requires our specialty and needs investigating." He knew not to say more over an unsecured line.

"OK, when do we leave?" She quickly ticked away in her mind what she would have to do to be ready for tomorrow.

"We, you, me and Teal'C that is, fly out of Peterson AFB at 7:30 tomorrow morning." Sam could almost picture Daniel cringing as he said it. She knew that Daniel was most definitely not a morning person. "Jack won't be going of course because of his recent injury. We'll probably be gone a few days or so."

"Alright," she said wearily. She loved her job, but it was always rush rush here and rush rush there and mission after mission after mission…. Hammond had specially granted SG1 an extra week of down town to grieve Janet's death, but nothing in her life was ever predictable. That old cliché "The only thing constant in life is change" was certainly true for her life. "I guess I'll go grab some clothes and just stay on base tonight." Sam said resolutely.

"Yeah…uh…Sam…I called Jack's house earlier and spoke with Cassie." Daniel didn't know how to broach the subject, but he wanted Sam to know he was always willing to be there for her if needed. "Is everything all…OK…between the two of you?" She could tell that Daniel was concerned. It was sweet. Daniel was so much more protective and supportive of Sam than her real brother Mark.

"Don't worry Daniel. Everything's fine." Sam tried to reassure him, but she felt as if she was keeping a secret from Daniel.

"OK," he didn't totally believe her answer, but he wouldn't push her on it, just now. "I guess it's a good thing that she's staying with Jack."

"Yeah, it looks like she'll be staying with…ah…the Colonel...for a few days." She was hoping that the conversation was close to being over.

Something in Sam's tone of voice was unsettling to Daniel. "Yeah, well, I told Cassie that…ah…well…that I'd try and see her soon." He paused for a moment, and when Sam didn't add anything, he continued. "Well, I suppose I'd better let you go then. And, I guess I'll see you tomorrow morning."

"Alright. Bye Daniel." Sam said plainly.

"Bye Sam." Sam was already ending her call as Daniel was saying goodbye.

As she placed the phone back in her pocket, she noticed that the Colonel was still standing very rigidly where he was prior to Daniel's phone call.

Sam began tentatively, "Good thing Cassie's already staying with you…," she thought whether or not she should then said, "…Sir." She immediately shook her head regretting having added his title when his shoulders visibly tensed.

Jack's only response was a subtle head nod.

"I guess something's up with the NID again." Sam prompted. "We'll probably be gone a few days. Daniel probably already told her, but I'll be sure to check on Cassie before I leave."

He merely nodded again and continued to stare out into the side yard with his back to her.

Sam continued to watch Jack. He was like a statue. It was as if he was frozen and couldn't move. He was so close to her and yet seemed so far away. His feet were planted firmly with legs slightly apart. His back was straight. His shoulders were held back. His head was held erect. His hands were thrust deeply into the front pockets of his jeans. His bearing gave nothing away, but she pondered his physical presence for a few moments anyway.

In the field during combat situations she could read his movements, no matter how small. His movements or the lack of them may have been misleading to those who didn't know him. But under fire she instinctively knew exactly what he wanted and expected from her. And she would respond immediately without faltering, trusting him with her life and the lives of her teammates. Every raised eyebrow, every grimace, every head nod, every hand signal told her exactly what he needed from her for the situation at hand. In the briefing room or her lab she could often read his movements there too, even when he tried hard to conceal his nonverbal messages. She could tell when he was bored, tired, excited, distracted or even unnerved. Tonight, he seemed a little off, a little unnerved, even a little vulnerable.

Jack O'Neill always seemed a bit more exposed when he was dressed in civilian attire. Perhaps, it was mainly because she rarely saw him this way without the trappings of his uniform. His off duty casual civilian wardrobe was as far from his military bearing as possible. Jack was dressed typically tonight: comfortable jogging shoes, warm thick white athletic socks, loose comfy and somewhat baggy washed-out faded blue jeans worn without a belt, old soft short sleeve gray Air Force Academy T-shirt, dark gray pull-over fleece zip neck jacket, and of course his favorite black beanie. This was the side of the Colonel that Carter rarely got to see, but enjoyed when she did. When Jack O'Neill looked like this, he almost seemed obtainable.

When were they ever free to simply watch each other like they were doing this evening, and like Carter was doing now? It felt both comfortable and strained. She knew that the Colonel was aware of her gaze upon him. He could read her even better than she could read him. It didn't matter where they were: the briefing room, the commissary, her lab, off world, O'Malley's, a backyard BBQ, or wherever. Sometimes, she would find him staring at her – not glaring or leering – but just watching. He was like a sponge absorbing her subtleties, her movements and the emotions that often elicited those movements. At first, years ago, she found it a bit unsettling to feel his eyes gazing upon her as if trying to memorize her because it was often such a deep steadfast all-knowing gaze, and it was from her commanding officer. However, these days, she could sense it before she saw it and it felt comforting to her. It reassured her that he was there as if watching over her, and not just as a CO. But now, at this very moment, she wondered if he was ever going to turn around and look at her again, simply as a man. Something had changed tonight; it had changed them both.

Yes, Jack had eavesdropped on her conversation with Cassie. And yes, Sam was upset by it, but her former intense outrage was being replaced by understanding. Although his actions were wrong, his motives were right. Jack was no different from Pete. Or was he? Jack informed her that Pete had also being spying on her tonight. Sure she justified Pete's actions months previously, but what could Pete's reasons have been tonight. Sam was finding herself confused over this new revelation. Plus, Jack was laying his heart on the line for Sam to see. She knew that Jack O'Neill didn't do "vulnerable" willingly. How could two intelligent people become so vulnerable to love that they couldn't seem to formulate a reasonable solution?

These two Air Force officers had developed such a bond that they often spoke more non-verbally than verbally. It was equally hard for both of them to vocalize their needs, wants, fears, hopes, etc. Yet, they both understood the other – most days. But right now, on this deck, neither knew what they other truly wanted or needed, and neither was willing to ask.

Sam was wringing her hands striving hard to think of something to say when suddenly Jack spoke, albeit still facing away from her. So much was already said tonight, but there were was still so much left unsaid. However, what needed and longed to be said might forever remain unspoken.

"You didn't finish answering my question." Jack asked calmly and with great determination.

"What?" Sam was confused by his question. She had become lost in her thoughts of Jack and the situation this evening trying to think of something to say. Hadn't she been the last to ask a question prior to Daniel calling? "What?" She asked again coming out of her thoughts, "I'm sorry…what did you say?"

"Earlier. Before Daniel called and Cassie answered. You didn't answer."

"Oh." Sam looked down at her shoes and briefly shook her head. She was so surprised that the Colonel would revisit this question. It seemed like ages ago since he had asked. She didn't need to ask him to repeat the question though. She knew to which he was referring. It was still emblazoned on her heart: "Do you want there to be someone else?"

The temperature around her was dropping, as the breeze became more constant and forceful, but she was beginning to feel her heart heat up. Blood was coursing through her veins and pumping vigorously. Could they really be daring to discuss this? "No,…no I didn't,…did I?"

"So?" Jack turned around so slowly that his movement was almost imperceptible. "Do you WANT there to be someone else?" This time the phrase was uttered much more calmly and resolutely. She had asked him only moments ago if there were perhaps any "unofficial reasons" that he could give her for not pursuing a life outside of the SGC with Pete. And she had purposefully called him "Jack." He was taking a chance, but it was a chance he had to take. He had felt like a paratrooper cutting away his main chute only to realize that his reserve chute was now failing too when he told her that "she deserved to have someone love her." Yet, he was hoping that she was giving him a chance, perhaps he had a second reserve chute. 'Hey, miracles could happen,' Jack thought. Well, he would answer her question after she answered his. After all, his answer would probably be determined by hers.

'This is it. After all these years, for some reason, the time is here. What am I going to say? Do you want someone else? Do I? Do I want someone else?' Her mind was rehashing the same question. Sam realized that this was the same question that Pete had asked her yesterday. When Pete had asked it, he asked it in a harsh accusatory manner, but just now as the Colonel, no as Jack - the man who loved her and whom she loved - asked her, he asked with a soft uncertainty that pleaded for the truth as if his very life hinged on it. She didn't know what to say or do. Then she began to feel his gaze, his warm and protective gaze, upon her coaxing her to answer. Sam slowly raised her head and met his eyes with her own.

"Yes."

That was it - one simple word. It was still fairly non-descript if anyone had been listening, but for those involved in this conversation, it was now reality. She uttered the truth. She could never lie to him, and she wasn't going to ignore "it" anymore. How many more times could she do this to herself - ignore the truth? How many times would she almost loose the man she loved? How many times would they have like this?

She barely spoke that one word. Jack would have missed hearing it if he had chosen that moment to exhale. If he hadn't been focused so intently on her, he might have misread her. But he read her total being and knew that she was not happy with Pete. Sure she might care about Pete and perhaps she even had come to love him somewhat, but he was certain that she wasn't in love with Pete – not now and hopefully not ever. Jack merely acknowledged her admission with the subtlest head nod. He somehow just knew that she had given him the answer that he had longed to finally hear.

Her eyes helped to express all that remained unspoken by her lips. Sam Carter admitted to wanting him – Jack O'Neill, broken down weary physically and emotionally scared soldier and all around pain in the mitka. He had always hoped that she did care for him, maybe even love him. Now her eyes shown bright like the morning sun with the glaring truth. Sam loved Jack. Oh, he couldn't be absolutely one hundred percent certain without her saying the precise words. But he was banking on ninety-nine percent that she had admitted to wanting someone other than Pete, maybe even Jack himself. Jack felt rejuvenated. And for now, he could wait – some more since it was necessary – until circumstances were different. It might still be awhile before they could truly speak of their love openly and honestly "given their working relationship and military ranks." There were still many more questions and answers to come, but for now the door to that room that had seemed so locked and forgotten had been opened, if only slightly.

Sam knew that although she had only admitted to possibly wanting someone else instead of Pete. She also hoped that Jack knew to what she was referring. However, Pete was still in the picture. She was dating Pete. She was in relationship with Pete. And, although she loved Jack, she didn't know if she was ready to break things off with Pete, and this confused her. Pete wasn't who she wanted for all time, but it was who she had – now. And, she didn't know if she would be able to give up her new found contentment for the uncertainty of a happiness that might forever elude her. Could it be that although she wanted Jack that she wanted the immediate appearance of normalcy more?

Jack stood there watching Sam as she sat watching him. Sam was hoping that Jack would pull her to him in a deep hug again, but she didn't think that was going to happen, no matter how much see wanted him to do it. She realized that in Jack's arms was the only place that she felt safe and secure. So many times recently he had given her his shoulder for support. So many times lately she reveled in the ability to be so near him, to feel him, to be embraced by him so completely. Even as Sam longed for Jack's arms, she began to realize that this weekend she was constantly distancing herself from Pete's touch. Although Sam had been physically intimate with Pete, it felt distant and intrusive. However, with Jack she was able to sense more intimacy in his offering of support. Pete wasn't who she wanted, but it was who she had - and might continue to have.

"But…I mean…I took a chance…Pete's a…nice man, but…lately…it just seems harder to make this…work." She thought she had to clarify her earlier confession.

"Yeah well," Jack finally began to ease his posture, "maintaining a relationship, even in the best of circumstances, is hard work." He nodded as if to say he understood Jack also hoped that she would know that he was also referring to his relationship with her. He remembered how hard it was being married to Sara and keeping so many secrets from her during his Special Forces days.

Sam just nodded. After all, what could she say? He certainly had more experience than her in this area. He had been married for around ten years or more.

"Listen, I know that Cassie is upset with you over this…." 'And I'm more than a little perturbed!' Jack thought, "…but she knows what it's like to…date…she'll come around…you need to live your own life. I meant what I said earlier…you deserve to try…and have a life…and…like I said… 'if he's who you want'," but he quickly added, "for now…, that's your decision, and if he's NOT," Jack knowing that she had said, "Yes," to wanting someone else. "Well…that's your choice too." He didn't want to seem like he was given her his blessing on seeing another man, any other man, but what could he do?

"But...," Sam started.

"But, nothing has changed, and nothing is going to change…," he gestured between himself and Sam, "…for…awhile."

She just looked at him perplexed. 'How could he be saying that? Everything has changed tonight!' "But what do YOU want…Jack?" She longed to know if he wanted her as much as she wanted him.

Jack could tell that Sam wasn't understanding what he was saying. "Sam…I want…right now…what I want…well…you deserve to have someone…now…if that's what you want. We…I mean… Daniel, Teal'C and I have already had a shot at having someone in our lives. There's nothing I can…as much as I…I don't want you to…it has to be your…." He just couldn't bring himself to say more. Jack was embarrassed of stumbling over his words. He wasn't used to expressing his feelings for this woman in words. He wasn't free to say 'I say love.' He wasn't able to tell her how much he wanted her to stop seeing the loser Detective.

"But…what if I can't have what…or who…I want?" She wanted him to give her a reason to stop dating Pete. She stood up and moved closer to him placing her right hand on his left sleeve.

Jack was amazed with Carter's newfound boldness tonight as he watched as she stood and moved closer to him. He couldn't take much more of this. She was calling him Jack. She was near him. She was touching him. He wanted nothing more than to hold her in his arms again, but he knew if he did that then he might not let her leave this roof deck – ever. It was killing him to think that she might continue dating Pete, especially knowing that she wasn't in love with that jerk. Besides they had danced so closely around their relationship so this evening. But, they were only able to resolve so much tonight.

Jack wanted the awkward "bare your soul" moment from earlier to pass – quickly, so it was time to go back to his humorous ways.

"OOOOHhhhh!" Jack said with a sly grin on his face as he took his hand from his pocket and wagged his finger slightly at her. "That's were you're wrong, Carter." He crossed over to his chair and sat down while retrieving the last beer which was loosing its coldness.

"Wrong, Sir?" She unknowingly added the "Sir" probably since he had used her surname. It was just an instant reaction. They were back to Colonel and Major. They were forever Colonel and Major.

"Yep! You see. I also told Cassie that all you can do in life is take one day at a time and above all else keep hoping…hoping that one day…you'll get what you want." For some reason, Jack felt confident, wearily so, but confident none the less. And he took a deep swig on his beer.

"And are you hopeful, Sir?" She couldn't help but grin slightly at the truly weird and awkward turn of events this evening.

Jack was quickly serious again and pierced her eyes with his. "For a long time after Charlie's death – no – I wasn't." The seriousness faded as quickly as it came. "But now…absolutely! I have to be." Jack said with a half confident smirk/grin then looked at the beer bottle. He added one more comment while looking straight at her, "Now more than ever."

"I wish I was." Carter was sounding downtrodden. Right now, she couldn't see how she was ever going to have what she wanted - who she wanted - now. No longer was it a mere attraction to her Commanding Officer; no, now it was an admission of truly being in love with Jack. How would she survive this?

Jack was now propping his feet up on the railing, "Oh come on Carter!" Leaning in slightly to readjust the telescope, "If and WHEN," he couldn't help but stress "when," "you want to stop seeing what's his name and decide you want someone else. Then, someone else will be there."

"Oh please Sir." She chuckled out loud. "How can you be so sure that "Someone Else," and she gestured with her fingers making quotation marks in the air, "will be there WHEN I want them to be?" She knew that he wasn't comfortable with her seeing Pete. And she couldn't believe that he was just appearing to give her the "OK" to date another man, to be with another man.

He backed away from the telescope eyepiece and looked at her then smiled. "Oh I don't know. Just call it a safe bet."

Sam's eyes instantly grew wide at the reference that he obliviously could know nothing about. 'A safe bet. He said it was a safe bet.' She now smiled. He was telling her that he'd be there for her. Sure, he might have been somewhat hurt by her choosing to start dating Pete, but he had apparently understood her reasons and wouldn't hold them against her. "O…K… Sir. I'll take that bet." Now she just needed to decide whether or not she was going to continue seeing Pete, especially after this evening's events.

He looked at her somewhat puzzled with his eyebrows slightly knitted together. "O…K…."

And with that, he was awarded one of her special gold medal brilliant smiles.

"Well, Sir." She looked down at her watch and noticed that it was nearing 11:30pm. "I suppose I need to go." And she rose while gesturing over her shoulder with both her thumbs. "It sounds like we're gonna' have a busy day tomorrow. I'll check in with Cassie and let her know what's happening before I head out." She positioned herself to start climbing down the ladder. "Thanks for everything tonight, Sir."

"Yeah well…," he left it open ended, but grinned brightly at her.

"Sir? Are you coming down?"

He looked up into the sky, "Nah, I think I'll stay a little longer."

"OK – goodnight." She again refused to add the usual tag title and left.

Jack leaned over the rail just as her head disappeared, "Carter! Lock up the front door on your way out."

He sat back and began to drink more of his beer. The sky was dark and the stars illuminated his very soul. Despite his grief of losing his close friend and colleague, Janet, he felt freer than he had in months. Tonight was productive. Wasn't it? He couldn't believe so much was disclosed. Yep, he definitely had to be hopeful now. Nothing in life was for certain. The dawn of a new day wasn't even guaranteed, but merely hoped for. 'Maybe I'll just stay up here and wait for the dawn,' he thought. Jack now had a renewed hope and he would cling to it. One day he and Sam would have a real open and honest conversation without having to speak in riddles and without leaving things half-said. Some day there would be no barriers between them. When that day came, Jack intended to make sure that Sam knew exactly how much he loved and "cared" for her.

And until Carter walked down the aisle and said, "I do" to another man, he could still hope for what he wanted. Besides each dawn delivered endless possibilities and opportunities to each new day.

THE END….of Book 1

**Author's Thanks**: This was the longest story that I've posted to date. The feedback from everyone was so appreciated. Thank you to everyone who responded. It was great knowing that someone was actually reading my words. I extend a special thanks to my spouse who supports me in all I do - especially in hours upon hours of reading/writing Sam and Jack Fanfic and marathon episode watching. Also, I give a special thanks to my parents who always encourage me. My mother always reads my work even though she hasn't ever watched an SG1 episode. Also thanks to my close friends Cynthia, Kim, and Tracy for listening to me rant about Stargate and my hatred for Pete.  Also, a big shout out to my e-mail buddies Su Freund and Cathain Nottingham whom without their support and encouragement as fellow fanfic writers I might have quit on this story. Finally, thanks to everyone who sent me a feedback review to date: Augusta, Sci Fi Fan Gillian, File109, Maureen Flowers, reddragoncrp, jess merrick, Cathain Nottingham, draddog, NG, Neuropsych, debcole, HecatonchiresLM, TrancePilot, Dimac99, TArtemis1, pain in the mikta, Su Freund, dunk, Ilovesg1, Lunar1, Dreamer20715, BlueJelloFan, daydr3am3r, Madam Rage, Colonel Samantha Carter, Chibi Kirara, iamari, lia-fin, sueKay-04, anothersg1fan, Rena, Natters, shelaweena, Fanficer Lore, diamondsinthesky, SG1-Fanfic, black leather, and Amy.

**Closing Thoughts**: Well, if you're reading this, you made it to the end. So, how did you like it? Did it hold up to the other parts? I know that some of you may be disappointed in the outcome of the story, but I was trying, for now, to really stick to canon and just embellish what I thought might have been left out between the episodes "Heroes Part II" and "Resurrection." However, if you can find it within yourselves to read more of my work, the sequel, Book 2 – a New Day - will definitely contain a divergence from the original story line. Besides, if Sam and Jack can't be together soon, I think I'm going to scream!!!!!!!!!!!!! I had hoped to post the sequel long before the Season 8 season begins. But alas that is not going to happen since I'm just now finishing Book I and Season 8 begins tonight. I make no promises on when it will be posted. Oh Yeah! I SO don't like Pete. Thanks again.

Please share your thoughts and comments, if you haven't already. I would really like to know what, if anything, you liked about my writing, style, idea, or character development etc. Oh – and specifics are greatly appreciated. Also, if you didn't like it, that's helpful too. I'm relatively new to the fanfic posting circle – and writing fiction in general, but I'm really enjoying writing them and hope that you enjoy reading them. So, I really could use your feedback. Besides, I have numerous other ideas in the works and am curious if it would be worth the time and effort to pursue them. Thanks for your time.

**Footnotes**:

1 This is a quote from "Olive Oyl" in the cartoon Popeye. Sorry – haven't found out the title of the actual TV episode yet.

2 "Fruit Loops" belong exclusively to Kellogg's corporation.

3 This is referencing a character from the "Simpsons" TV show.

4Sedaka, N. and P. Cody. "Solitaire." Carpenters Love Songs. Compilation Album © 1997. A&M Records, Inc.

Just reiterating, no money was made from the posting of this story. It is purely being posted for enjoyment and pleasure. Only a brief mention of a few specifics lyrics were used. Are rights to the song belong entire to Neil Sedaka. I claim no rights to it, but I highly recommend purchasing the above mentioned album. It's really soothing.

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